


Make Believe

by ellieoh



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Bisexual Dean, Blow Jobs, Bottom Castiel/Top Dean Winchester, Canonical Character Death, Castiel is the best best friend, Charlie and Meg are good bros, Dean and Cas think they're subtle, Dean in Panties, Dean is a Straight for five minutes, Dean is a casual jock, Dungeons & Dragons is a bar I wish was real, Elementary School to Middle School to High School, Explicit Sexual Content, Friends to Lovers, Gay Castiel, Growing Up Together, John Winchester Not Being an Asshole, Kid Fic, Lap Dances, Love Confessions, M/M, Making Out, Masturbation, Mutual Masturbation, Pansexual Gabriel and Balthazar, Peter Pan - Freeform, Poor Sammy gets mortified later on, Rhonda Hurley makes an appearance, Russian Castiel, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, serious pining, surprise they're not, the High School Musical, they're very versatile, we all know what that means
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-09
Updated: 2016-10-27
Packaged: 2018-08-20 08:20:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 46,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8242684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ellieoh/pseuds/ellieoh
Summary: What started out as Dean auditioning for the Elementary School's production of Peter Pan to fuck over that slime Cole Trenton somehow managed to turn into a life long friendship with Castiel Novak.It takes Dean all of five minutes to realize he'd be lost without Cas, but a few more years to realize he's desperately crushing on his very best friend. Growing up is hard, but growing up secretly in love with your best friend is harder. Good thing all of their friends are ridiculous enough to push them together.or, that time Dean met his best friend during the 5th Grade Play and ends up swooning over him for years to come.





	1. 5th Grade

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is a thing that happened. 
> 
> To the tumblr anon who prompted a Supernatural/Peter Pan mash up situation - this is probably not at all what you had in mind, but this is what happened.

The cafeteria was loud and full of the chatter from his classmates. The parent helpers were attempting to quiet down the gaggle of rambunctious fifth graders, but that didn't seem to be going well for them. Ash walked back into the lunchroom, all casual-like and loose limbed in that way only he was able, and sat down at Dean's table. One of the parent helpers came from the hallway calling in another student.

“How'd it go?”

Ash shrugged and pulled out his homework, that odd little smile still lingering on his face. “Fine, I guess. It's not so weird once you're actually in there, y'know.”

Dean nodded, even if he only sort of understood what his friend was attempting to imply and went back to the paper in front of him. Some of the boys from his after-school football team were tossing a ball around down in the far end of the cafeteria, he considered going down there to play with them but decided against it. He wanted the lead role and he was damn well going to get it.

The Fifth Grade play was a big to-do in Lawrence – mostly because there wasn't much else going on. All the districts did them, and last year Hillcrest Elem's production of _The Jungle Book_ beat out Cordley Elementary's _Annie_ shit-show by a landslide. Hillcrest had the best fifth grade plays, everyone knew that. And Dean was going to be the lead this year.

Charlie slumped down in her seat beside him, sighing dramatically as she pushed away the final sheet of homework she'd been working on. “I just can't do this any more. I'm so done.”

Ash just pulled over her sheet, looking over the few problems she'd been unable to complete and began to finish them, writing out how he'd come to their solutions. They were the smartest kids in the class, it was fact. They were already doing eighth grade math. _Eighth grade_. They were practically geniuses.

There were other smart kids in the class, like Kevin who was moved up a whole grade and doing work just as hard, or Hannah who could spell practically any word ever and won the tri-county Spelling Bee three years in a row.

Then, of course, there was Castiel.

Dean looked over at the boy seated in the corner by the window, looking over the packet of lines in front of him, a deep furrow of concentration between his brows. His best friend Meg sat beside him trying to see how many plastic spoons she could balance on her forehead.

Cas was smart too, he was one of the best in Science – Mrs. Merry said so all the time. He won first place in the Science Fair this year, Dean remembered because Cas hadn't been afraid at all of the bees his project used, he remembered being impressed by that.

They were friends in the _we've been going to school together since we were six_ kind of way, but he'd never been exactly close with Castiel. He liked him, thought he was kind of a cool guy, but they'd never really had homeroom together or any classes so it was a little hard to get to know him better. Dean secretly hoped that the play would give them a reason to hang out more, because Castiel's big blue eyes _did things_ to Dean and he really wanted to ask him more about his bee project.

Benny seemed to give up playing football at the other end of the cafeteria and slid into the spot next to Dean at the lunch table they were currently seated at. “Still at it, brother?"

Benny was probably Dean's best friend outside of Charlie. They'd met in school, obviously, but became friends when they both signed up for after-school football and made the team. Benny was a nice guy under his sort of burly exterior and his parents loved him – especially his mom, she was always going on about how Benny was _such a sweet boy_.

“You know it.” Dean looked back down at the lines he'd been studying. He knew them, and he knew them well, his mom had been helping him learn it all and Sammy whined that he went over it too much. “I'm gonna get Peter.”

Benny just smiled, “I have no doubt about that, brother.”

Dean was comforted by Benny's thick southern drawl and his confidence in him. Benny's family had moved here a few years ago from Louisiana and during the summer they often went back to visit family, so his accent was still pretty heavy. He got made fun of when he first moved here because of it, but that faded away soon enough because Benny was charming and well-liked, the accent stayed.

“Thanks, Benny.”

A few more kids came and went, most with smiles on their faces and wild eyes from actually auditioning in front of the director. She was a young woman with a round face and soft eyes, best of all she was enthusiastic and her excitement hyped them all up.

His name was called out by one of the parent helpers, he quickly gathered up his packet of audition papers and ignored his friend's encouraging words, focusing on the songs he'd memorized and the lines still running through his head.

He was placed outside of the music room door, leaning against the wall as he waited for the person before him to finish. He took a deep breath in and out, calming himself. He was bright and charming and he could play Peter Pan in his sleep, there was nothing to be nervous about, he could do this.

Lisa walked out of the room, her hands shaking, but a large smile on her face. Her wild eyes turned to him and she wished him good luck as she walked back into the cafeteria. He was called in.

He walked into the music room, Mrs. Parson, the music teacher sat beside Ms. McConnell the Drama Club Advisor. They were both smiling and seated by the windows, music stands placed in front of them and pencils in their hands. He moved in with a smile and held out the audition packet to them before taking his place in the middle of the music room.

“Hi.” Ms. McConnell smiled, her rosy cheeks and big eyes made her look a bit like a doll. Dean found it comforting. “What's your name?”

“Dean Winchester.”

She wrote down his name on the sheet laid out on the music stand in front of her, she looked back up at him and smiled. “Okay, Dean, and which character will you be auditioning for?”

“Peter Pan.” He smirked in his most charming manner, hoping it would win him some character points.

“Mrs. Parson and I are going to listen to you sing first and then we'll read one of the sides from the audition packet, all right?” He just nodded, “Okay, then. _I Won't Grow Up_ , whenever you're ready.”

The music started and he sang out the song. His voice was still a bit high and childish because of his age, but it worked for playing Peter Pan. He went through the song with ease, using his facial expressions that came naturally because of the lyrics and made sure his body was loose and relaxed. He liked being onstage and he liked preforming in front of people, his mom often said it was something he was really good at, maybe even something he could do when he was older.

The song ended and the smiles on Mrs. Parson and Ms. McConnell's faces made him smile as well. His heart was beating a bit fast, but his hands didn't shake. He _liked_ this. “Great job, Dean.” Mrs. Parson gave a sturdy nod, which translated to her pride in his small performance. “When you're ready, Ms. McConnell here will ready opposite the side with you.”

“Do you need the sheet?” The younger woman asked, holding out the paper for him to take.

“No, I memorized everything.”

Ms. McConnell looked impressed as she smiled softly. “Well, all right then. You read Peter and I'll take Wendy. When you're ready, Dean.”

The back and forth of the short scene was easy and Ms. McConnell _must_ be an actress in her spare time because she was really good. He felt comfortable saying his lines with her and he felt comfortable acting out the character he had developed for Peter in front of the two teachers. She then asked him to preform the small monologue that was on the sheet, in character. It was smooth sailing. They thanked him for coming in and that the cast list would be given out on monday morning. A part of him couldn't believe he'd have to wait _the whole weekend_ to find out if he'd made Pan or not.

He walked out of the music room and there was Castiel. He was leaning against the wall just as Dean had, paper clutched tightly in his hand. He was about the same height as Dean, and his dark hair was always a wreck that made Dean smile. Maybe it was from the high of just auditioning, his heart still pumping wildly in his chest, that when Cas's big blue eyes met Dean's, he just smiled wide.

“Hey, Cas.”

Castiel just looked at him with the same blank face that he looked at everyone with. But, Dean could see the different emotions swirling in his eyes, the subtle shift in his features as he looked at Dean. “You sounded great, Dean.”

The praise made his cheeks flush a bit. He knew that he did well, but it was still nice to hear from a peer. “Thanks, Cas.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Good luck, I'm sure you'll do great.”

Castiel gave him a small smile. “Thank you, Dean.”

Cas was called into the music room and Dean was sent back into the cafeteria. He slid back into his seat beside Charlie and Benny, the smile never melting off his face.

“How was it?” Charlie asked excitedly, getting all up in his face. “Was it terrifying? Were you nervous? How did you do?”

“Jeez, one question at a time, Charlie.” He chuckled at her exuberance. “It was good. Terrifying, but good. I think I did okay, I was a little nervous but once I started it was like I was a totally different person. Like when we play football.”

“Yeah,” Benny agreed. “You get nervous right before you play, everyone's lookin' at you and everything, but then once you're out there on the field, you sorta forget everything else.”

“Exactly.” Dean nodded.

Castiel came out not long after and was ushered back into the cafeteria where he went back to his seat beside Meg. Dean found himself getting up without thinking about it and going over to Cas' table. He dropped down into the seat across from the two dark haired kids, smiling.

“How was it? How did you do?”

Cas shrugged a shoulder, a small smile on his lips. “It was scary, but I think I managed to do alright.”

Meg's name was called out by one of the parents and she stood from her spot beside Cas. “Well, suckers, I'll be back in a flash.” And then they were alone.

“Which song did they make you sing? Who did you audition for?” He was still on a excitement high from auditioning and couldn't help his slightly manic behavior.

Castiel just have him a small smile in return as he fiddled with the sheet of homework in front of him. “I auditioned for John, and they made me sing _I Won't Grow Up_ and _Follow The Leader_.”

“They made you sing _two_ songs?” Dean asked with wide eyes. He felt almost cheated. “Shut up.”

“Well, it makes sense.” Castiel replied, and Dean could sort of see why Gordon called him a robot. It was his stoic demeanor and very matter of fact way of speaking. Dean found it charming. “One song for John and another incase they cast me as something else.”

Dean nodded, it did make sense. “How did you like it?” He found himself asking. “Were you nervous?”

“Yes.” Cas nodded all straightforward and honest, bringing those big blue eyes up to lock on his. “Were you?”

“A little.” Dean decided. “But, I really, really liked it. I mean, my mom calls me a ham all the time and I do like entertaining people, but that was the first time I ever auditioned for anything, you know?”

Cas nods, bright eyes still glued to Dean's, hyper focused on him like he had the answers to everything. It was a little weird, and would definitely take some getting use to, but it also made Dean's stomach feel warm and he liked it. He saw Meg coming back towards their table and the parent helper called out Cole Trenton's name. Dean narrowed his eyes over Cas' shoulder and sneered a bit as he watched the smaller boy get up and follow the adult.

Dean straight up hated Cole Trenton. The guy was a major goon and totally not worth anyone's time; and yet he was practically the class favorite and always managed to get Dean in trouble for something he didn't even do. They've had a pretty intense prank war going on since the third grade, so far no one had come out on top, but Dean knew it'd only be a matter of time before he did.

Trenton was actually the reason he decided to try out for Peter in the first place – besides the fact that it was the Fifth Grade Play and everyone wanted a lead. He'd overhead Cole talking to Gordon about it at lunch the other day and over his dead body was he about to let the likes of _Cole Trenton_ be the lead in their school play.

Cas' brows furrowed as his eyes roamed over Dean's face, he turned to look over the shoulder Dean had been staring at. “What?”

“Yeah,” Meg said as she slid into the seat next to Cas, looking over at Cole Trenton. “What? Why you staring death-rays at Trenton?”

“Because fuck that guy.”

Castiel's eyes went wide at the swear and Meg started laughing. “You're allowed to say that word?” Cas asked so sincerely, it made Dean want to chuckle.

“No.” Dean admitted a little sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck.

“A rebel.” Meg cooed, leaning into Cas and throwing an arm about his shoulders. “I like this one, Clarence.”

Cas didn't roll his eyes at the name, didn't even blink, but it had Dean confused. “Clarence?”

Castiel did roll his eyes then. “It's what she calls me sometimes.”

“He's our own little angel.” Meg replied sarcastically, patting Cas on the head like a puppy, which had the dark haired boy rolling his eyes once again. Dean had a feeling he did a lot of that with Meg around.

He got the reference now, _It's A Wonderful Life_ , his mom watched that movie every Christmas. Clarence was the name of the angel. Dean furrowed his brows as he made the connection.

“But, he already has an angel name.”

Meg looked at Dean with confusion and Castiel looked up at Dean with wide eyes filled with shock and awe.

“You know what what my name means?”

Dean nodded, wasn't it common knowledge? Didn't everyone's parents teach them about folklore and mythology?

“Yeah, you're the Angel of Thursday.” Dean shrugged, feeling the full weight of that too-blue gaze on him. “Or, at least your name is.”

Meg looked at him like he'd just rattled off the equation for solving Pi by memory. “Why do you know that?”

Dean looked between the two of them; Cas with his big blue eyes all wide and endearing and Meg with her scrunched up face all confused. He shrugged.

“My family's really into mythology.”

Cas just continued to look at him all wide-eyed, it was kind of cute. “No one knows what my name means. Most of the time they can't even pronounce it unless I say it out loud first.”

Dean smiled his most charming smile and shrugged, “Well, _I_ know what it means.” He watched Cas blush a little, and even though he wasn't sure why the dark haired boy was blushing, Dean knew that he liked it.

“Barf.” Meg shook her head, disgusted. “Could you two get your cooties away from me please? I'm sick of you being all cute, Winchester.”

Dean rolled his eyes and stuck his tongue out at Meg, but did heave himself up from their lunch table to go back to his. Cas looked sad that he was leaving and Dean almost stayed, but then Cole fucking Trenton was making his way back into the cafeteria and Dean would never pass up any opportunity to glare at the asshole. He stood fully from the table, hardcore glared at Trenton as he passed and slid back into his seat surrounded by all his friends.

No one really commented on the fact that he'd left them, everyone in their grade was basically friends with everyone else – with the obvious exception of Trenton and goons like Gordon Walker – so it wasn't weird that Dean hung around with others. He thought Cas might be a good fit within their group, he was quiet and stoic, but Dean could tell that there was a sarcastic side buried underneath his slight shyness. He _had_ to be if he was friends with a heathen like Meg.

He finished his homework before the end of their allotted after-school activity time – which was great because who wanted to do homework on the weekend? No thanks. They packed up their belongings and got into two lines, one for walkers and another for pick up. Charlie was going on about how excited she was for their upcoming soccer game, but Dean was distracted by Castiel and Meg laughing about something further down the line.

“Hello? Earth to Dean?” Charlie whacked him in the arm, causing him to turn back around and face her.

“What?” He asked as he rubbed the spot on his arm that she'd hit.

“You're not even listening, dude!”

“Sorry, sorry, what's up?”

Charlie rolled her eyes and shook her head, but the smile on her lips meant she wasn't really mad. “I was asking if you wanted to sleepover this weekend. We still need to finish our Star Wars marathon.”

He'd been appalled to learn that his best friend had never seen the Star Wars movies, which was practically a sin in Dean's mind, so last weekend they'd started the marathon that would change her life. In return, Dean promised her that he'd start reading the Harry Potter series so she didn't have to unfriend him. Which, he hadn't quite gotten around to doing just yet.

“Yeah, let me just see where we're going this weekend.”

His parents had been divorced since he was four. It didn't really bother Dean, mostly because he couldn't really remember a time when they weren't separated. His parents were both good people, and they still loved each other dearly apparently, but they were just better off apart they said.

His parents never fought and they didn't have specific days or weekends that belonged to one parent like some of the other divorced kids he knew. Mary and John worked together to pick him and Sammy up from school everyday, worked around schedules and after-school activities.

He might spend tonight at his house, tomorrow at his dad's, and sunday back at his house. Sometimes it was reversed. Sometimes they'd go a week without seeing John because of work and other times he picked them up from school everyday. It wasn't always super structured, but that was their life and that was okay.

Charlie nodded, excited anyway at the prospect of a sleepover. He thought about Cas and how he'd like to have a sleepover with him, or even just a playdate. Maybe if Cas didn't live too far away he could ride his bike to Cas' house and they could hang out. He'd have to ask Cas where he lived.

Ms. McConnell stood at the head of the line with the sign out sheet in her hand, smiling and chatting with parents picking them up. The walkers had been let go first and it wasn't the first time that Dean was jealous they lived so close to the school and got to walk home by themselves everyday. He did manage to catch a glimpse of Castiel's mom waiting on the pick-up line, he knew it was Cas' mom because he'd seen her before and some of his siblings were with her.

He knew Anna more than the older brother Gabriel, who was standing next to Cas' redhead sister with a lollipop in his mouth and a comic book in his hands.

The Novaks all looked a bit different, Anna was a redhead and he wasn't quite sure where that came from, Gabriel favored Cas' dad with his honey hair, as did the baby Alfie standing in between Anna and Cas' mom, holding both their hands. Cas looked more like his mom, with her dark hair and blue eyes. Dean didn't know what his other older brothers looked like and if they looked like Cas or not.

Anna was a year older than them, so she was in Middle School now – which was super awesome. Gabe was like three years above them and was as crazy as he was cool, Dean's heard stories about all the insane pranks he's pulled and the trouble he's managed to get into and out of.

His name and Cas' name are called together and it took Dean a minute to realize that his mom and Sammy had been standing right in front of Cas' family. He turns to see Cas untangling himself from Meg as their parents signed the sign-out sheet that Ms. McConnell has and smiles at him. Cas gives a small smile back, one that really should barely constitute as a smile see as it was just the corners of his lips quirking. But, it was in the eyes, and Cas' eyes were very expressive when it came to Dean.

They walked up the front of the line together, Mary's bright smile and golden hair a comforting sight just as much as the small scowl on First Grader Sammy's face at having to wait in the line.

He turned to see Cas approach his family, Alfie immediately letting go of Anna and making grabby hands at Cas and yelling his name. Dean watched as Cas scooped up the three year old and held him in his arms, the baby wrapping his little arms around Cas' neck.

Dean couldn't stop himself from calling out as they all walked away from the school in the direction of the parking lot. “Cas!”

Castiel stopped and turned, Alfie looking up at the sound of his brother's name and smiled wide at Dean, who smiled back at the baby. Sammy was small like that not too long ago and Dean loved babies. “Yes, Dean?”

Both of their families had stopped and were looking at them now, Dean felt a small flush come over his skin at the attention. He turned on his heel and faced his mom quickly with that pleading look that she knew very well. “Mom, two things. One, Charlie wants to have a sleepover again this weekend so we can finish the Star Wars trilogy. Second, can you set up a playdate with Cas' mom cause I wanna hang out with him.”

Mary started to laugh at her son, shaking her head and looking up at Cas' mom, who was also chuckling. Mary moved forward with her arm outstretched, “Hi, I'm Mary Winchester, and I'm assuming you're Castiel's mom.”

Cas' mom nodded and smiled, taking his mom's hand. “Naomi Novak.”

Dean turned to Cas, who's eyes were wide with shock, Alfie squirming in his arms to be let down. Cas set him down on the ground and watched as the little boy made his way over to Dean and Sammy. Dean dropped down to a squat and smiled at the baby, not being able to stop himself from talking to the boy. Sammy dropped down too with a big smile and Alfie kept giving him high-fives, causing Sammy to giggle uncontrollably.

Cas moved so that he was squatting with them, a hand hovering near Alfie in case he became unsteady. He was a good big brother, Dean could already tell – he knew because _he_ was a good big brother, he could see these things in other people. It only confirmed that he wanted to be better friends with Castiel.

“You want to hang out with me?”

The way he asked all shocked and disbelieving made Dean feel sad. “Uh, of course I do. I asked, didn't I?” He said with his signature toothy grin.

“Okay.” Was all that Cas replied with, looking up at their mothers who were chatting above them like they weren't even there. “I also wish to hang out with Dean.”

Gabriel snorted and Anna elbowed him in the gut. “Ow, jeez Anna, what hell.”

“Language.” Naomi called before returning back to Mary. “Well, looks like we have no choice.” She teased.

Mary smiled and nodded, “I guess we'll be seeing you this weekend then.” She pulled out her cellphone and handed it to Cas' mom to input her number. “Come on, Dean. You'll see Castiel this weekend, I've gotta get you and Sammy fed and then to football.”

The little group stood, Cas grabbing Alfie's hand, Dean nudging Sam in the direction of the car and away from the cute baby who was waving at them. “Bye Cas, I'll call you. Maybe you can come when Charlie is over and we can all watch Star Wars.”

Cas smiled again the same way he'd smiled at Dean early; a small quirk of the lips and a lot in his eyes. “Okay, Dean. I've never seen that movie.”

Dean stared at him aghast and horrified. “Excuse you?”

That caused Cas to laugh and he nodded, “I've never seen it.” He shrugged, “Actually, I haven't seen most movies.”

“Oh, well that's getting fixed asap.” Dean declared, causing their mothers to chuckle at each other. “Don't worry Cas, I'll make it my personal mission to get you up to speed before we get to Middle School and you become a lost cause.”

Cas smiled, a bit more of a real one. “Thank you, Dean.”

They separated after that, moving towards their respective cars. Dean got in and helped buckle in Sammy, smiling the whole time. He couldn't wait for this weekend.

 

* * *

 

Saturday morning Dean woke up excited and ready. His football game the night before had been great, they won and Benny's mom took them out for ice cream afterwards. He had a soccer match today and then Charlie was coming to sleepover after, but he still needed to call Cas to make plans.

Charlie and Cas would definitely get along, Dean already knew they would. He was excited to have them all hang out together. Everyone was sort of friends with each other in Elementary school, it was just the way it was. But, Dean hadn't ever had a chance to really get to _know_ Cas, like the way he knew Charlie or Benny. He wanted to, and the fact that they were all definitely going to be in the play helped make the decision for him.

He slipped out of bed and headed downstairs, his Mom already in the kitchen making breakfast, Sammy sleepy and rubbing his eyes where he leaned against her leg, a thumb in his mouth.

“Hey, honey.” His mother called out with a smile, stirring something in a pan on the stove. “Why don't you take Sammy into the den and watch some tv while I finish breakfast.”

Dean immediately went to grab Sam, second nature and all. Sammy was too big to pick up now, Dean use to hold Sammy all the time as a baby, and sometimes his little brother forgot that he wasn't so little anymore and tried to get Dean to carry him places. Dean did it anyway, mostly through piggybacks, because he was a good big brother.

Sam curled into Dean's side, eyes still sluggishly half-closed, thumb still firmly placed in his mouth. Dad said he was getting a little old to keep sucking his thumb, but Dean didn't care what Sammy did.

“Mom, can you call Cas and make sure he can come to the sleepover tonight?”

Mary smiled down at Dean and ran a hand through his blonde hair. “Sure, honey. Let's eat breakfast and then I'll be sure to give them a call.”

“Thanks, Mom.”

Dean lead Sammy into the den an turned on the tv. Sam leaned against him as they watched Power Rangers and waited for their mom to call them back in for breakfast.

He was already thinking of everything they could do tonight. Star Wars was a must, and Charlie could help him teach Cas about all the cool shows and movies he'd apparently been missing out on. Charlie was good like that. They could make a fort and make funny videos, they could beg mom for popcorn and dress Sammy up in funny clothes. Dean was already imagining how great it would all be.

Mary eventually called them in for breakfast, Dean was antsy as he ate his eggs, and then his mom finally called Cas' mom. He sat and watched Mary put the cellphone up to her ear and address Mrs. Novak on the line, they chuckled and Mary nodded. She informed Cas' mom about the soccer game today and that Charlie would also be spending the night, Mary nodded even though Cas' mom couldn't see it and they chuckled again. When Mary hung up, Dean was waiting with wide eyes.

“Well? Is he coming?”

Mary smirked down and nodded at her oldest's exasperation. “Yes, Dean. He's coming.” Dean smiled wide and went to bound off to get changed for soccer. He couldn't wait to tell Charlie.

Mary packed them up in the car, driving to the field. Dean could already see his dad sitting in the stands, never once missing any of Dean's many games. His dad had been happy when he'd made the football team, he'd smiled even wider when Dean went out for baseball and soccer too. John often said that it was good for Dean to get rid of all that excess energy he seemed to have in abundance, but Dean knew that he was happy because they had things to bond over.

It was hard sometimes not having his dad around all the time.

He saw John a lot, just slightly less than he saw Mary, and he didn't care that they were divorced – being separate for most of his young life. But, he missed waking up and seeing his dad in the kitchen or having the urge to go out and practice one of the many sports he did and not having John there to come and help. His dad was just a call away, but sometimes it just felt too far.

But, John was sitting in the stands, Uncle Bobby beside him, and Kate on his other side. Dean liked Kate, she was soft and kind. Different from his own mom who radiated warmth and an underlying toughness that proved she was not to be messed with. No, his mother was the sun and Kate was the moon.

He was happy that his dad had chosen Kate, it could've been worse, he knew, like Grady Dell's step-dad who was a tough piece of work and yelled at him. Or Stephanie Crane's step-mom who was young and had no interest in her or her siblings. Kate was nice.

He waved frantically at his dad, Kate, and Bobby, who all smiled and waved back, and ran to where his team was huddled. Sammy and his mom made their way over to the stands and Dean sought out Charlie immediately.

“Hey!”

Her long red hair was braided and out of her face and whipped around as she turned. “I brought comic books with me!”

“Cas is sleeping over too.” Dean pulled out his cleats and shin guards and began to put them on, looking up at her.

Charlie's brow furrowed, “Castiel?”

“Yeah.”

“He wants to hang out with us?” She asked confused.

Dean just smiled, “Well, duh. Of course he wants to hang out with us, we're cool.”

Charlie scoffed and looked down at Dean. “Uh, hate to break it to you, but we're not cool.”

“Hey,” Dean said defensively, puffing out his chest as he sat on the grass with his cleats untied. “I'm cool.”

Charlie just laughed and patted Dean's head like the puppy he was. “Sure you are.”

Dean pushed her away by the hips, Charlie just laughing the whole time as she fell down on the grass. “Well, whatever. Cas is coming over and he told me that he doesn't watch tv or movies and is basically hopeless. We have to get him up to date or else he'll be stuck being lame forever.”

Charlie rolled her eyes, “He won't be lame because he doesn't watch tv, Dean. He'll be lame because he's really into science and glares at everyone.”

“He doesn't glare at everyone.” Dean defended. “And you're one to talk, you're really into science too.”

“I never claimed not to be lame, Dean.”

“Shut up. We're helping him.”

“And he does too glare. He stares at everyone all serious and intense, like this.” Charlie then did a striking impression of Castiel. Dean scoffed. “And this is what he looks like when you're talking to him.” Her face barely changed, but he could see the hint of a smile and a lighter look in her eyes.

Dean just rolled his eyes and pushed her again by the shoulders.

“Shut up.”

“Hey, I never said I didn't like the guy. Just saying he glares a lot.”

“I think that's just his face.”

They both laughed and Dean finished tying up his cleats when the whistle blew. They huddled into the group and listened to the coach, but Dean couldn't help but look up into the stands to see his family. Charlie's mom, Kate, his dad, Bobby, his mom, Sammy, and then Castiel, his mom, Anna, Gabriel and the baby, Alfie.

Dean couldn't believe that the Novaks were here, Dean smiled bright and waved up to the stands, hoping to catch Cas' attention. Cas smiled back at him, although it was timid and barely even a smile by Charlie's standards, Dean knew that Cas was happy to see him and waved back.

The game felt like it went by too quickly and so slow that it dragged on forever.

He just wanted his pizza party and his sleepover.

They won, of course, and as soon as they were able, Dean ran with Charlie to the stands where their family was moving to meet them on the grass. Charlie's mom hugged both Charlie and Dean, telling them how great they were. Charlie's mom was a nurse, like Kate, and they even worked the same rotation sometimes. That's why Charlie was over a lot, her mom worked late at night and Mary often tucked both of them into Dean's bed.

Benny was his best friend, but Charlie was his _best_ friend. He would tell her things he'd never tell anyone else, she was like a sister he never got. Dean had a feeling that Cas would make a good _best_ friend too.

John scooped Dean and Charlie up into a large hug, making them laugh and squirm to be released. John put them back down and smiled quietly at them, running his hand through Dean's messy hair and nodding, “You did good, son.”

Dean beamed at him as Bobby clapped him on the shoulder and slipped him a lollipop. It was like Gabriel honed in on that moment and cleared his throat, holding out his hand with large eyes, Sammy imitating him and doing same.

Bobby just rolled his eyes and cursed under his breath, “Aw, hell.” Digging into his coat and pulling out lollipops for all of them.

Cas moved over to where he and Charlie stood, “You did very well. Both of you.”

Charlie just smiled bright, “Thanks, Cas! I'm really excited about our sleepover tonight!”

Cas smiled that little upturn in the corner of his lips. “Me too.”

They all ended up at the pizza parlor, even though Cas was the only one coming over after, the Novaks accepted Mary's invitation to join them. They sat at two tables pushed together and Dean huddled between Cas and Charlie, asking Cas all sorts of questions and teasing Charlie, which just caused both of them to roll their eyes at him.

Huh, maybe introducing them had been a bad idea. Maybe he hadn't thought this one through if they were going to use their powers to gang up on him.

They eventually moved on to the topic of superheros and what powers they'd want and what their costumes would look like. That subject carried over to the house, when they finished their pizza and Charlie's mom and Cas' mom said goodbye and put their sleepover bags in the trunk. They got cosy in the den, Mary making both Dean and Charlie change out of their uniforms and rinse off in the shower while Sammy distracted Cas.

They built their pillow fort and watched Star Wars, and Power Rangers, and X-Men: Evolution. They drew pictures of their superhero costumes and talked about powers until they passed out with the tv on, all cuddled up like puppies in the blankets they'd put on the floor.

Mary had grabbed Sam at one point and put him to bed, returning to check on the others and finding them asleep. She just smiled and turned off the tv and the mini-camping lamp they'd put in the fort to draw, smoothing back the hair from their faces as they continued to sleep.

 

* * *

 

The list went out on Monday morning.

Dean sat in his homeroom with Benny, listening to the morning announcements and making adjustments on the picture he'd drawn Saturday night with Charlie and Cas. The weekend had been _epic_. He'd won both of his games, Charlie and Cas had hit it off instantly, and Cas had stayed over until dinner time on Sunday, watching movies and asking too many questions and sitting much too close to the tv.

Dean knew that Cas was cool, and he knew that he'd easily click with his friends. He asked Cas if he would come sit with him at lunch. It sucked that they didn't have the same homeroom and weren't on line at the same time, but Dean said he'd kick out kids and hold a spot for him. Cas just asked if Meg and Hannah could come too. Dean knew their lunch table was going to be the coolest now, he couldn't wait until middle school where they could be on line together and actually pick their tables.

His head snapped up when Ms. Tracy placed a folder down in front of him and instructed the class not to open them yet. She was still passing them out when Ms. McConnell took over the announcements.

“Good morning everyone! My fifth graders, we're going to announce the cast list for our production of Peter Pan.” Dean could hear hoots and hollers coming from the other classrooms, as well as theirs. Ms. Tracy hushed them with a small smile on her face and continued to pass out the folders. “So, your teachers have given you folders, inside are papers I need your parents to sign, rehearsal schedules and your sheet music. Please hold on to these. Okay, open your folders. Your part is written at the very top, if you don't have a speaking role, you won't have a character name, just a tile; like Mermaid or Pirate.”

Dean quickly opened the folder, his heart beating too fast. There, at the top of the paper – _Peter Pan._

“I'll see you all at rehearsal tomorrow after school in the gym!”

Dean wasn't even listening to the announcements anymore, he was stuck, grinning down at his paper. He couldn't fucking _wait_ to see the look on Trenton's face!

He was going to be Peter Pan.

Lunch couldn't come quickly enough. He felt antsy, he couldn't wait to see all of his friends in recess and talk about the casting. He'd heard in some of his classes who got what, but he wanted to hear it from them. He wanted to talk about the auditions and the play itself. He was dying to find out everything.

Once lunch rolled around, he ended up in the same spot he usually did, squished between Benny and Charlie, Ash and Garth across from them. He kept and eye out for Cas and immediately waved to grab his attention, Meg saw him first and elbowed Cas to get him to turn Dean's way. His brows were furrowed from the not-so-gentle nudge Meg had given him, mouth set into the frown they saw every day, eyes scanning until they landed on Dean. Cas seemed to soften a little once those blue eyes found his and the smile that awaited him. Dean waved Cas and Meg over to sit with them.

“Garth, scoot over.”

Garth sort of did without question most of the time and just scooted down while still talking animatedly with Ash. Meg slid in first, but left room for Cas to sit across from Dean. He could get use to her picking up signals.

Dean didn't really have to acquaint anyone because they all knew each other already, but he did make Cas and Meg promise to come with them on the playground. Hannah trailed by later, seeing that Cas and Meg were seated over at their table and took a seat next to Kevin, and just like that they were merged. Dean felt proud at himself at that.

As soon as they were released on the playground, everyone sort of huddled up to talk about the play and the parts. Balthazar proudly proclaimed that he had gotten the role of Captain Hook and Garth smiled when saying he'd gotten Smee. Charlie had gotten Michael, Lisa was their Wendy, Meg their Tiger Lily, and Bela was their Tink. That made sense, she was snotty in real life too. Benny had gotten the Indian Chief and Cas had gotten exactly who he wanted, John.

Everyone else was split between Lost Boys and Pirates and Mermaids and Fairies. And fucking Cole Trenton was a silent Indian, didn't even get any lines. Dean was rolling around on the inside.

School continued on like that for a while, their lunch table became over crowded, recess was spent in a much bigger group, and after-school rehearsal passed with Dean playing pretend and reading comic books with Cas and Charlie.

The play messed with his football schedule a little, but since a few of the other boys from his team were in the show as well, the coach let it slide. He was basically booked on his weekends, between football and soccer, but he still managed to have a couple sleepovers with Cas.

Christmas came soon, which meant they were on break from school – and from the play.

Dean could admit that he was sad about that. He missed the large group they'd formed and going over lines on the playground, or in the gym once it started to snow. But, with winter break came more free time and no reason to not hangout.

He saw Cas, Charlie and Benny practically everyday over break, and before Christmas he exchanged gifts with them.

Cas had gotten him an old X-Men comic that he'd been searching for that he'd mentioned once like, months ago. It just cemented Cas' place beside him.

With Christmas break over, rehearsals grew lengthier and in abundance with their show just on the horizon in February. Ms. McConnell had let Dean bring in cupcakes for his birthday and Dean made sure that Cas got the one with the blue icing he'd help his mom decorate especially for him because it matched the color of his eyes. They did a pizza party at his house with all their friends that weekend, but Dean still liked his little Peter Pan family singing him happy birthday before they did _I Won't Grow Up_.

When February finally rolled around, they were prepared, but nervous. Everyone was mostly off-book, everyone knew their solo parts in the songs, they all learned the dance breaks. But, the show rested on Dean's shoulders.

He wasn't allowed to feel stupid, Ms. McConnell told him, he had to feel brave and cocky like Peter would.

So, even though the leafy green of his costume brought out the freckles in his cheeks, and it dipped a little low in the front showing off his collarbones which caused the girls to giggle and Cas to blush, he wouldn't feel stupid. Because Peter wouldn't feel stupid. Peter would revel in it, and so would Dean.

They did a performance for the school, technically their dress rehearsal before the show for their parents tonight. Dean's hands were shaking peeking out to look at the whole Elementary school seated on the gymnasium floor, waiting for them as the Principal spoke about being respectful during the show. Cas appeared beside him and slipped his pale hand into Dean's, ceasing the shaking. Dean breathed a little easier now that his best friend was beside him, all silent and strong like a stone.

Dean wasn't quite sure when Cas had transitioned into his best friend, a place that had always been reserved for Charlie and Benny, but he had.

Maybe it was over winter break when they would whisper things to each other as the others slept, or maybe when he'd handed Dean that comic book for Christmas. It could've easily been during rehearsals when they would sit next to each other and laugh quietly as Trenton tried to dance, or at lunch when Cas would share his chicken nuggets and Dean would scoop his mash potatoes onto Cas' plate without question.

Somehow, Cas had slipped his way into Dean's life and Dean absolutely wanted him there. He always knew Cas had potential at being a _best_ friend, he remembered thinking it at that first sleepover they had with Charlie. He just hadn't realized it'd actually happened.

The show started and Dean caught Sammy's face easily towards the front of the crowd with the other First graders and projected there. It was easier once he saw his little brother's bright smile and wide eyes, easy to forget about everyone else and do like Ms. McConnell had said.

There were a few awkward moments, but for the most part the show had run smooth, and when they came out for bows, Dean couldn't help but smile wide. They'd done it.

The parent shows went just as well, maybe even better than the student show. Mary, John, Kate and Bobby sat beside Castiel's family and Charlie's mom, and they all gave a standing ovation during bows.

They were forced to stay onstage in costume for group pictures, posing for all the parents in the audience who whipped out cameras. Once the group shots were taken, everyone split up, running to their families and accepting the flowers and praise they offered.

Dean, Cas, and Charlie had run right up to their parents, letting the wonderful words wash over them with delight. Mary called for Castiel to stand beside Dean and they took pictures with the two of them “in character” and wrapped around each other. Cas looked cute in his striped pajama top and bottom, and Charlie looked like she had a few years ago in the blue onesie and her long hair slicked back into a bun.

They ran offstage after pictures and changed out of their costumes, Ms. McConnell telling each one of them personally how well they did, her rosy cheeks and big eyes all aglow.

Sammy talked his ear off on the ride home, recounting all of his favorite parts and the amazing things they did on stage. He was sandwiched between Cas and Charlie in the backseat, Benny snorting from where he was seated next to Sam, and Dean honestly couldn't think of a better way to end his Fifth grade year.

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 6th Grade

Dean could feel the hair that was tickling his face, but was still too asleep to do more than scrunch his nose in displeasure at the offending strands. He wasn't sure whose hair it was; Charlie's, Cas', Sammy's – could be any of them.

Summer had faded and school had started, so sleepovers were far and few in between, but when they did manage to get everyone together, this happened.

Big puppy piles as his mom liked to call it. All of them sleeping in some ill-crafted pillow fort with too many blankets wrapped around them. He wouldn't deny that it was at least accurate, if not totally mortifying.

Dean turned his head and snuffled into the neck of whoever was next to him. Sleep-warm skin and sweat filled his nose, but he was still too asleep to care who it was.

He missed this, missed their summer adventures and big get togethers. The summer sun had dimmed and the air had begun to get colder, but the freckles on his nose spoke of long, hot days and the bruises still lingering on his slightly tanned skin spoke of free time spent roughhousing with his best friends and too many sports he'd signed up for.

The last large get together they had was for Cas' birthday in September. That wasn't the last time they'd had sleepovers or after school hangouts, but it was the last time they'd all been together like this since summer.

Dean liked his little coven – as Charlie insisted on calling it since she'd started watching Charmed – he liked when they all spent the night and entertained him for hours on end. He missed them when they weren't around.

Summer had been amazing. It had been filled with their flag football team winning first this summer and Charlie's mom's homemade ice-pops; all nighters and movie marathons; bike rides to uncle Bobby's and poolside at Cas' house. It had been the best summer of his life.

It had also opened a wound that Dean didn't even know he'd had.

In July, he had caught his parents talking quietly in the kitchen. He hadn't even known his dad had stopped by and he honestly hadn't meant to eavesdrop, he had just went to turn into the kitchen when he saw them by the sink and quietly slinked back behind the wall, listening.

“I just wanted to tell you first... because, no matter what's happened between us, you've always been my best friend, Mary.”

His dad looked serious and his mom was looking up at him in earnest. She slid her hand easily into his, like they'd done it a million times before. They had, he realized; they had done it a million times before, just not any more.

“So, she's pregnant.”

Dean's heart skipped in his chest at the words. His dad only nodded.

“And you're going down to the courthouse tomorrow.”

“I love her.” His dad spoke, eyes lowered. “It's not just for the baby.”

Mary's hand came up to cradle his face in a move that Dean hadn't seen since before Sam was born, a small smile on her lips. “I know, John.”

John's hand covered Mary's with his own, leaning his face into her palm, eyes closed. “You know that I'll always love you, right?” He whispered.

Mary looked sad, but happy at the same time. Her eyes watered over, but there was that small smile still on her lips. “I know.” She whispered back.

They stood liked that for a few moments until they both pulled away, Mary dabbing at her eyes and her smile brightened. “Do you want the boys to come tomorrow?”

“No.” John wiped a hand over is face and sighed. “No, I want to sit down and tell them when Kate's a little further along, you know? But, next weekend when I take them for dinner I'll let them know that we're married.”

“Don't you think Dean will be pissed off you didn't tell him first?” Mary asked, biting back a smile as she rose an eyebrow.

John snorted and Mary smiled. “Yeah, our stubborn piece of work son will most definitely be pissed off about it, but I'll try and explain it to him when he's older, if he wants.”

Mary leaned in and rubbed John's shoulder. “He'll be fine, John. He'll just bitch about it for a while, but he'll be fine.”

His dad had told them that weekend at dinner that he and Kate had gotten married.

Dean hadn't said anything about what he overheard, not to his dad, not to his mom. He _had_ been pissed that he wasn't invited to the courthouse to watch them get JP-ed, that no one even told him about this to begin with, but he tried not to let it show. He didn't want to live up to his parents' rude expectations of him.

He'd told Cas about it, though.

He'd sat on Cas' bed, angry ranting about how his father was getting married to Kate and how they didn't want to tell him right away and how Kate was apparently pregnant and now there would be a new Winchester who would have all of John's attention.

He hadn't even realized that he'd been crying until Cas had wrapped him up in those skinny arms and let him cry against his shoulder. Dean didn't want someone to take John away from him and Sam. He didn't want his mom to be the old Mrs. Winchester – even if they had been divorced for quite some time.

Cas had just listened and nodded and squeezed Dean tight. Letting him cry and rant and pretend that he hadn't just snotted up Cas' favorite shirt.

That was something he'd learned about Castiel since they became best friends last October; he was a great listener.

A lot of kids thought he was just standoffish, especially the other kids in middle school that hadn't grown up with him. He hardly ever smiled, he _did_ tend to glare a lot, and he didn't totally grasp pop-culture references that were casually thrown around the hallway, making people think he was an alien.

But, boy was Cas a good listener and a good friend.

He always gave Dean solid advice that he would most definitely use for himself if the roles had been reversed, he was laser focused and attentive, he _always_ remembered a birthday or anniversary, and totally gave the best gifts.

He'd been a big help to Dean since he'd accidentally discovered John's secret this summer, always comforting him when it got him down, always there to listen when Dean needed to bitch. Cas was always just... there.

He heard a shudder and click, the noise pulling him from the light in-between sleep he'd been in. The little chuckles really sealed the deal on him waking up. He blinked his eyes open slowly and rolled slightly from the warm neck and shoulder he'd been cuddling into, looking blearily up at where Charlie and Sam were kneeling above him.

Sammy's eyes were still basically closed with sleep, but the smile on his face was big as Charlie looked at the developing polaroid with a laugh. Benny was snoring softly to Dean's right, an arm thrown over his eyes, and Ash was sleeping upside down beside Benny, his pillow resting on Benny's ankles.

“What?” Dean mumbled, moving a hand to rub at his eyes. It had to be an ungodly hour. Fuck, he was so tired.

Charlie's hair was a disaster, all mashed up on one side from the pillow and pieces slipping out of the janky braid she'd taught Cas how to do last night. Her eyes were sleepy too, but she was considerably more awake than everyone else. She placed the camera down and shoved the polaroid in Dean's face, a smirk on her lips as she eyed him.

Dean took the picture and squinted with still-tired eyes to examine it. It was Dean curled up with a passed out Castiel, his face tucked into Cas' neck, his body curled about Cas who was sprawled out on his back. The picture made his face heat up, though he couldn't really say why.

Cas was his best friend, like Charlie and Benny, but sometimes he'd get these hot flashes in his gut when he looked at the kid. Like, when he sometimes looked at Lisa when she smiled. But, Dean knew about his crush on Lisa, he wasn't sure about his maybe crush on Cas.

He rolled his eyes and ignored the annoying smiley faces coming from his brother and Charlie, he just kicked Sam with his blanket tangled feet and plopped back down in their fort-nest beside Cas, picture in hand. He ignored Charlie's giggles and tucked the polaroid into the pillowcase under his head, burrowing into his spot.

It couldn't be late enough for them to wake up yet, it just couldn't. Dean needed to sleep for just a couple more hours before he could function.

Dean fell back asleep for a while, knocked unconscious by the cosy blankets and the heat coming from Cas and Sammy's bodies, that mixed with the fact that they'd basically pulled an all-nighter after devouring their Halloween winnings just spelled crash. He woke later when he felt Cas shift from beside him and his mother's mumbled voice speaking to the others.

Benny grabbed his arm and hauled him awake, pulling him from their nest and into the kitchen. Charlie looked like she'd been up for hours helping his mom with breakfast, Sammy was curled up in his chair next to Jo, who had joined them last night because his mom said Sammy's friends should be invited too, both of them still sleepy and leaning on each other.

Cas was seated across the table from him, already pouring honey onto his pancakes, Ash watching him with interest and ignoring his little cousin who was pawing at him from where she was curled up with Sam.

They were all exhausted and Mary just shook her head at them and smiled as she brought a plate of eggs over and placed it on the table in front of them. Dean noticed his dad leaning against the counter, sipping at his coffee and smirking at them over the rim.

Technically this weekend they were suppose to go over to Kate's house – as Dean was stubbornly still calling the house that she owned and his dad moved into after they got married and didn't invite him – but because it was Halloween he let it slide and went out with Mary to take them trick or treating.

Dean wasn't necessarily surprised to see his dad here this morning, but it _was_ nice to wake up and see him nestled in the kitchen like he belonged there.

He thought that maybe his mom would be sad that Kate and John got married, that she would cry and he'd have to start hating his dad for doing this. But, that didn't happen. Mary looked happy. She looked fine.

He watched his parents interact as Mary stood at the sink, washing out the pan she'd just used and John leaned against the counter beside her as they talked quietly and laughed about something Dean wasn't privy to. They _both_ looked happy. Maybe this really was for the best. He'd have to talk to Cas about it later and see what he thought about this new revelation.

After their very late brunch – that totally bordered on very late lunch – Benny's mom stopped by to collect him. John then deemed it time to clean up and take everyone else home. Charlie was staying again tonight because her mom was on a late shift at the hospital, so she'd be coming to Kate's house with Dean and Sam, John didn't mind and treated Charlie like his other child more often than not.

Ash, Jo, Sam, Cas, Charlie and Dean marched into the den and began to clean up their fort-nest, the piles of candy wrappers and discarded costumes. It didn't take too long with the group of them and in no time everyone was piling into the Impala.

Cas got dropped off first, Naomi waving from the door as a thank you and John beeped his horn in response. Ash and Jo were next, Bobby's house not far from Cas' or Kate's. The two blondes just ran from the car, pushing each other the whole way to the door and John waited until they were inside before leaving.

Kate was at the hospital when they got to the house, her shift not over until dinner, so John let them choose the movies for the next couple hours, checking on dinner here and there.

Kate's house was fine. She'd bought it a few years ago and fixed it up herself, and then when her and John started dating he helped her too. They had their own rooms now that Kate and John officially lived together, gone was the shit apartment that Dean and Sam had to share a futon in.

And, Kate herself was nice. Dean even liked her before this whole marriage/pregnancy debacle.

Well, that wasn't exactly true. He did still like her, he was just mad at them for lying to him.

Kate was kind and quiet, she never over-stepped and always did her best to be there but never smother. He'd known her for years now, she'd been his dad's girlfriend for a long time, it wasn't like she was just some stranger John was trying to make their new _Mommy_. No, Kate was respectful and Dean respected her because of it.

She came home not long after the third movie, Charlie and Sam slowly falling asleep on the loveseat, his dad in the kitchen finishing dinner. Kate slid into the living room, coat on, purse still in hand. She looked tired, and Dean always kept waiting for her stomach to swell and the secret to come out, but she just smiled at him and headed into the kitchen were John and dinner waited.

She changed out of her scrubs and they ate the pot roast John had made in the crock-pot. Kate joined them as they played a couple rounds of charades in the living room before watching the new episodes of X-Men: Evolution before bed.

Charlie slept in the spare bedroom that Dean was sure would become the nursery when they decided to clue everyone else in on the pregnancy.

Kate made them french toast in the morning before work, they watched Sunday cartoons and then John drove them home around lunchtime. Charlie went back to her house and they went home. Mary had sandwiches ready and his dad stayed for one as they all laughed at the kitchen table about something Sam had said.

His dad left after and he and Sam played up in his room for a while, still tired from their sugar-crash on Halloween. Sam was in second grade and liked to read now, but he'd still build lego castles with Dean and set their action figures up in scenes around the palace.

Mary made them promise to clean up all the toys and the boxes they went in before going to bed and Dean rolled his eyes, annoyed at his mom's constant nagging. They _yeah-yeah_ -ed Mary, still building extravagant palaces when she called them down for dinner.

Dean went to his room and did homework after dinner. Most of the teachers didn't assign much on the Halloween weekend, but they were in sixth grade now, so some teacher's gave a few sheets despite the holiday. Sammy came in for help at some point and they sat on his bed going over Math and History for a while.

Dean took a quick shower before bed and Sam took a bath, they bid their mom goodnight where she was downstairs sewing up a costume for Charlie's LARP thing. She kissed them both and sent them to bed.

 

* * *

 

He wasn't sure what time it was, or what had actually woken him up, but he blinked blearily in the dark. His vision was sort of hazy with sleep, but then he realized that it wasn't his vision that was hazy, it was the air in his room.

Smoke was coming from beneath his closed door, and now that his senses had been startled he could smell it. He coughed and waved his hand in front of his face, moving the smoke as he jumped out of bed and ran into the hallway. The smoke was heavy and thick, rolling out from under Sam's door.

Dean quickly ran to get his mother, screaming for her to hurry. Mary rushed out of her room, pushing Dean back as she opened the door to Sam's bedroom. A big billow of smoke came from the room, causing Dean's eyes to sting and shut, his chest filled with smoke. He rubbed at his eyes, leaning against the wall next to his room when he heard his mom's yelp and thud.

He immediately ran into the burning room, his eyes wide as he looked up at the flames covering the far wall and the ceiling. His mom was on the ground, blood running down from a cut on her temple, their lego castles destroyed, the boxes they came in scattered. He ran to her quickly as she pressed the side of her head with her eyes shut, she had tripped over the toys they had promised to pick up and hit her head against the dresser at the foot of Sammy's bed.

“Dean.” Mary rasped, coughing from the heavy plumes of smoke that were coming from the fire on the walls. Uncomfortable heat was pricking at his skin and sweat already drenched his shirt. “Take Sam and get outside, call your father, call 911.”

“Mom, come on, get up.” Dean tried to get under her arm to help her up as they both heard the ceiling being to groan with a frightening sound. “Mom, get up!”

“Dean.” Mary pushed him off and towards the bed where Sam was passed out cold, most likely from smoke inhalation. “Get Sam out of here now!”

Dean looked down at his mother, her pleading blue eyes, the blonde hair matted to her temple with blood, the way the heat of the licking flames made her pale skin bright and rosy.

He moved from her side and scooped Sam up in his arms, maneuvering his little brother so that his arms were dangling off his shoulders and his legs were around Dean's waist. He hefted up the unconscious Sam, moving only at his mother's frantic, _“Go, Dean.”_  and practically ran down the stairs. He grabbed the house phone on the way out and ran into the yard, laying Sammy down on the grass so he could dial.

He called 911 first, because he remembered everything they talked about in school and those two years of Eagle Scouts were drilled into his head.

“911, what's your emergency?”

“My house is on fire.”

Dean was breathing heavy, his chest burning from the smoke and the urge to cough was great, but he moved from the front lawn to see if the fire was contained to just Sammy's room. It wasn't. Flames were shooting from the windows, the sounds of shattering glass was loud, the flames climbing up the outside of the house and onto the roof.

“Okay,” The operator's voice was steady and understanding. “What's your name?”

“Dean.”

“Alright, is anyone still in the house, Dean?”

He nodded even though she couldn't see it, staring at the fire. “My mom.”

“What's your address, Dean?” He rattled off the street address they made him learn in Kindergarten incase he got lost. Never had he thought he'd have to use it for this. “That's good, Dean. The fire department is on their way, is anyone injured?”

He thought back to Mary's pleading eyes and the blood running down her face. “My mom fell and hit her head, she's bleeding. And my brother won't wake up. The fire's in his room.”

“Okay, Dean, first responders will be there shortly.”

“I have to call my dad.” Dean said in a daze, hanging up the phone before the operator could comment and quickly dialing his father's number.

John's gruff voice answered, “Hello? Mary?”

“Dad.”

He wasn't sure why he was crying now, but as soon as he heard John's voice tears just sprang into his eyes.

“Dean? What's wrong.” John's overly concerned voice took over. “Dean, what is it?”

“Dad, you have to come here right now. The house is on fire and mom is still inside.”

“ _What_.”

Dean was crying now, gasping in sobs of air and coughing because his chest hurt from it. “I woke up and there was smoke and mom went in to get Sammy and fell and then made me take Sammy outside and she's still in there. Sammy won't wake up. I called 911, they're coming, but dad you have to come now.”

“Dean. Dean, listen to me.” John's voice was painfully even, like he was doing everything in his power to keep it so. He could hear his dad pulling on clothes as he spoke. “I'm on my way, I'll be there in five minutes. Sit with Sam as far away from the house as you can. You did good, Dean. I'm on my way, alright?”

“Okay.”

Dean listened as his dad got in the car and drove to them, neither of them hanging up. Dean could hear sirens in the distance, coming for them, but Mary had been up there for too long, why wasn't she coming out?

Dean sat by their mail box, Sam in his arms, phone pressed to his ear. John got there before the firetrucks. He left the Impala running, door wide open as he ran over to them, checking Dean and Sam over for injury, listening to Sam's wheezy breathing. He looked panicked as he looked them over and even more panicked as he looked back at the house.

“You're okay?” John asked breathless as he ran a shaky hand through Dean's hair. “We're alright?”

As soon as Dean nodded, wiping away the tears, John nodded back and quickly ran into the house.

Dean felt a scream ripped out of him, as he watched John run in.

The firetrucks pulled up not long after that, an ambulance hot on it's heels. The firemen immediately began to tackle the flames with giant hoses and two kind EMTs began checking over Dean and Sam. They put Sammy in the back of the ambulance and began to give him air, Dean too. But, Dean couldn't stop looking at the front door and waiting to see John.

A few firemen raced into the house and not long after they returned with John and Mary. His dad had his mom cradled in his arms, heavy black soot covered them both. The firemen quickly brought his parents to the other ambulance where the EMTs all but pried Mary from his arms and strapped her in as they prepared to race to the hospital. John stumbled back as they closed the doors, the sirens loud and screeching as the ambulance took off.

He felt one of the nice EMTs put a blanket around his shoulders, it was only then that he realized he was shaking. One of them called over his dad, who was still standing in shock and staring at the place where the ambulance had just been. He looked up at the sound of his name and quickly trotted over to where they sat and pulled Dean into his arms.

Dean was hysterical, unable to control any functions he'd normally have a tight leash on. He gripped his dad's shoulders and sobbed loudly as John ran soothing hands down his back and whispered things into his ear. But, he could hear the break in his dad's voice, feel the tears as they fell onto his neck. His dad wasn't okay, either. None of this was okay.

The EMT attending to Sam called out for them and said they were taking Sam to the hospital for smoke inhalation and that Dean should be checked over more throughly as well. John released Dean into their waiting hands and told him he'd be following right behind in the Impala.

Dean felt dazed.

He held Sammy's hand, even though his little brother was still unconscious. It grounded him, gave him a sort of strength.

He couldn't remember the ride to the hospital or even how they got into the emergency room, but he was sitting on a table bed across from Sam, their curtains open, and a doctor was speaking to him. Dean looked up, brows furrowed. “What?”

“Dean.” The woman spoke with a gentle sternness, shining a light in his eyes. “Are you experiencing any difficulty breathing? Did the flames touch you anywhere?”

“Where's my mom?”

The doctor checked him over, basically ignoring his question and writing something on the clipboard in front of her. “Your father is speaking with her doctor now.”

“Is Sammy alright?”

“Your brother is okay, we have him on an oxygen mask to help with breathing and we've hooked him up to an I.V. He should wake soon.” She looked up, looking over his soot-covered clothes for any sign of a burn. “I'm more concerned about you right now.”

Dean brought a hand up to wipe away the tears he couldn't contain. He just couldn't stop crying. “I'm fine.”

“Does your chest hurt, Dean? Your father recounted the story you told him, he said you were in the room with the fire.”

His chest did burn, but not as bad as Sammy's – who still hadn't woken up. “I'm fine.” He repeated.

The doctor just looked at him for a moment before she wrote something down on her clipboard and pulled an oxygen mask from the side of the bed. “I'm going to put this on you and I want you to lay down. I'll be back to check on you in a little while, okay?”

Dean nodded and accepted the mask from her, laying down a bit on his side so he could stare at Sammy. He could just barely make out his dad in the corner of the room, speaking with a doctor in scrubs.

He didn't remember closing his eyes, but apparently he had, because the next thing he knew, both his dad and Kate were sitting at the end of his bed.

Kate was looking at his and Sam's charts and John was staring down at his soot-covered hands. Kate noticed first that he was awake and came to his side. He appreciated her soothing presence and he felt himself begin to cry as soon as she sat beside him. She carefully gathered him up in her arms and let him cry into her blonde hair and scrubs, running a hand down his back gently.

He fell asleep again in her arms and woke up to Sam looking at him from where he laid on his bed, mask still in place, fear and confusion in his eyes. Dean immediately took off his oxygen mask and slid from his bed and into Sam's. They were still in the ER, which was noisy, but the curtains were drawn so no one could see them. Dean didn't know where John and Kate went or how his mom was doing, but he hugged Sammy to him.

“What's going on?” Sam asked, his voice just slightly muffled by the mask that Dean made sure stayed put.

He wasn't sure how much he should tell him. If the positions were reversed, Dean would want to know, he'd demand it. Still, Sammy was seven. How much about this should he tell a seven year old?

“There was a fire.” He finally let out and Sam's eyes widened. “It's okay.” He soothed. “We all made it out. The fire was in your room, I got you out, but you were already unconscious from the smoke.”

“Where's mom?” Sam's eyes watered and his bottom lip trembled inside the mask. “Where's dad?”

Dean ran a gentle hand down Sam's back, attempting to comfort him out of getting hysterical. “Dad and Kate were here a little while ago before I fell asleep. They're probably talking with mom's doctor.”

He wanted to say, _“Mom is fine, don't worry.”_ but Dean couldn't say for sure if that was true. He didn't know what was going on, if their mom was fine. He didn't really know anything.

“What's wrong with mom?” Sam was crying by this point, big fat tears rolling down his baby face.

Dean hugged him tighter, unable to answer him because Dean didn't know himself. “I don't know.”

They laid like that for a while, until he could hear the soft rumble of his father's voice somewhere outside the curtains that covered them. He couldn't make out what John was saying, though. Dean slid from Sam's embrace and hushed him when he whined.

“I'll be right back, Sammy. I'm just going to get dad.”

Dean got up gently and tucked the covers back around Sam before pushing past the curtain and walking towards the sound of his father's voice. John had washed his hands and changed, no longer covered in black from the fire. He was standing with Kate and another doctor, they all looked serious and grim. It made Dean's heart jump in his chest.

“Dad? Kate?”

The threesome turned to look at him and he was suddenly hyper-aware of the dirty pajamas on his body and the tear tracks lining his cheeks. John reached out for him and Dean slid under his dad's arm and leaned against his side, comforted by the action.

“Hey, kiddo.” John's voice was thick, like he'd been crying. “We were just talking to mom's doctor, here. We were just about to come check in on you and Sammy.”

“Sammy's awake.” Dean said instantly, eyeing John intensely. “How is mom?” He pressed.

The adults looked between each other, but John's eyes never waved from Dean's. Still, Dean knew it couldn't be good. He was eleven, not seven like Sam. He could read their body language. He knew that being in the burning room for so long would mean only bad things for his mom.

“Dean,” John hugged him closer to his body, the hand in his hair gripped a bit. “Let's go sit for a minute while Kate and Doctor Bossier check on Sam.”

John led him over to a row of chairs in the hallway just off of where their curtain rooms were. He could feel the pounding in his chest at his father's very clear lead up to bad news. His palms began to sweat and tears already pricked at his eyes as he sat. He'd never cried this much in his whole life, he was sure Cas would have an answer as to why. Probably anxiety or something, adrenaline maybe.

“She's not okay, is she.”

John wiped a hand over his eyes, dropping his other hand on Dean's neck and squeezing gently.

“She's up in a room, she's okay for now, she's stable. But,” John sighed and looked Dean in the eye. “She took in a lot of smoke, Dean. More than Sammy. She's not going to wake up right now.”

Dean's brows furrowed as tears slipped down from his eyes. “So, she's in a coma?”

“Yes.” John replied gently, his eyes also shiny and wet.

“I want to see her.”

John ran his fingers through the back of Dean's hair and nodded. His hair was still so blonde from summer and a little longer that his mom usually allowed, but he'd asked for it long to go as Han Solo for Halloween. It felt nice to have his dad stroke his hair like that, like how his mom use to when he was little. The thought just made him cry harder. John scooped him up into his arms and held him tightly against his chest.

Small hands appeared at his side, tugging on his blackened pajamas to get his attention. Sammy was standing beside them, mask still firmly in place and the oxygen tank attached to the back of the wheelchair Kate had put him in. The other doctor was nowhere to be seen and Kate looked teary eyed as well.

They all went upstairs to the patient rooms, Sammy would be moved up into one for the night or so, to make sure his lungs hadn't been hardcore damaged from the smoke. Doctor Bossier said they needed to run some more tests and Dean would make sure they did anything for Sam to be alright. Kate lead them down the hallway to the room.

The door was closed and Dean was nervous. Nervous to what he'd find on the other side of the door; would she be black and charred from the fire? Would she just look like she was sleeping?

They all went in, Mary was the only patient in a room meant for two, but Dean appreciated it. She _did_ look like she was sleeping. Like she'd just shut her eyes and would wake up soon.

Her blonde hair was lying about her shoulders, the gash on her temple had been cleaned and sewed up but the bruise looked nasty and dark against her fair skin. She had an oxygen mask on her face and they'd changed her into a hospital gown, but Dean still noticed the mottled red marks that ran up parts of her arms and he realized she must've had a brush with the flames.

Dean sat in the chair beside her bed, almost afraid to move or breath, like it might change something in the air and she'd get worse. So, he sat gingerly beside her and stared.

John was crying.

It was silent, but he was crying. So, was Kate. She had to excuse herself before she began to sob.

Sammy had wheeled up next to him and they both sat staring at their mother lying there in the bed, unmoving. Dean grasped Sam's hand tightly in his own, the contact needed for both of them. They sat in the room for the next two days, sleeping in the unused patient bed next to Mary's.

John had called Bobby that first night to let him in on what happened and asked him to go over and check out the damage to the house, see what could be salvaged. They managed to save the majority of the house apparently, a lot of their stuff was still intact and most of the damaged sustained was to Sammy's room, parts of the upstairs, and the roof.

Mary, however, they couldn't save.

The induced coma had helped, the doctors said. But, the smoke inhalation had decimated her lungs and her body wasn't responding properly to the treatment. It wasn't long after that, that she passed.

 

* * *

 

The ride home from the hospital had been hard.

Mary had passed very early in the morning and it had been a lot of sobbing and blank stares. After, John walked Dean and Sam down to the cafeteria to eat breakfast and they all sat silently, stray tears still falling, as they ate their eggs and pancakes.

It was early still and John decided to bring them to the house to get their things. Kate had looked at him when he told her the plan for the day, but his dad said nothing.

Bobby was already there when they pulled up, his big truck full of things he'd pulled from the house. John and Bobby spoke about storage units and attic space and donations, Dean just stared at the house, one side of it burnt and black, the rest looking fine and normal. But, they'd never be normal again.

They packed up what they could from the house – which was surprisingly a lot – and moved it into Kate's house.

John hadn't asked them what they wanted to do, if they wanted to stay in the house that killed their mother. But, that was fine. Dean didn't ever want to be in there again anyway. And, Kate's house would feel like home eventually.

Right now it felt comfortable, because he had his own room there filled with his own things. It wasn't like the stark hospital room they'd occupied the past three days or an impersonal hotel room.

He just unpacked some of the things out of the many boxes they took from the old house and crawled into bed.

Dean wouldn't speak to anyone for a while, didn't answer the cellphone he'd gotten over the summer, didn't answer the knocks at his bedroom door, nothing. He just laid there and stared at nothing and cried. He wasn't even sure if he was actually sleeping, he was so tired either way that he didn't think it mattered.

His mother was dead.

Sam would crawl into bed with him and they would cry and whisper about mom, and he'd hug Sammy to him tight and mumble fiercely about how none of this was his fault and thank god he was undamaged from the close call. That was pretty much the extent of his social interaction.

John would come up sometimes and sit at the edge of his bed, running fingers through his hair just as he'd always done, not saying a word. He loved when his dad did that, didn't say anything and was just there.

Kate would quietly bring up some food for him and sit, whisper loving things to him while rubbing his hands the way she'd shown him after he'd told her his hands hurt from baseball. It felt good and relaxed him. Those moments made him cry.

About a week had passed since the fire, days since Mary's death, and he could hear Kate making funeral arrangements and speaking with Mary's lawyer, and Dean couldn't take it. He had gotten up, went to the bathroom and sat in the shower for three hours.

John had knocked at some point and asked if Dean was alright, but no one had forced him out from beneath the scalding spray. He sat with his knees to his chest, crying.

He'd crawled back into bed after that, waiting for something and nothing all at the same time. He felt restless and tired. He felt like he was coming out of his skin. He felt like crying.

It was the middle of the night, he knew that, but it didn't stop him from grabbing the phone he'd been ignoring for days and moving past all the messages and missed calls to hit Cas' number. The ringing in his ear sounded too loud, and he was afraid Cas might not answer at this time of night. But, he did and as soon as Dean heard the rough voice of his best friend, he began to cry.

“Dean?”

Cas sounded frantic almost, his voice still heavy with sleep, but he was clearly on high alert.

“Cas.” Dean choked out, silently crying on his end and hoping Cas couldn't hear it.

“Dean, are you alright? I've been worried, but I didn't want to over step. Charlie hasn't stopped talking about how you haven't answered your phone, I just figured you needed some space. But, what's going on? Are you okay?”

“Cas.” Dean said his name so brokenly, around hiccups and tears. “My mom is dead.”

“Dean.” Cas whispered, like if he could reach through the phone and stroke every freckle on his nose, he would. “I'm sorry.”

“I just...” Dean trailed off, gathering his thoughts and trying to breath around his sobs. “Everything's just _wrong_. We packed up the house and we're at Kate's now, and it's fine. It just... I miss her and she's dead and it doesn't even feel like she's dead, and I feel like I can't _breathe_.”

He sobbed a bit into the cellphone pressed tightly against the side of his face, his chest burning with the effort to keep quiet and his face hot and red from the tears.

“Listen, I know it won't feel like it now, and I know you're going to want to punch me in the face for even suggesting it, but, Dean, everything is going to be okay.”

Cas was right, Dean _did_ feel like he wanted to punch Cas in the face for even _suggesting_ such a thing, the anger welling up inside of him quickly but Cas cut him off.

“Not right now. But, eventually. Eventually things are going to even out and it's going to be all right. You're not going to feel like this forever, Dean. But, for right now, things are going to be terrible and I'm so _sorry_ that you have to go through this.”

Dean just cried and Cas just listened as he wiped his eyes and coughed a bit. “I just wish you were here right now.” He whispered, curling in on himself and closing his eyes to stave off the tears.

“I know, Dean. Me too.”

And so, about week had passed since the fire and it had been just days since Mary's death, and Cas had finally broken the social propriety that kept him away because Dean called him last night sobbing and told him everything that he probably already knew. There was a knock at the door the next day and his dad said Cas was at the door with a bag of Dean's schoolwork and and a pie Gabriel had baked.

Dean had told John to let him in.

“Hey.” Cas said from the doorway, with his dorky backpack clipped in the front and a pie in his hands. His blue eyes were big and sad as he took Dean in, but there was no pity there, just that wounded hurt and comfort look that Cas usually gave to poor animals. “Can I come in?”

Dean nodded scooting over on his bed as Cas shut his door and shucked his backpack, placing the pie on the desk. He sat on the bed next to Dean, looking at him with those annoyingly blue eyes. “Thanks.” Dean mumbled, but he wasn't sure what he was thanking Cas for exactly.

“Are you okay, Dean?” Cas all but whispered. Taking in the heavy circles under his eyes and the redness in them, the pallid color of his skin and the way his freckles stood out because of it.

“I don't know.”

He started to cry after that and told Cas everything – from the shortage in the nightlight that caused the fire, to saving Sammy but not his mom, to waking up in the hospital, to John and Kate, to watching her die and packing up the house. He told Cas that he'd barely eaten in days and slept even less, that he was just _so tired_ but sleep didn't seem to fix that.

Cas ended up curled tight around a broken Dean, soothing his best friend as the worst thing imaginable happened to him. He rubbed his back and ran fingers through his hair and whispered russian prayers in his ear – Dean seemed to like that especially.

Cas stayed by his side the entire weekend, they managed to work their way through most of the make-up work just to take Dean's mind off everything, and watched a lot of movies ranging from the terrible to comfort.

They watched Star Wars a lot, mostly so Dean could mumble Han's lines in between mouthfuls of popcorn. That was basically all that he'd eaten in days, besides Gabe's pie. Cas had tried to get him to eat some of the food Kate brought up, but he'd just pick around it until John brought up more popcorn.

Dean would cry a lot, too. Suddenly, and without much explanation. Though, not much explanation was actually needed.

Cas ended up spooned around him more often than not, reciting grocery lists and Leia's lines and whatever else he could think of in the second language he'd grown up speaking, murmuring it right into Dean's ear and feeling him relax into sleep. Cas wasn't entirely sure what about it soothed Dean, but ever since he'd found out Cas was bi-lingual, he'd begged Cas to speak to him in accented tongues.

Russian made him calm, Enochian made him cry.

Cas only realized too late that Mary's family had been big into ancient angel lore, like the kind his father studied at the college he worked at. Cas had grown up with his father teaching them Enochian phrases, but so had Dean.

Cas stuck to Russian after that.

It was really hard for Dean to let Cas leave on Sunday night.

They had watched the whole Star Wars trilogy, the Princess Bride, and all three Indiana Jones movies multiple times, cuddled and whispered, finished his homework, and sorted through some of the boxes that were stacked in the corner of his room. The few days that Cas had been by his side, Dean had felt a bit more okay. His world was still rocked, his emotions were fragile and all over the place, but he felt just a little more okay than he'd been.

It was so hard to let that go, so hard that he embarrassingly clung to Cas' hand and started to cry in front of his remaining family when Cas tried to leave.

They'd walked down the stairs like it was the last time they were going to see each other. It was the first time that Dean had left his room since they came back from the hospital with the exception to shower and he felt awkward being around everyone else like this.

His dad was waiting by the door, ready to drive Cas home, Kate was standing in the doorway of the kitchen with Sam, a bag of cookies in hand for him to bring home to Gabriel as a thank you for the pie.

He wasn't sure when he and Cas had started holding hands, if they had left his room like that or if Cas had slipped it into his when they reached his dad at the front door and he started shaking at the prospect of Cas leaving him. He started sobbing again, holding Cas' hand like a vice, shaking and muttering for him not to leave. It was embarrassing and stupid and normal-Dean would never act like this. But, normal-Dean's mom didn't just die and normal-Dean didn't feel like everything was _wrong_.

Cas simply wrapped his skinny arms around Dean's frame and hugged him tight enough that Dean could feel his heartbeat pounding in his ears. John said nothing about his son's very obvious anxiety attack and offered to call Castiel's parents to tell them he'd drive Cas to school tomorrow. Dean nearly broke down again when Cas just muttered a quiet, “Yes, please.”

Cas lead Dean back up to his room while John called his mother, Dean was still crying and shaking from the mild anxiety attack he'd just suffered but Cas said nothing as he crawled back into Dean's bed and put on the Princess Bride. Dean pressed his face into Cas' neck, trying to slow down his crying and the rapid heart beat in his ears, his arms wrapped tight around his best friend's middle.

They stayed like that for the rest of the night.

 

* * *

 

The funeral was hard, on Sammy especially, and Cas stayed beside them the entire time.

Mary was cremated – which Dean thought was just a little ironic considering she died because of a fire, but he kept those thoughts to himself – so there wasn't an actual _funeral_ per se. It was more of a service, her urn and ashes on display with a portrait of her beautiful smiling face beside it, while everyone listened to all the different spiritual leaders in their town talk about life after death.

His mother wasn't a one-religion type of woman, she believed in everything, so Kate had thought it fitting to have someone from all faiths come and speak on Mary's behalf. Dean thought it was kind.

There were a lot of people at the service, more than he had expected. But, his mother was kind and out going, of course there would be people there to honor her and miss her along side of them.

A lot of his friends came too. Bobby, Ellen, Ash and Jo, of course. Charlie and her mom. All the Novaks. Benny's family. Practically their whole fifth grade class was in the back row with their families, and even some old teachers. His old sports coaches and the Librarian that always reserved books for Sam, and all the guys from Bobby's garage, and the regular patrons at the Roadhouse.

They were all there, for them.

Dean was more put together at the service than he'd been since the fire. Maybe because more people were around and he wasn't alone, maybe at this point he'd cried all he could and now he was just numb.

His large group of friends pulled him and Sam out of the room after the last speech was made and people were meandering around and talking about how wonderful of a woman Mary Campbell Winchester was. Benny had hauled Dean up off the bench, his hand instantly finding Cas' waiting one, and let Benny lead him outside where everyone else stood. It was bright out, a perfectly even temperature for a november day. It was mocking, almost.

But, there they all stood. Charlie, Ash, Lisa, Balthazar, Cassie, Garth, Meg, Hannah, Kevin, Jo, Bela, Victor, Crowley; some were new friends just acquired from their time in middle school – like Tessa, Donna, Gilda and Dorothy – and some they'd known since kindergarten. But, there they all stood, waiting, timid smiles on their lips and sad eyes.

Jo immediately broke from the line and ran to wrap Sam up in her skinny arms and that sort of triggered everyone else to move. Cas' hand was still in his, Benny and Charlie were still at his other side, but suddenly the rest of the group was around him, huddling, hugging. And, Dean was crying. Silently this time, not like the broken sobs Cas had been listening to for days, but just as heartbreaking.

After the funeral service was over and his amazing group of friends were gone, they went back home and Dean felt like he couldn't stand to be at the house anymore. He begged his dad to let him spent the weekend at Castiel's.

It wasn't hard for John to say yes, but he saw the toll this was taking on his son and if his best friend was what kept him together, than fine. The weekend turned into all of Thanksgiving break, except for the actual Thanksgiving which he spent with John and Kate.

When John dropped them off at the Novak's, Naomi stood in the doorway as she always did to wave at John, except this time she came down the walk and leaned into the window to hug John. It was unlike her, but Dean couldn't help but not feel shocked by the gesture. She had reassured John that whatever they needed, the whole Novak family would be there.

They walked inside and Naomi pulled him aside for a moment, leveling with him. He was tall for his age, always had been, but she stooped down to his height to make sure her words were taken as seriously as they were meant.

“Dean.” Naomi said in her sort of serious, almost clipped manner. He could tell that this was important to her, even though it was hard considering how put together she normally was. “I just want you to know, that I understand how hard this is and that, while I can never match or replace your mother, I hope you know that you'll always have a place here in my home and with me. Okay?”

There was a shiny quality to her blue eyes that spoke of unshed tears and buried memories. Dean nodded, wiping at his own eyes at her words. “Thanks, Mrs. Novak.”

She rubbed a smoothing thumb across the freckles under his eyes and stood, leaving him to find Cas once again. Once they were up in his room, cuddled beneath his comforter and watching Buffy reruns did Dean ask about Naomi and her possible loss.

“Yes, Dean.” Cas had said, eyes trained on the major stare-fest happening between Buffy and Angel. “Her parents died in a car accident when she was fifteen.”

So, Naomi really did understand. He appreciated her gesture and her words, mostly he appreciated her son.

Dean and Sam went back to school in December, after Mary's birthday.

John had made the executive decision to keep them home after Thanksgiving break had ended and wait until after their mother's birthday had passed. They went to the cemetery where her ashes rest and laid flowers, they went to Mary's favorite diner and ordered her favorite foods and pies and sipped on rootbeer floats – even though all three of them hated rootbeer. Afterwards, they went home and sat in the living room and watched the Wizard of Oz and followed it up with Reservoir Dogs, because those were her favorite movies. It pretty much summed up Mary Campbell-Winchester in a nutshell.

All of their friends were supportive and helpful once they got back to school; Charlie, Ash, and Kevin helped him get caught up on everything, Benny was good at making everything feel normal which he appreciated, and Meg and Jo were the easiest to talk to about the situation seeing as they'd both lost parents.

He still clung to Cas, though. He sat next to Cas, talked to Cas, leaned on Cas. And Cas was always there.

Until one day, he wasn't.

He hadn't shown up to school and wasn't answering his texts. Dean let it slide for the day, he was probably sick. But, then it was time for bed and Cas still hadn't answered his phone, not even when he called, which was very strange. Ever since Dean had called that first night the after Mary's death, Cas _always_ answered when he called.

He wasn't in school the next day either, and then Dean all but had a meltdown. He cut school early and rode his bike over to Cas' house, there was a million Novaks, there was bound to be one at home. Cas' dad opened the door, he was a nice guy, a little absent minded, but nice.

“Dean.” He smiled, wiping his glasses on the front of his shirt. “What can I do you for?”

The fact that Mr. Novak didn't even really address the fact that Dean was out of school mid-day or the fact that his bike lay only a few feet away didn't phase him – hello, absent-minded – and he plowed on in his near-panic attack.

“Is Cas here?”

“No, Castiel is down at the hospital.” Dean almost stopped breathing. “He woke up the night before last with terrible stomach pain. He's just had an emergency appendectomy, I believe. Naomi and the children are down there with him as we speak.”

Dean barely said goodbye before he picked up his bike and rushed to Bobby's. It was the closest house that had a family member to where he was now and he knew that Bobby would bring him downtown. He banged on the door twice before barreling in, calling out for Bobby. He found him in the living room looking through old books in odd languages. He looked shocked to see Dean, which made sense, but Dean just started talking before Bobby could question him.

“Cas is in the hospital and I need you to take me there now.”

His voice was quivering and shaking and his eyes were bugged out and pleading. Bobby shook his head as though that would clear it.

“What?” He asked.

“Cas hasn't been in school or answering his phone and he _always_ answers when I call, so I got worried and rode my bike to his house. His dad told me that he's in the hospital and I need you to take me there now.”

Bobby just sighed and cursed under his breath before hauling himself up from the chair and nodding towards the door, Dean ran out to his car and got in. Bobby followed him out, cell pressed against his ear as he trekked over to the car.

“Hey John, it's Bobby. I got Dean here, he left school to check on Cas and it turns out that Cas is in the hospital so I'm gonna take him over there.” There was silence on the other line and Dean could hear his dad sighing before the warbled mumbling started. “Of course I'll wait with him, you idgit. I am his godfather.” Bobby hung up after that. “John's meeting us there, he said to try and find either Kate or Charlie's mom.”

He paged Kate when they got there, waiting for her at the reception desk. She looked hurried and concerned, and just slightly more pregnant. They still hadn't told him and Sam, but Dean was starting to see it now.

“Dean.” She asked, winded slightly from her jog. She came forward, touching his face and arms, looking him over for injury. “Are you okay? What happened, what's the matter?”

“Kate, Kate.” He grabbed her arms, “ _I'm_ fine. It's Cas, he's here.”

Kate deflated a little, the anxious worry over finding him in a hospital bled out of her body. “Does your dad know that you're here?”

“I called him.” Bobby answered. “He said he'd meet us here, but to let him see Castiel.”

Kate gave them both stern looks before asking reception to look up the room number of Castiel Novak. She wrote it down on his visitors badge, looking Dean purposefully in the eyes before handing it over and making him promise to be home for dinner. Dean nodded and swiped the badge before sprinting towards the elevators, Bobby would catch up.

He saw Gabriel and Anna sitting beside each other outside the room when he got off the elevator, Alfie sat on Anna's lap playing with her phone. He rushed over to them, startling them both.

“How is he? Is he okay? Can I go in and see him?”

“Dean?” Gabe asked, confused. “Shouldn't you be in school?”

Anna deposited Alfie in Gabe's lap, standing and pulling the shaky Dean into a fierce hug. “It's okay. He's okay.” She soothed, and Dean felt himself relax in her arms. Anna had that way with people. “It was just an appendectomy, he's fine.”

Dean gripped her a bit tighter as he let out a shuddering breath at the words. He'd been so worried. He'd just lost his mom, there was no way he'd be able to survive losing Cas too. Anna seemed to realize that and had chosen her words carefully, and hadn't released her hold on him yet.

Naomi came out of the room and saw them, “Dean? What're you doing here?”

Dean broke from Anna's hold and faced Naomi. “Cas wasn't in school or answering his phone and I was worried, so I skipped school to bike over to your house. Mr. Novak told me he was down here, so I had my uncle Bobby drive me over. I just really need to see him.”

Naomi gave him a hard look before nodding and ushering Dean inside the room, he went quickly as though she'd change her mind. Cas waved from where he was tucked into the hospital bed, eyes all drowsy. Dean felt the stinging in his nose and the blurriness of his eyes, seeing him in the bed at first brought back memories of seeing his mother in that bed. He went to stand beside the bed and hopped up onto it when Cas patted beside him.

“I was so scared, Cas.” Dean all but whispered, furiously wiping away at the tears that continued to spill. “You weren't answering your phone and then I went to your house and your dad told me that you were hear and I was just so scared.”

“I know, Dean.” Cas grabbed his hand and held on to it tightly. “I'm sorry for scaring you. But, I'm okay now, see? Just an appendectomy, those are routine. Didn't even hurt.” His speech was slurred a bit because of the medication, his eyes were partially closed and there was a small smile on his lips that wouldn't disperse. “Your eyes are like... _so_ green, Dean. They're like that book about Ireland we had to read for that project. You have Ireland eyes.”

Dean snorted out a laugh and wiped away the last of his tears. It was funny to see Cas all loopy, normally Cas was like a standoffish cat; he didn't understand personal space and didn't care. Sometimes he was playful and he was always affectionate with Dean, but his humor was more dry and sarcastic and his pop-culture knowledge was seriously lacking. But while under the influence of painkillers, Cas was a whole different breed.

“Thanks, Cas.”

“Thank you for coming, Dean. I was worried about you.”

“Worried about me?” He couldn't help but ask with furrowed brows.

“Yes. I know practically abandoning you would've set you off. I was worried about you emotionally. I know this must be hard.”

Dean just wiped his eyes and held Cas' hand. “It's fine now.”

They spent most of Christmas break holed up in Cas' bedroom, watching movies and eating junk food, because Cas was ordered to take it easy for a while by the doctors. Dean had only been grounded for a weekend for leaving school mid-day and biking across town, but that didn't effect their break. Dean went home for Christmas eve and day, but he spent New Years over at the Novaks and Sam came too.

Then, his birthday came around.

Dean's twelfth birthday was spent in the E.R., and he was really starting to hate hospitals at this point.

Sammy had slid on a patch of ice and broken his arm. He cried about how he'd ruined Dean's birthday, their first one without mom, but Dean had hugged him tight and threaded a hand in the back of his shaggy hair and whispered about how there was no place he'd rather be than with Sammy, so it didn't matter where they were. Which, was true.

John picked up food from Dean's favorite burger place for dinner after Sam was released and they watched whatever movies Dean wanted. Cas came over the next day with pies and presents and the day after Dean's birthday was spent with the two people he cared about more than anyone eating homemade pie and watching his brand new Star Wars box-set courtesy of Cas.

There was a party once everyone was free and available, Charlie and Benny had teamed up to wrangle everyone together at the diner for Dean's birthday. It was nice and they laughed a lot – and totally drank too many milkshakes. A few parents sat booths over, talking and eating as they let their kids have fun.

It was one of the best birthdays Dean could have wished for. Even if he felt his chest ache at his mom not being there.

A couple months went by without incident and then another change occurred. Adam was born.

John and Kate had officially told them after Dean's birthday and Dean had rolled his eyes and said, “Yeah, I know.” Even if he hadn't heard his dad all those months ago, Kate was six months pregnant by that point. Dean wasn't oblivious.

Kate had been worried at how they would react and Dean had just hugged her and then dropped to his knees to hug her stomach. Kate cried and Dean whispered to the baby that he was the best brother and not to let Sammy try and tell it lies. Sam had of course pushed Dean out of the way to tell the baby that _he'd_ be the best brother and Dean was full of shit.

They sat there on the carpet, in front of Kate's belly, wrestling each other over who would be the better brother to the unborn baby.

Kate didn't worry after that.

They didn't know whether the baby would be a boy or a girl, Kate had wanted it to be a surprise since it was her first child.

Sometimes Dean felt bad for Kate, she'd fallen in love with a man who already had a family and was thrust into it as they were attempting to build one of their own. He'd voiced it once to her, and she had shushed him with a big hug and a motherly kiss and muttered with conviction, “I may not be your mother, but you two are my children.” He never again felt bad about it after that.

Bobby had picked them up from school on a Tuesday, they spent the night at his house – which, was always fun to sleep at Bobby's because he had the coolest collection of the odd things – and brought them to the hospital the next day to meet their new brother.

John looked tired, but happy when he met them at the door to her room. Kate looked even more exhausted, and even more glowing as she held the small bundle in her arms. She beckoned them over and told them his name was Adam. Kate worked at the hospital so there were a lot of people in and out as well as balloons and flowers gifted from the staff.

Baby Adam went home a few days later and then their little family had grown a bit more. Dean and Sam become very attached to Adam, they fought each other to hold him all the time, race to get his firsts before the other.

Adam's first word, after the standard _Mama_ and _Dada_ was Dee. He yelled Dee all the time and would cry unless Dean picked him up. Sammy got him to take his first steps though, and he always ran straight into Sammy's arms.

They were happy.

Thing were hard sometimes, Dean and Sam still cried for their mom, for all that they'd lost. But, overall, they were happy. John was around, Kate was around, Adam was theirs, Castiel and Charlie and Benny and Ash and the rest were always present.

Sixth Grade had been a lot of things, but Dean felt stronger because of it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TELL ME THE THINGS.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 7th - 11th Grade

_7th Grade_

Dean slunk into Cas's room silently after soccer practice, skirting around the seriously oppressive silence that was radiating from the kitchen where Lucifer and some chick stood staring at each other.

That wasn't a dramatization either. They were literally standing across the island counter from each other, silently staring.

Lucifer was one of Castiel's older brothers, Dean didn't see much of them because of the large age difference, he mostly just saw Gabe, Anna and Aflie. He'd been around them briefly a few times, Michael less so seeing as he was off at college this year. 

Lucifer was a senior this year; snarky and dry, but Dean could see the sort of heavy emotion that clung to him beneath the sass. There was something almost dangerous about Lucifer and Michael, but Dean was never quite able to figure out what that was exactly. 

“Hey.” He closed Cas's door behind him, dumping his soccer bag on the floor and sat down on the edge of his bed. “What's with the war-zone down there?” 

Cas sighed and rolled his eyes as he closed the book he'd been reading for Seventh grade English. “They're extremely dramatic.”

 “Well, it is Lucifer, so...” 

“Yes, but I feel like it's more Lilith than my brother. She's retched.” 

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on here.” Dean held up a hand to halt all speaking. “Your brother is dating a girl named Lilith?” He snorted, “Lucifer and Lilith. _Luci_ and _Lili_. Come on, it's a little funny.”

Cas rolled his eyes again, this time at Dean. “If you say so.” 

“Why is she retched?” Dean asked, moving himself into a comfortable position across Cas' bed, his body sore and tired from practice earlier.

Cas shrugged, fingering the pages of the book as he thought of a way to explain it to Dean. “She's just... manipulative and obsessive. She like, jumped through hoops to be with my brother, granted he set the terms for their relationship, but still it's like scary how much she's into him, y'know?”

“So, why are they fighting right now?” Dean found himself asking as he thought about the two teenagers downstairs not talking.

“Because Lilith caught Lucifer staring at Eve again.”

“Who's Eve?” He realized that his voice had gone up into that gossipy register that Bela and Lisa's got when something scandalous happened.

“The girl my brother really wants to be with.”

“This is so dramatic.” Dean gushed, totally enraptured by the drama. “Why isn't he with her then? _I need to know_.”

Cas chuckled a little at Dean's response to his brother's gossip. Dean would try and deny it, but he really did love a good story as much as the next person. His unrivaled interest in Doctor Sexy was more than enough evidence to that fact.

“Luci is... complicated.” Cas phrased it delicately, because while his brother was more often than not an asshole with an attitude problem, he still loved him. “Him and Michael fight a lot and Dad puts a lot of strain on him to follow in his and Michael's footsteps. He comes across smirky and devil-may-care, but he isn't. He's got a lot of feelings and a lot of baggage packed up in that sarcastic package. Eve is just... _nice_ and Lucifer isn't.”

It seemed so sad when laid out simply like that. Dean almost felt bad for the guy.

“Did he like, even try with this Eve chick? Or, did she shoot him down?”

“No.” Cas shook his head. “He knows she'll say no, so he hasn't even bothered. He's decided to stick it out with the easy option – Lilith – which is annoying and exhausting." 

“Wow, your family has a lot of drama.” Dean had moved on to the napping phase of the conversation, eyes closed, arms slung over his face as he listened to Cas who sat beside him.

Cas only nodded ruefully, even though Dean was no longer watching. “Yeah, pretty much.”

 

* * *

 

 “What are you doing?” Cas slurred, voice still wrecked from just waking up, wiping tiredly at his eyes.

Dean looked over his shoulder at Cas from where he was sitting by the window, looking down at the backyard. “I got up to pee and when I came back in, I saw your brother outside with a girl. I've been watching them ever since.” 

“What?” Cas launched himself from the bed and slid down next to Dean at the window.

Lucifer sat on the bench under the tree, shoulders all haunched and body bent slightly forward. A girl with hair just this side of strawberry sat beside him, angled toward him and nodding along to whatever he was saying.

“Who is that?” He whispered into the dark room. There was no need to whisper, the two below them couldn't hear anyway, but it felt right.

 “Eve.” Cas muttered, looking down at the scene below with furrowed brows.

“That's Eve?”

Dean's voice rose and snapped back to look down at the pair. When Cas was explaining it all earlier in the day, Dean hadn't really thought about what the other girl looked like, but seeing her now seated beside Cas' older brother, she _did_ look nice and way out of Lucifer's league.

The girl, Eve, was pretty. Definitely different from Lilith – who had been too thin and very blonde with sharp blue eyes and a predatory smile. Eve was tall, with honey colored hair tinged with enough red that Dean might consider her strawberry, and skin so pale that the moon reflected off of it. She seemed nice, different from how he thought she'd be, and definitely too pure for someone like Lucifer.

They watched as Lucifer said something that had her leaning towards him, putting a hand on his shoulder to grasp his attention. He looked up, meeting her gaze. Neither of the older teens said anything for a few moments, they just stared at each other. Dean held his breath. Then, they both began leaning in and soon their lips met.

The kiss was sweet and soft and lasted only a handful of seconds before they pulled back and looked at each other once more. The look Lucifer gave her was full of conflicting emotions that neither of the boys could name, but at the same time the look was tender and warm. Dean felt like he was intruding on something very private, like this was a part of Lucifer's tarnished soul on full display as he took in the girl beside him. Because he was giving himself over to her, even the parts of himself that he hated. The moment was heavy.

Eve leaned in slowly, giving Lucifer time to back away if he wished, and gently brought her lips back to his, moving even closer to him. It seemed to spurn him into action, and he gripped her tightly in his arms, like he was afraid she would fly away. She seemed to melt into the embrace and soon their gentle kissing began to grow more frantic and Dean had to look away before the heated blush his face was now sporting radiated any further.

Cas looked enraptured by the sight, his big blue eyes wide focused as he took in the display. Dean tugged on his shirt, catching his attention. “Come on, Cas. Let's go back to bed.”

Cas looked at Dean for a moment before returning his gaze back to where his older brother was giving his soul to the girl before him. After a few moments, Cas turned from the window and followed Dean back to bed. They were quiet, not sleeping and yet not speaking either. After a beat, Cas rolled from where he lay on his back to face Dean.

“Do you think he loves her?” Cas whispered gently, eyes wide and ernest. “It felt like he loves her.”

Dean curled his legs up to his chest as he stared into Cas' eyes, shrugging. “Maybe. It certainly felt like something.”

Cas played with the sleeves of his long-sleeved sleep shirt, eyes darting down away from Dean's. Not in a nervous way, more in a distracted one. “Do you think we'll ever be like that?” 

“Like what?”

“Look at someone like they hold the key to salvation.”

Dean looked back at Cas, those blue eyes almost glowing in the twilight, and he felt his heart beat a little faster in his chest. “I don't even know what that means.” He whispered.

Cas shrugged, “Neither do I.” 

“Then why are you afraid of it?” He asked.

“I'm not.”

They fell asleep not long after that, staring into each other's eyes and thinking about the intimate moment they'd witnessed prior and all that it could mean.

 

* * *

_8th Grade_

The eighth grade dance was coming up and it was stupid, Dean had decided.

 Who really wanted to spend a few hours in a poorly decorated gym, dressed all “nice” and dance to shit music? Apparently everyone in his class.

Everyone was paring off like Noah's freaking Arc, smiling shyly at each other from across the hallway, talking excitedly any chance they got, even Charlie was involved! Dean just couldn't bring himself to care.

He stood at his locker, grabbing books and notebooks, shoving the things he needed into his backpack without real care. He was in the middle of running over his class schedule in his head and deciding if he needed his history notes when he felt a body beside him. “Hey, Cas.”

“Dean.” Cas responded in greeting.

He pulled out the last of his crap and turned to face his best friend. Cas was surveying the loud hallway around them with intense blue eyes, dark hair all unruly as it swept across his forehead. “What's up, Cas?”

Castiel looked at him, those blue eyes intent on him and Dean suppressed a shiver. “The dance is friday.”

“Yeah.” Dean heaved a sigh and rolled his eyes, closing his locker and leaning back against it beside Cas. “So what?”

“I don't have a date.”

“I'm sure Hannah would jump at the chance to go with you.” Dean said distractedly as he fought with the zipper on his faded backpack.

Cas sighed, “I don't want to go with her. She's not really my type.” He looked down and toyed the edges of the long sleeve shirt he was wearing. “Besides, she's liked me for so long, it'd feel wrong to lead her on now when I have no intention of following through.”

“Who's Meg going with?”

“Some guy, I don't know his name.”

Dean snorted, “Well, that's not shocking. You barely know anyone's name.”

Castiel narrowed his eyes, “I know people's names.”

Dean sighed and looked back at the crowded hallway before them. “Too bad we didn't think about going as a big group before everyone went and got dates.”

“Are you still going with Lisa?”

He looked over to see Cas staring down the hallway where Balthazar was currently making out with some girl. He shrugged, even though Cas wasn't watching.

“Yeah. She asked, I said yes. I mean, I like Lisa, so that's whatever. I just hate this whole “dance” thing, why can't we all just celebrate moving on by going to someone's house and watching movies and getting drunk? Why do I have to dress fancy and dance to shit music in a sweaty gym for three hours?”

“It seems you feel quite passionately about this, Dean.” Cas turned away from the Balthazar spectacle and faced Dean once more. “Why are you going if you hate it?”

Dean shrugged, “Because all our friends are going.”

Cas gave him a lingering look, one that Dean matched, before being interrupted by the ringing bell and some of their friends walking up to them. Lisa sidled up next to him, cozying into his side and smiling up at him.

They were sort of dating now.

He'd had a crush on her for a couple years, so it was basically a score for him, but sometimes he felt bad about having a girlfriend when Cas didn't. He knew that dating Lisa meant he wouldn't be around as much, but he hoped that Cas would still accept his calls in the middle of the night and that they'd still stay up too late on saturday nights before Cas had to be up for church.

He didn't want things to change. He wanted everything to stay the same, but this just added. He liked the bonus of making out, _really_ liked it, but not at the expense of ruining the group vibe. He hoped it wouldn't come to that.

He placed his arm around her shoulder as they all began to move as a group down the hall. He might've been touching Lisa, but his attention was once again on Cas, talking about their history project and the casting for the new Indiana Jones movie coming out. Everything was fine, everything was normal.

 

* * *

 

Dean stood in one of the upstairs guest bedrooms, attempting to tie Ash's bow-tie while the blonde drank from a bottle inside a paper bag. The boys had been sequestered into one of the guest rooms while the girls were all huddled in Bela's room, finishing up.

She had invited the lot over to get ready for the dance and take pictures at her freakishly large house. Their parents were all downstairs, schmoozing with one another while waiting for their children to descend.

Dean hated this. There was literally no part of him that was enjoying any of this.

He finished with Ash's hideous metallic and purple polka dotted tie and turned to see if anyone else needed help. Balthazar was lounging on the bed, talking with his date – Christopher, head of the JV Swim Team. Benny was sneaking sips of Ash's alcohol, Crowley sipping from his own flask, Kevin was seated on the ground finishing up a paper for some online course he was taking, and Garth was regaling a snoozing Victor with tales of smiley grandeur.

And Cas was leaning against the wall, taking it all in.

He had conceded on taking Hannah to the dance when she asked him as friends the other night, especially since they were the last two out of their group without dates.

He looked good, Dean decided.

Anna had helped them pick out their clothes and Gabe had driven them all to the mall, reveling in their discomfort and blatant misery. But, the blue and silver she'd forced Cas in looked good, brought out his eyes and pale complexion and dark hair. Anna had given him green, like he always got because of his eyes, but it was fine.

He moved to stand beside Cas, hands in the pockets of his dark grey dress pants. “Hey.”

“Hey.”

Dean looked over at him, while Cas was still looking over at their friends. “You ready for this shit show to end?”

Cas turned towards him then, that blank stoic look piercing Dean. “It's the eighth grade dance, Dean. We're not going to war.”

Dean snorted, “Yeah, well, hopefully they'll play some Zepplinn or something and it'll ease my suffering.”

Cas rolled his eyes, “I think the best you'll get is some Beatles, and that's only maybe.”

And they both knew how he felt about that.

The door slammed open and Bela stood in her champagne gold gown – because there was no mistaking that thing for just a dress. “Ready, slags?”

Balthazar and Crowley snorted as everyone moved towards the door. The girls were all lined up in the hallway by the stairs, already taking pictures with each other.

Charlie was laughing with her date Gilda, both in short flirty dresses in different shades of blue. Meg was leaning against the wall looking both bored and bitchy – her usual resting bitch face – in a black tube dress. Victor's date, Sarah Blake, smiled in a longer burgundy dress that looked great with her dark hair, the same with Benny's date Tessa who was in royal blue. Garth's bubbly blonde date Donna stood in sunny yellow that matched her personality and Channing matched Kevin with shades of grey. The sort of gothic Lenore was in black lace, something Crowley did not match in his pristine suit. Hannah was in a modest white and Pamela was in slinky red.

Dean pioneered the downstairs movement, just wanting this to be over, strutting down the grand staircase to where all the parents were chatting and drinking. John noticed Dean from where he'd been pretending to listen to Lisa's dad talk about fishing and placed his hand on the back of Dean's neck when he got close enough.

“You all ready?”

Dean sighed, “Just about.”

John smirked, knowing full well his son's feelings about the situation and reveling in his discomfort. Lisa's dad jumped in, snorting and nodding at Dean's comment. “Girls, right? Never ready on time, but at least they're pretty.”

Dean couldn't help the face he made and sent to his dad, who subtly sent one back. Lisa's dad was the sort of old-school misogynist that didn't even realize he was one. He probably still thought women couldn't change their own tires. Poor Lisa for having to put up with that.

Everyone else made their descent and Dean was sent back up the staircase to get in line with everyone else, standing behind Lisa like it was freaking Prom. They took too many pictures in too many different positions until they were finally able to leave.

Dean, Lisa, Cas, Hannah, Charlie and Gilda all went in the Impala, since some of the other parent drivers decided slamming some back at the Talbot residence was more fun. Dean and Cas sat up in the front with his dad and the girls were all loaded in the back, talking over each other. Dean was grateful to feel the heat and weight of his father and Cas beside him.

The ride to the school wasn't long enough for Dean's liking, but once they pulled up in front of the gym and he saw everyone in their class mingling and taking pictures in their nice clothes, Dean could feel himself become a little less annoyed than he was a moment ago.

John let the out at the curb, the girls sliding out and so did Cas. John laid a hand on Dean's shoulder, stopping him from exiting the Impala. “I'll be back to pick you up at nine. Don't spike the punch and don't get anyone pregnant.”

“ _Dad_! Oh my god!”

John held up his hands, “I'm just saying.”

“Goodbye, dad.”

Dean slid out of the impala, slamming the heavy door in John's laughing face. Cas was standing with their large group, but was waiting for Dean. He bounded over to them, slinging his arm over Cas' shoulders and smiling at the other kids that joined them.

They moved into the gym, which was done up in cheesy streamers and balloons. Large round tables were set up around the room, one long buffet table pushed against the wall had drinks and food. The DJ  booth was set up in the corner and everyone in their class was dancing to shit music and laughing. 

Their group snagged a table on the side, away from the crowd, and Dean immediately took off for the food. He was hungry and he was going to fucking eat his weight in appetizers before he was forced to do anything else. Benny and Ash appeared at his side, stacking their plates high with food and giggling, Dean just rolled his eyes and waited for them.

Cas had picked the chair beside him, which was unsurprising, and he was in some serious conversation with Hannah. Lisa was already mingling and dancing with her friends and the rest of their group was split up. Dean sat and started eating, listening to Cas and Hannah speak in mumbled monotone and watched their grade smile and bop to music.

He was happy to sit there and eat his free food, sipping on soda and ignoring everyone. That he could do, that he could handle. Eventually Lisa dragged him onto the dance floor, Dean didn't mind too much, though he put up a huffy exterior about it. He liked dancing and was pretty fluid in movement, quick on his feet and all that. At one point, a large group formed around them, made up of not only their friends, and Bela pulled him in the middle to dirty dance. They laughed their way through it, but the applause they got at the end made Dean seriously consider getting involved in the high school musical.

All in all, it wasn't as shit as he thought it'd be. It also wasn't exactly the time of his life either, but whatever. Somehow, Cas had even managed to bribe the DJ into playing _You Shook Me All Night Long_ , which was amazing. 

With the dance coming to a close, they made their way out of the sweaty gym and avoided the Yearbook club taking pictures of everyone exiting, to wait for his dad. The Impala was growling at the curb and Dean couldn't help the smile that over took him at the sight of his baby. John was teaching him how to fix her and maintain her, and Dean hoped that meant she'd be his once he got his license. 

Balthazar snorted and threw an arm around Dean's shoulders, smirking. “Dean, it's a bit indecent the way you're staring at that car. Is there something you'd like to tell us?” 

The others chuckled and ribbed him at the comment, but Dean – never one to be showed up – stepped out of Balthazar's hold and turned cockily toward them with his hands on his hips. “Actually, yes.” He started dramatically. “Guys, I've thought about this a lot, and I'm sorry Lisa, but I've decided that it's time for me to be my true self and be with the love of my life.” He walked over to the Impala and stroked the black paint fondly.

“I always knew you weren't entirely straight.” Balthazar laughed.

“What can I say, I love my baby.”

His friends howled in laughter as John rolled down the window and sighed. “Dean, stop petting the car and get in.” It only made everyone laugh that much harder.

They split up into cars again, heading back to Bela's house. John didn't say anything through the loud chatter of the girls in the backseat and Dean felt like he'd just resigned himself to play chauffeur for the night. 

They pulled up to Bela's house, the other parents and their cars void from the drive. Once again, Cas and the girls slid out, leaving Dean alone with his dad. John stopped him from leaving and used his “Marine Eyes” as him and Sam liked to call the look he sent down.

“No funny business at this sleepover, you got me?” 

“Yes, dad.”

 “Call me if you need.”

“Okay, dad.” Dean sighed and slide out from the Impala, sticking his head through the window to quickly yell, “Love you.” before dashing up the drive to meet everyone else inside.

Bela's parents were upstairs in their suite, not bothered by the large group of kids running ramped through their house. They all congregated in the large kitchen, Bela seated on the island counter, already shaking her martini, the others were munching on the food her parents had left out for them and  sipping on drinks.

What Dean really wanted was to change out of these clothes, but he settled for a beer. He moved to lean against the counter that Cas was at, blue eyes watching the surroundings. Hannah was seated at the island counter, sipping a drink Bela had made for her and Lisa was laughing with Garth and Donna. They stood there quietly, watching their friends and sipping beers until Bela decided they should move into the living room and play a game.

Dean had taken it upon himself to suggest changing out of their clothes while the move was happening, so ten minutes later Dean sat on the living room floor in sleep pants and a band t-shirt. Everyone else had changed into similar clothes, except Bela who was in an honest to god silk negligee that left little to the imagination. He honestly didn't expect anything less from her thought. 

They all had drinks and they were all seated in a circle, so it was easy for Bela to suggest Spin the Bottle. The group sort of groaned and laughed at the same time. Dean could feel the nervous excitement radiate through the group, which wasn't shocking considering they were a bunch of hormonal teenagers. Dean could vouch for being horny a good amount of the time and the thought of kissing anyone was exciting.

So, they all buckled down, inhibitions lowered and smiles on their faces as Bela spun the empty champagne bottle first and proceeded to kiss Meg like she was born to do it. Dean laughed along with the rest of them and sipped his beer, only mildly anxious about who it would land on. By the last round, everyone had practically kissed everyone else. Dean had kissed or been kissed by Bela, Balthazar, Charlie, Crowley, Lisa, Meg, Benny, and Donna. It was what it was, it was just some stupid game. Dean wasn't hesitant to kiss any of the people in the circle, they were his friends.

It was Cas' turn again, somehow he had managed to evade playing thus far, only going two rounds instead of the eight like everyone else, and kissing Meg and Charlie. He'd sporadically gotten up to get food or drinks, disappeared for twenty minutes only to return like nothing had happened. Dean has sent him looks, but Cas was studiously not looking his way, which was sort of bumming Dean out.

Meg was ribbing Cas in the side, pestering him until he leaned more into the circle and took another turn, eyes rolling. Cas grasped the bottle and spun it quickly, ignoring who it landed on in favor of taking a deep pull from his own bottle. Cas, they had found, had an amazingly high tolerance for alcohol, Dean was almost a little jealous. 

The bottle spun and Dean watched it without any real thought of who it would land on. He was starting to get tired, his brain a little fuzzy around the edges, and zoned out a little as everyone joked and laughed around him. And then the bottle stopped, on him. 

Well, okay.

All of their friends began oohing and ahhing, Cas finally looked at him with that dead stare. He just gave them all the finger and leaned in to kiss Cas. It was quick, the required fifteen seconds, and then it was over. Meg than took the bottle and spun, the thought of their kiss past everyone's minds.

But, Dean couldn't help but dwell on it for a minute. Cas was his best friend, his rock, his person. Dean honestly didn't know what he would've done the past two years if Cas hadn't been there for him. But Dean wouldn't lie and say that he hadn't thought about what Cas said last year when they caught Lucifer and Eve kissing in the moonlight and how that might apply to them.

Lisa was his girlfriend, he liked kissing her and talking with her and generally being around her. But, with Cas' lips firmly pressed against his own, Dean found that all the same things may just apply to Cas as well. Which was... interesting. 

Cas wasn't looking his way anymore and Lisa was cozy against his side where he could feel her begin to doze off. He let those thoughts go for the time being and sipped his beer, content for now.

 

* * *

_9th Grade_

Dean laid on his bed, flipping through some car magazine Bobby had gotten his dad a subscription to for his birthday while Cas finished typing up a paper on the computer. Dean was sort of comforted by the familiarity of it all, because this was what they did practically every week. Whether it was at the Novak residence or Kate's house, Dean and Cas could usually be found together. Normally they would be wrapped up in each other watching Star Wars or Star Trek and eating too much popcorn, but seeing as it was a weeknight Dean had just gotten home from football practice and Cas followed him home to type up the paper he'd written while waiting for Dean to finish.

That in itself wasn't odd, seeing as Dean and Cas were known for being best friends. They're both sort of popular, Dean guessed, but in the sense that everyone knew who they were and people were always friendly to them.

But, they were popular for different reasons.

Dean was popular because he was cool – according to Charlie's analysis, anyway. He didn't play in to any high school stereotypes – he's not a jock, he's not a cool-guy, he wasn't the class clown – which apparently means he “defies the odds” or whatever. He was an athlete, yes; he gave off a devil-may-care attitude, sure; he was charming and funny, absolutely. But, he didn't really care about what their classmates thought of him. Charlie said once that he almost existed in his own little reality and everyone else was just guest starring. Dean wasn't entirely sure if that was meant to be a nice comment or not, but he'd take it. 

Cas on the other hand was cool and popular by association. The class liked him because his grumpy persona was hilarious and everyone in their graduating class made it their personal mission to get him up to date on pop-culture references. He was the class Vice President, second to Becky Rosen – who was aka the most intense person in America. He was in Sparring Club – something that he and Dean had joined on a whim this year because they thought it would be funny, but now they loved it. He worked the Library during study halls and often gave out free passes, because why not. He was smart and nice and sarcastic and funny. 

And he was Dean's best friend. 

Dean never thought he'd have a friend as close as he was to Cas. Because, he was _close_ with Charlie and Benny, extremely tight with them. But, it didn't hold a candle to his relationship with Castiel. 

Everyone was sort of aware of that and didn't really comment on it. It was sort of known that wherever Castiel or Dean was, the other wasn't far behind. Dean liked it that way, liked that he'd always have Cas to count on. It was... comforting.

Cas let out a small sigh and stood from the computer chair, stretching out his back with his arms held high over his head. Dean couldn't stop the small glance he sent Cas' way or the way his eyes roamed over the exposed skin the action had bared.

Dean wouldn't pretend he'd never looked when things like this occurred, or when they swam in the summer or changed after school. He wouldn't even pretend it was only Cas that he noticed, but he couldn't lie and say that he didn't like looking at Cas the most.

He shifted his eyes away before Cas could notice and looked back down at the magazine in his hands, flipping the page. Cas sighed and moved away from the desk, coming to stand near the window. “You finished?”

“Yeah.”

Dean squinted at an article on detailing, reading it through before realizing that Cas still hadn't moved from the window and hadn't said anything in quite some time. He looked up and over at Cas who was staring out the window with a blank face, brows furrowed tightly. 

“Dude, what's up?”

Cas' shoulders seemed to tense a bit before he turned back to face Dean fully. He looked determined, but nervous and it was really starting to freak Dean out. He'd never seen Cas look like this before, like he was about to lay some serious shit on him. Fuck, if Cas was about to go all _Fault in our Stars_ or some shit on him, Dean was going to flip. 

“Cas, come on. What the fuck is up?”

He got hostile when he was nervous, sue him.

“I...” Cas began nervously, still standing by the window. “I have to tell you something.”

“Okay...” Dean trailed off, leaving room for Cas to fill in the very ominous blanks. But Cas just stood there, staring at him like he was about to have a panic attack and leave the room. “Dude, what?” He barked after minutes of staring and no words.

Castiel just stared at him, eyes a bit wide and his breathing just on this side of hyperventilation. “Castiel, just fucking spit it out!” He yelled, body tight and ready to jump from the bed at a moments notice. He normally didn't call Cas by his full name – too much of a mouthful, but he needed Cas to know how serious he was. If the fuck didn't come out with it, Dean was going to hit him. 

“I'm gay.” Cas sputtered.

Dean's brows furrowed at the words and his heart began to break at the expression on his best friend's face – like this was the moment Dean would decide the actual _years_ of their friendship and bonding didn't matter. Like Dean would be disgusted, like Dean would _hate_ him. It hurt more than he was willing to admit. 

“Okay.” Dean looked him over, brows still furrowed. “Did you like, murder someone in a fit of passion?” He asked and then his eyes darkened and he sat up. “Is someone threatening you? Is that why you didn't want to tell me? You're afraid I'm going to kick their ass, aren't you? Well, you better fucking believe I will, who is it, Cas? Is it that human garbage bag Trenton? I bet it’s fucking Trenton. I’ll beat his ass into the ground.”

“What?” Cas asked confused, his face morphing from the worry and sadness that was actually painful to look at. “No.”

Both of them settled once again, after they'd established that Cas was scared to tell Dean not because someone was bothering him or because of some fictitious rendezvous, but because of Dean's reaction. And that hurt, it did.

Dean was seated on the edge of the bed, looking up at Cas who was standing so still, waiting for Dean's reaction to his proclamation. Dean's eyes softened as they looked at the dark haired boy with the angel name, he shrugged, voice gentle.

“Cas, are you really that worried about me?”

Cas sighed, his eyes moving over the grooves in the hardwood of his bedroom floor. “I don't know. Maybe?”

“Dude, it's not that big of a deal.” At that, Cas' eyes rose to meet his, hope blooming in the blue. “Everyone's a little gay, man. Of course I've seen a hot dude and was like, yes okay.” He smirked, but it died quickly on his lips at his next thought. “Did you really think I'd leave you over your sexuality?”

Cas stepped forward then, it was clear in his eyes that his intent was to sit beside Dean and wash away those worries, but his own worry over the situation held him back. “No.” Cas sighed, rubbing a hand over his eyes. “I don't know. But, I don't want to loose you, Dean. I _can't_ loose you, and I'm just so worried that this would cause us to drift apart.”

“ _Why_?” Dean had to ask. What had he ever done to indicate that he wouldn't be okay with this. “Charlie is gay. And Balthazar is whatever.”

“Pansexual.” Cas corrected immediately.

“Gabriel's that too, right?”

“Right." 

“So,” Dean looked at him pleadingly. “Tell me why you were so afraid I'd kick you to the curb.”

“I just don't want things to change between us, and you're very... John Winchester sometimes.” Cas said delicately.

For and instant, Dean felt the flash of anger at Cas saying his dad wasn't accepting, but he knew that wasn’t what Cas had meant. Dean did emulate his dad – his very gruff, ex-marine, manly dad. He couldn't fault Cas for being afraid that something like this might effect Dean, but he was stupid for thinking it actually would.

“Yeah, well, not about this.” Dean said definitively. “I don't care if you like guys, Cas. It doesn't change anything between us.”

There was a whisper in the back of his mind that knew that wasn't completely true, but now was not the time to think about that. Not when Cas looked equal parts skeptical and hopeful. 

“I don't want things to be weird between us, Dean.”

Dean's brows furrowed in confusion. “Why would they be?”

Cas looked away from Dean's gaze, almost shy again. Which made Dean want to snort, because since when has Cas ever been shy? Socially graceless, maybe. But never _shy_.

“Because... we share beds and generally see each other undressed all the time.” Cas finally said with a sigh after trying to grasp the words. 

“Yeah, but I'm assuming that you've had these feelings your whole life, right? So, why would now be any different from yesterday when I didn't know?” Dean asked, brows raised and a smile tugging at his lips that spoke of him trying to get Cas to understand something the other boy just wasn't grasping. “It doesn't change anything.” He said for a final time. 

Cas' shoulders dropped from their defensive hunch and he looked about ready to fall. Dean stood immediately and gathered Cas into his arms, pulling the other boy into his embrace, just as Cas had done for him so many times after his mother died. Cas immediately buried his face in Dean's shoulder and his arms tightened around his waist. Dean just hugged him tighter around the shoulders and leaned his head on Cas'. 

They were silent for a while, just holding each other, until Dean couldn't stand the emotion anymore and smirked as he asked, “So, I have a very important question that I need answered right away.” 

Cas didn't move from where his face was smushed into Dean's shoulder, but relied, “Shoot.” 

“Am I attractive to the gays, Cas? I _need_ to know.”

Cas pulled back in the embrace just enough to give Dean his signature deadpan look. “Yes, Dean. _Everyone_ thinks you are attractive and it's super annoying.”

Dean barked out a laugh and pulled Cas back into the hug, pulling him back in so hard that it caused them to fall back onto the bed, still holding each other. Dean just adjusted and laid there with Cas in his arms. They were quiet again, but of course that didn't last long with Dean in the room and he was once again the one to break the silence. 

“I hope you know that there's very little that would ever make me think any less of you, Cas. And even less that would make me cut you out of my life.”

He knew this conversation was quickly turning sappy and kind of chick-flick, but this was Castiel and Dean would let himself fall into a sentimental moment for him. 

“I hope you know just how much you mean to me, Dean.”

Cas' reply came after a short while and Dean could practically feel the emotion in his words. And Dean did know, he had always known.

“Have you told your family?” He asks instead of replying to Cas' comment. Because he couldn't reply to it, he just... couldn't.

Cas just sighs and shakes his head. “No.” 

“Are you worried?”

Cas is silent for a moment before speaking. “Yes and no. I'm not worried that they would kick me out or that they won't love me anymore. I'm just worried that they'll be disappointed in me, which I can't help but feel like would be worse.” 

Dean just smoothed a hand down Cas' arm, gently soothing him like'd he'd done to Sammy and Adam as babies. It seemed to work a little. “I don't think they'll be disappointed in you, Cas. I mean, I know you guys are all church-y or whatever, but you're their kid. Your mom loves you, she's not going to feel differently towards you because of that.” 

Cas just sighed, “I hope you are right, Dean.”

They watched movies after that and didn't bring it up again, Cas seemed to let the anxiety melt away and Dean let that count as a win.

 

* * *

_10th Grade_

By the time Tenth Grade rolled around, no one really cared that Cas was gay. Including his family. Mostly.

Because, seriously, if they could deal with Gabriel's sexcapades, they could deal with Cas being very much a good little virgin that liked dudes. At least Cas wasn't sloring around all over the place like another one of their sons. 

Mr. Novak had always been sort of distant and absent, so he didn't really treat Cas any different than he had before – the guy was hardly around anyway with the amount of traveling he did for work. Naomi had just looked at him with that cold stare and sighed – she came around, without the crushing disappointment Cas had been expecting, but not without a few uncomfortable moments. Anna and Gabe just smiled, because they were Anna and Gabe and didn't give a shit.

Lucifer had stared deep into Cas' eyes, running a hand through his younger brother's hair lovingly before slapping his cheek and walking away. It was the most confusing reaction Cas had gotten, and yet the one that seemed to mean the most.

Michael... well, Michael was a dick.

Dean wasn't exactly sure what had transpired between him and Cas, and Cas was studiously _not_ telling him, but Dean knew it'd been bad. Castiel and Michael didn't speak anymore, Dean was glad. 

When Cas had told their friends, Meg just scoffed and rolled her eyes, telling him that she'd known since the fourth grade. Charlie squealed and Balthazar gave him a list of boys he'd already slept with in the school. The rest of them didn't care. At all. Even Hannah who only looked mildly disappointed that Cas was now forever off-limits. 

No one really talked about it or thought about it, it was old news.

Except Dean.

Dean thought about it.

Annoyingly enough, Dean often found himself wondering if Cas thought he was attractive. It was stupid and sort of inappropriate considering their very well established friendship, and Dean's very on-again off-again relationship with not only Lisa, but Cassie. Oh, and the fact that he was straight. Supposedly.

And yet, none of that mattered because he wondered if Cas looked at him when they were near naked, and if he recalled those memories late at night in the safety of his own room and got off to images of Dean. 

Dean wouldn't lie and say that he'd never gotten off to the thought of Cas, because he for sure had. Those wide blue eyes all full of fire and emotion, that fucking _mouth_ , his leanly muscled body... of course Dean had. He thought about kissing Cas sometimes, about just pushing him back into a wall and ruining all other kisses for him. He thought about Cas pinning him against the wall and ruining him for anyone else. He didn't really think about that though.

He was absolutely aware that thoughts like those very much meant that Dean was a little less than straight then he had originally intended to be. But, the idea of liking boys _and_ girls didn't scare him as much as he thought it might. So, by Tenth Grade, Dean was a little more than certain that he was bisexual.

None of that made thinking about _Cas_ in that way any better though. Cas was his best _friend_. And Dean was currently sort of dating Cassie again, so yeah.

Of course, that all meant jack-shit come friday night.

Cas had a date.

Like, a real date with another person of the human race. 

Dean sort of expected to feel emotions when Cas told him upon Dean walking into his room after soccer practice, but all he felt was humor about the situation. The thought of _Castiel_ going on a freaking _date_ was just too funny. 

So Dean just casually lounged on Cas' bed as he freaked out while tearing apart his wardrobe. Dean was sure he had some buried feeling about the whole thing, but he just couldn't help but feel genuinely unworried about it. Matthew was head of the _Chess Team_ for christ's sakes, how amazing could this dude be? Dean was un-phased.

He was lying on Cas' bed with a book, watching him change clothes for the third time and growl in frustration. He'd showered after practice, but he still sort of smelled and now he was sort of wishing he'd went home before coming over here, cause now he was stinking up Cas' bed. He laid the book on his chest, head propped up by the thirty pillows Cas has on his bed and casually looks at what Castiel is doing. 

Cas was currently glaring at himself in the mirror on the closet door, hands on his hips, deep frown on his lips. Dean couldn't hold back the snort of laughter if he tried. 

“Oh my god, Cas, it's not that dramatic, just pick out a fucking outfit.” 

Cas turned his glare from himself to Dean and stared him through the mirror. It was a little something they liked to call his “Seraph” gaze, all intense and thunderous, and Dean couldn’t help the small dip of arousal in his stomach at the sight.

“Clearly I'm having trouble in that area, Dean.”

Dean made no indication to move from his spot. “Why didn't you ask like, any of our friends to help you, then? You didn't even tell anyone you had a date and now you're stuck with me sassing at you.” 

Cas pinched the bridge of his nose and stared up at the heavens like it was their fault for gracing him with Dean Winchester. Dean just scoffed, he should be so goddamn lucky. 

“What's wrong with what you're wearing?” 

Cas looked down at his outfit and Dean ran over it with his gaze. He looked normal in a button up and tight trousers that weren't necessarily dress pants, but not exactly jeans either. Dean didn't see the problem. 

“I wore this to school.” 

“Oh-kay...” Dean asked, not seeing the point. 

“I'm not sure if this is acceptable date attire.” 

Dean looked him over again, trying to see if anything would jump out at him, but then he just sighed and settled back into the pillows. “I don't know, dude. I wear flannel everyday, so you're barking up the wrong tree with me. But, I think you look fine.”

Cas just rolled his eyes and went back to glaring at himself in the mirror.

“Besides,” Dean continued, picking up his book. “Matthew's on the chess team and dresses like a Nirvana music video. The kid doesn't have any right to lay it on you.” Dean flipped a page in his book before having an afterthought. “I don't really think anyone's really _laying it on him_ either, if you know what I mean.” Dean snickered. 

Cas seemed to tense at that, looking back at Dean through the mirror with slightly wider eyes than before. “No one's ever _laid it on me_ either, Dean. I have zero practical experience. What if he wants to kiss me?”

Dean put the book down again, feeling something pulse through him at Cas' words, but forced himself not to acknowledge what it was. “That's not absolutely true, you've kissed people before.”

Cas rolled his eyes and turned to face Dean as he scoffed. “Yeah, you, Meg, and Charlie during _Spin the Bottle_ when we were _twelve_. That doesn't count, Dean.”

So Dean sat up, put the closed book beside him, and looked at Cas intently without really thinking anything through before the words left his mouth.

“So, come here and kiss me right now and get it out of the way.”

Cas looked too thunderstruck to have an emotion cross his face at Dean's words. “What?” 

Dean rolled his eyes and scooted to the end of the bed. “You heard me, Cas. Come here and kiss me and then it'll be over and you'll have nothing to worry about. Stop staring at me like that, Cas.” 

Cas moved from the closet to stand in front of Dean, squinting down at him, trying to assess if Dean was being serious or not. But, Dean was being serious. If this was something Cas was worried about, Dean could actually do something to ease that worry. It seemed like a no-brainer to him, but that might honestly be because his brain was turned off at the moment.

Cas is just staring down at him as he was all but laid out on Cas' bed, looking up at him with his big green eyes and honest expression, and saying, “Kiss me, Cas.”

Dean saw the hesitancy written across Cas' face, like he wanted to, but was totally afraid to. So, Dean did what he did best and pushed him. “Come on, just kiss me.” When he got nothing once again, he leaned forward and pushed further – baiting him like a schoolyard bully. “Kiss me, Castiel.”

And Cas did.

He leaned down on the bed and placed his lips against Dean's chastely. Pulling back with a blush, he didn’t get far before Dean grabed him by the back of the neck and held him hovering above where Dean sat.

“Eh, not bad.” Dean bit out, his breathing just a little more harsh that it would be normally. “But that was super _I'm locked away in a tower and wear a chastity belt_.” Cas rolled his eyes, cheeks heating, but Dean held him in place. “Let's see if we can get it a bit more _Teenage Dream_.”

He pulled Cas back in by his neck and Dean quickly took over the kiss. It was slow and intense, his tongue making its way into Cas' mouth. He nipped gently at Cas' lower lip and tugged, soothing it with his tongue.

Cas was left breathless by the kiss when they parted, eyes staring directly into Dean's, a look of awe and wonder and curiosity in his gaze. 

It was a perfect fucking kiss and when they parted, it was a little more than obvious that it wasn't the greatest idea Dean's ever had since they were both clearly effected by it. Dean cleared his throat and was instantly back to being what Cas and Sam liked to call “ _Bad Boy Winchester_ ” – smirky and not really meeting Cas' eyes.

Dean watched Cas finish getting ready and then he went home before Matthew was set to arrive, not wanting to awkwardly play older brother when Cas had enough of those as it was. The monster erection pressing against his zipper was also a major factor in the decision, but he was at least attempting to keep it classy so he went with the first reason.

Cas watched him leave and waited for Matthew. He went on the date, the short kiss he shared with Matthew at the end of it paled in comparison to one with Dean up in his bedroom, and by then it was officially cemented – he's actually in love with Dean Winchester.

 

* * *

_11th Grade_

When Garth had suggested they do something for Balthazar's upcoming birthday, they all tentatively agreed. It wasn't that they didn't want to celebrate Balth's birthday, it was just that the celebrations always tended to... get out of hand.

Like, last year, he wanted to go camping. 

It seemed innocent enough, so they all agreed and camped out in the woods behind Balth's house. That of course ended with a weird _Blair Witch_ naked moon dance moment, Garth getting poison ivy on his dick, Tessa with a tic in her ass, and Donna almost drowning in the pool.

So, to say they were all a little hesitant was an understatement. But – somehow – Balthazar was one of their close friends and they couldn't deny the snobby prat on his birthday, so when Bela had informed them that the coming weekend they'd be going “out” for the celebration Dean was curious and filled with dread on what that actually meant.

They met up that friday night at Bela's house – which for some reason become their usual group activity house, even though Balthazar's was just as big and his parents just as gone. The drinks had already started Hannah and Kevin being their DDs for the night, when Crowley gathered them all around the countertop and pulled out a cigar box from his peacoat and dumped it. Fake IDs for all of them sat on the counter and Dean sighed. This was going to be worse than last year, he could already tell.

“We're going out tonight, bitches.” Bela smirked as she dinged her champagne glass to get their attention. “And because we're celebrating his birthday, Balthazar gets to choose the venue. No one bows out.” She added as a threat at the end.

“God fucking help me.” Dean looked up at the ceiling.

“Shut up, Winchester, you're going.” Bela draped her arm across his shoulders and Dean pretended that he didn't notice both Cassie and Lisa glaring at her. It was best to avoid both of them for the rest of the night. Which, shouldn't be hard, seeing as they hated him right about now. It was to be expected. 

He'd been on and off with both Lisa and Cassie since like, seventh grade. He'd technically dated Cassie first, but he'd always liked Lisa more. He'd taken Lisa to the eighth grade dance and Cassie didn't speak to them for six months. Then, him and Lisa broke up for whatever reason and he started back up with Cassie. It was an endless cycle, until the last time.

Last year, during Cas' whole first date debacle, he'd told Cassie that he'd let Cas use him as a practice dummy and she hadn't taken it well. She'd accused him of lying and saying that he'd really kissed Lisa and that he was only telling her to appease his own guilt. She'd broken up with him and said it was for good.

He'd been on again with Lisa after that, but he worked the whole summer trying to help his dad save up for college and Lisa got mad that he was barely around.  And apparently when he was around, he was with Cas or his brothers, and that he didn't seem to care that she was flirting with college guys to get his attention. They'd been off since july and Dean wasn't sure if he had the intention of going back to either of them. 

God, being in a relationship was so fucking dramatic.

“So where _are_ we going?” He asked, inspecting the fake ID as he sipped at his beer.

A club, clearly, why else would they need the IDs.

“ _Dungeons &Dragons_.” Balthazar smirked from where he sat on the counter looking down at them all.

“Come on.” Dean groaned as Benny let out a belly laugh and Charlie squealed beside Gilda and Dorothy.

_Dungeons &Dragons_ was one of the most popular clubs in Kansas City right now. It was comic book themed and the walls were lined with old school pinball machines and eighties arcade games, the drinks were named after nerdy pop-culture characters, and the upstairs was an actual Comics and Collectibles shop.

On that level – Dean was totally into it. But, it was the other aspect of the club that made Dean groan.

It was open to everyone twenty-one and over, but for whatever reason it's prime demographic seemed to be the gays. Just a bunch of hot gay guys all sweaty and dancing, and Dean wasn't sure if he could handle all that.

He was now in eleventh grade and officially positive that he was of the bisexual nature. He literally couldn't look at Cas shirtless and _not_ get hard. It was physically impossible. 

He guessed what he was most worried about was Cas getting drunk and dancing all up on him and then Dean would just... combust? He wasn't sure. Even though that scenario was the actual _least_ likely to happen, it still worried him. Cas was his pal and his friend and most of the time they were just guys being dudes, he also wasn't deluded enough to think that just because Cas was gay meant that Dean was his type.

All in all, he didn't want to embarrass himself and maybe potentially ruin the way things were with his best friend.

He took a deep pull from his beer.

“Aww,” Balthazar jumped off the counter and sauntered over to Dean, wrapping his arm around Dean's shoulders just as Bela had a moment prior. Dean swore they were siblings in another life, or twins separated a birth in this one. “What? Is Dean Winchester worried about his fragile masculinity?”

Dean scoffed and rolled his eyes, shrugging out of Balthazar's hold. “Please. I'm very confident in my sexuality, thank you very much.”

Balthazar narrowed his gaze at him, a wicked smirk on his lips. “And what kind of sexuality would that be again?”

Dean just smiled, “Pie-sexual.”

Their friends laughed and everyone grabbed their IDs, finishing up their drinks and split into cars. Everyone was super lying to their parents about what was going down tonight, but Dean had pretty much told John the truth about it. His dad wasn't exactly happy that they were spending the night in Kansas City, but Dean promised to call and check in when he woke up. He didn't tell his dad that they were going to a club and staying at some swank-ass hotel, but then again, Dean was pretty sure John didn't want to know.

The official story was that they were spending the night at Bela's, like they did most weekends. Some kids told their parents they were going to Kansas City with Balthazar's family for his birthday, and then there was Kevin who totally just lied and said he was staying over Charlie's to study. Because Charlie was the only one who'd managed to charm Mrs. Tran completely.

Dean slid into the Impala – which John let him borrow for the weekend with a very stern look – Cas, Benny, Charlie, Gilda, and Dorthy all cramming in as well. Dean wasn't sure who was going in what car, but he didn't really care seeing as Hannah and Kevin were driving the others. Balthazar had originally wanted to rent a freaking limo but there was no way Dean was going to be stranded forty-five minutes away without a car.

Benny and Charlie karaoked the whole way there to every song that came on the pop radio station, Dean grumbled the whole time about letting Benny sit up front and touching the radio. He needed a drink.

The swank hotel valet their cars and Balthazar checked them in with his fake ID and his platinum card. The two suites were connecting and each had two king size beds in each room, plus a fold out couch and a reclining chair, it was easy enough to fit them all. Dean thought this was all a bit excessive for someone's seventeenth birthday, but Balthazar simply claimed that in Europe seventeen was of legal age and he'd do something just as extravagant for his eighteenth.

They all changed into their going out wear – not all of them, Dean certainly didn't – and popped open the alcohol from the mini fridge that probably cost an arm and a leg.

 Bela, Balthazar, Gilda and Tess wouldn't let Dean leave the room without taking off the flannel beneath his dad's old leather jacket, he'd fussed but they won the fight. They wouldn't let Cas leave without taking off his trench coat, and they made Hannah change her outfit completely. Garth and Ash they claimed were lost causes.

The walk to the club wasn't far, about a block and very doable drunk. Dean made sure to document the surroundings anyway, just like his dad had taught him. Never too careful. 

Dean had to admit that the club was cool. Even with the multicolored lights and the terrible music on high volume. There was Star Wars and Star Trek paraphernalia all over, as well as other incredibly well known and kinda geeky pop-culture references.

They all congregated around the bar, there were a few of them lined along the walls of the club, and he was sure there were more on the other levels as well. Each level seemed to have a theme, but Dean was pretty content to stay in the space themed one. Han Solo was a beautiful sight indeed.

Everyone was either doing shots or drinking some girly cocktail drink – Garth literally had no shame. Dean did a few shots and sipped at Charlie and Meg's amazingly named drinks – Charlie had gotten the  _Captain Mal_ which was Firefly and lemonade over ice; and Meg had gotten the _Ripley_ which was bourbon, ruby port, and maple syrup – but Dean stuck with a beer for now.

After everyone had gotten their drinks, some went to check out the different levels and what wonders they held. Cas, Charlie, Ash, and a few others stayed in the space level with Dean, but they were all dancing. Well, not Cas. Cas didn't dance apparently.

For some reason, Dean felt like he should've known that and yet he looked shocked when Cas answered why he wasn't out there with, “I don't dance, Dean.”

“Since when?” Dean asked, shocked.

Cas just squinted at him and quirked a brow – whoa, Dean, calm down. “Have you ever seen me dance?”

Dean thought about it and, no. He'd actually never seen Cas dance, which was a shame. Cas just rolled his eyes when Dean said so and ordered another drink, some weirdly colored thing called the _H.A.L. 9000_.

Dean was content to lean against the bar next to Cas and watch everyone dance for a while. Until he noticed the appreciative stares they were earning and the flirty smiles sent their way that Dean didn't think twice about sending back until he remembered where he was and who he was with. 

Then, he turned around and ordered a _Solo_ – which, yes, was a fucking Han Solo themed drink – and chugged half of it in one go. He realized only after he put the half empty glass down that his throat was fucking burning, his vision had started to blur a little, that the _Solo_ was made up of vodka, gin, triple sec, bourbon whiskey, sweet and sour, and 101 whiskey. He was so fucked.

He finished the rest of his drink slower, but the effect had already set in and by the time he ordered another, he let Charlie and Gilda pull him out onto the dance floor where some of their friends were.

Dean could dance. He proven that in fifth grade during the Peter Pan, he'd proven that when he went as Magic Mike for Halloween this year and learned the _Pony_ dance to impress everyone – Cas – but it was different dancing in a crowd of other people. 

He danced in the group and drank his _Solo_ and totally ignored the way Cas' eyes tracked his movements from where he stood against the bar. He looked like he'd just gotten out of work and came for a drink with this button up and fitted trousers and sex hair and fucking stubble. Cas looked older than all of them and while no one really thought he was twenty-one, he at least looked older than seventeen. 

Dean just wanted to grab that wild hair and lick that jaw as Cas pounded into him – _okay, Winchester, time to cut you off_. 

He turned away from watching Cas and instead listened to Charlie butcher song after song as they danced to really shitty music. At some point his drink was gone and he went to the closest bar to order another, and by the time that one was gone, some guy had offered to buy him one. 

He was blonde and tall and pretty, not at all Dean's type, but whatever. He listened to... Mason? No, that didn't sound right. Miguel? Shit, he couldn't remember this guy's name for the life of him. But, Miguel had bought him a drink and asked him questions and stared at his mouth and Dean found the whole thing so ridiculous that he just went along with it, until he heard his name being called.

Cas had realized he hadn't seen Dean in quite some time and looked around for him. He'd finally spotted him at the other bar, laughing while telling some story animatedly as a blonde hunk stood beside him and watched the way Dean's mouth moved. He felt irrationally jealous and possessive of Dean – who was very much _not_ his, but he couldn't help the way he felt about him. 

“Dean.” He all but shouted over the loud music, cutting through whatever nonsense was flowing out of Dean's mouth.

Dean turned at his name and smiled when his gaze landed on Cas. “Cas!” His best friend Cas. He slid his arm around Cas' shoulders, the drink the blonde guy bought him in his other hand. “I was just telling...”

He squinted at the blonde dude, trying to recall his name. “Morgan.”

“Right, Morgan! I was just telling Morgan here about that time we all jumped off Bela's balcony into the pool and how Garth was so scared he pissed himself in mid-air.”

The blonde – Morgan – didn't seem at all interested in the things coming out of Dean's mouth and was probably much more intrigued by the things that could go _in_ it. Castiel glared at Morgan and wrapped his arm around Dean's waist, pulling him away from the much older blonde. 

“Oh, I guess we're going now. Thanks for the drink, Miguel!” Dean smiled at Cas and didn't remove his arm from Cas' shoulders, so Cas didn't remove his arm from around Dean. “He bought me a drink and kept asking me to tell him stories.”

“That's because he liked watching your lips move and was probably hoping he'd get to put his cock between them later.” Cas ground out.

A shiver went through Dean at Cas' words and the images they brought up. But, it wasn't the random blonde he saw when he looked up, it was Cas. And that, well, that was just too much for his inebriated state to handle.

“Woah-ho-ho.” Dean laughed out. “Somebody drank a little more than usual. You don't usually talk like that, Sailor.” 

“Well, when in Rome, right?” Cas bit out sarcastically and looked at Dean with that stoic face of his. Dean just wanted to kiss it.

Nope, that was not something he wanted to do to his best friend in the whole wide world. Not at all.

“Where is everyone?” He asked instead of _can I lick your face?_ which was much more creepy and not at all appropriate. “And what time is it?”

“I don't know the location of everyone, but I believe Charlie, Ash, Gilda, Dorothy, and Meg are all still down here.” Then Cas reached into his pocket for his phone and Dean had to stifle the moan that threatened to escape at the feeling of Cas' hand so close to his aching cock. “Going on two.” Cas said once he'd extracted the phone and then proceeded to put it back. 

Dean didn't say anything as they moved through the crowd of dancing people to find some of their friends. Dean realized that they were still practically clinging to each other, but didn't do anything or remove himself from where he was practically plastered to Castiel's side. They came up upon Meg and Charlie, Gilda and Dorothy dancing with some other girls beside them. Dean took another sip of the drink Mickey had bought him. 

“How many of those have you had.” Meg asked him with a smirk and narrowed eyes, not really commenting on the fact that him and Cas were draped over one another, but at the same time definitely commenting on it in her own way.

Dean shrugged, “Five? I think.”

Charlie's eyes went wide and looked at Dean a little astonished, Meg snorted. “If you have another one of those, you'll probably die. He's cut off, Clarence.” She said to Cas seriously.

Charlie poked him in the shoulder, eyes still wide. “How are you even still standing right now? You should be passed out already. How does your metabolism work?” She poked him in the abs and he swatted her hand away from his black shirt.

Meg just smirked and leaned against Charlie, wrapping her arm around the red head's shoulders. “He's not, Ginger Spice. Clarence is the only thing keeping him upright.”

“He is not. I'm fine!”

“Then why are you holding onto him so tight, Deano?” She snarked.

“Because he's warm, and very cozy.” Dean answered matter-of-factly and downed the rest of his drink.

Charlie and Meg just laughed and Cas rolled his eyes. “Dean, we're going back to the hotel now.”

“Okay, Cas.”

Charlie and Meg just laughed harder. Charlie pulled out her phone to text the group chat and let them know that Dean and Cas were going back.

“Looks like Tessa, Victor, Kevin and Hannah all went back already. Try and save us room on your bed!” 

Cas nodded at Charlie's request, knowing that if one of the king bed's were still open, they'd have to save half of it for Charlie and Meg, and whoever else could fit. Dean just followed Cas out, the cool night air slapping him almost and waking him up a little, but he was tired and happy to be going back to the room. His arm was still around Cas and Cas' arm was still around him, but he liked it. He also liked how people looked at them on the street, like they were a couple walking home. 

God, this alcohol was a bad idea. 

They got to the hotel in one piece and released themselves from each other's grasp once they got to the elevator and Cas was convinced that Dean wasn't going to fall on his face. Dean was talking, because Dean was a chatty drunk – either affectionate or visceral were the only two ways Dean Winchester did inebriated – but he had no idea what he was actually saying.

They made it to the room, the only light on was in the bathroom, which just afforded whoever was entering little light to see. Kevin was asleep on the reclining chair, but that was it. The others must've been in the adjoining room, the door to it was open but Dean didn't care. He shrugged off his jacket and shirt, stepped out of his jeans, and pulled on basketball shorts from his backpack. 

He slipped into one of the beds, sighing at the cool sheets and the softest mattress he'd ever been on according to his very not sober mind. He snuggled in and opened his eyes to see Cas stripping down, that lightly tanned skin on full display, those fucking hipbones that haunted his dreams. 

He rolled over before his big mouth got any ideas.

He closed his eyes and waited for Cas, who shuffled in under the covers in a t-shirt and boxers. Dean had been sleeping beside Cas since they were eleven and wasted no time turning his head to face Cas. He looked at the dark blue eyes of his best friend, pupils a little blown from the alcohol, as he was sure his were too, those perfect lips and that messy head of hair.

“You're pretty cute, Cas.” He whispered.

It was true, but there was a part of Dean that would be embarrassed by saying it in the morning.

“Thank you, Dean.”

“What, you're not going to compliment me back? Some friend you are.” Dean teased.

But, Cas wasn't teasing back. Normally Castiel would roll his eyes or give a very subtle quirk to his eyebrows and stoically answer Dean. Cas didn't do any of that. He just looked honestly into Dean's eyes with his own and replied. 

“You're very handsome.”

A smile bloomed over Dean's lips and he gave a look that said, _I know_. He let his eyes brush over Cas' lips and couldn't stop the question from coming out of his mouth. 

“That thing you said earlier, about my lips, were you being serious?” 

Cas' eyes dragged down to his lips, lingering for a moment before slowly crawling back up to his eyes. “Yes.” He said unblinkingly.

Dean had wanted to kiss Cas before. Hell, he practically spent the better part of puberty pretending he didn't. But, he'd never wanted to kiss Cas as much as he did right now.

It would be so easy, all he'd have to do is lean over and that was it. There was nothing stopping him, nothing at all. Except the heart beat in his ears and the fleeting thought that it wasn't right. Instead he let his eyes drift closed and whispered a goodnight.

At some point Charlie and Meg had gotten back to the hotel because Dean had been very much asleep, snoring and all, when he felt a shove to his shoulder that startled him awake and whispers telling him to scoot over. He wasn't conscious enough to do anything than what the shover had demanded and scooted over right into the warm and waiting arms beside him. He buried his head in Cas' chest and wrapped an arm around Cas' waist, Cas just wrapped an arm around Dean and fell back asleep.

He woke up in the morning to giggles and a massive headache and Charlie standing over him like she had so many years before. Only this time her it was her phone instead of a polaroid and the fact that they weren't eleven.

Both him and Cas were practically wrapped around each other, but Dean was comfortable and his head hurt, so he wasn't moving no matter how much Meg sniggered beside them.

“Charlie at least be useful and get me some water and a gun.”

Charlie rolled her eyes and walked towards the edge of the bed, jumping down, the movement causing Dean's head to throb. “Okay, jeez, don't be such a baby.” 

Dean closed his eyes for a moment and let himself be comforted by Cas' embrace and the warmth from his body. Charlie came back all too quickly with a bottle of water and some pills. Dean attempted to sit up and extract himself from Cas, but he just tightened his arms around Dean. He could hear Charlie and Meg snickering and unwound himself from Cas' arms. He sat up and took the water and pills from Charlie, downing them before leaning back against the headboard and rubbing his eyes. 

It was still relatively dark in the room thanks to the curtains still being drawn, thank god. Meg was sitting on the edge of their bed with her back against the headboard, eating a bowl of cereal. Her hair was a mess of tumbles and waves, and her dark makeup was smeared a bit around her eyes. Charlie looked tired, but pleased, her hair up in some haphazard bun on the top of her head. Kevin was scrolling on his phone, the blanket pulled up to his chin, and Benny, Ash, and Garth were all still passed out on the other bed. Dorothy and Gilda were laying on the pull out couch, chuckling quietly over the pictures they had taken last night, Donna asleep beside them. 

“Holy shit.” Dean murmured, holding his head in his hands.

“Yeah, I'm surprised you even woke up at all, Deano.” Meg said in between mouthfuls of cereal. “Benny and I had a bet going that you'd be dead.”

“I feel dead.”

“Well you drank five glasses of basically rat poison and who knows what else. Those _Solo_ s did you in, man.” 

Dean rested his head against the headboard with his eyes closed and willed the throbbing to subside. “The name lead me astray.”

Charlie snorted, “Not everyone could handle Han Solo.”

Dean looked down at Cas still asleep beside him and then to the rest of the room. “Is everyone else awake?”

“Only Bela, Crowley, and Balthazar, but that's because they're pretty much use to ingesting cyanide on a regular basis.” Charlie answered. “They're down getting brunch.”

Dean nodded, then looked at Meg's cereal. “Where'd you get that?” He didn't think the mini-fridge would be stocking breakfast items. 

“I ordered it.” She shrugged. “What?” She asked at Dean's questioning look. “It's going on his card, the one without a fucking limit, what do I care?”

Dean rolled his eyes, “It's his birthday.” 

“So?” Meg scoffed. “We went along with his crazy party plan, the least he could do is buy me some cereal.” 

Dean snorted and shook his head, closing his eyes as he leaned back against the headboard. He was content to just sit here for a while as his headache went down and wait for the rest of his friends to wake up. All in all, the night could've been worse, he supposed.

Of course, the lingering thoughts of Cas didn't subside as he woke up and Dean recognized that his friends weren't as blind to it as he'd originally thought. He knew that he needed to do something about it, like maybe have a fucking chat with Cas about how much he felt for him and that he'd be _so_ okay with fucking him into next week. But, he was scared.

Scared of what Cas would say, scared that it wouldn't work out and that he'd loose his best friend, scared about a lot of things. He'd rather have Cas as his friend than not at all. 

Now wasn't the time, he could feel that. But, maybe soon. 

He opened his eyes and grabbed the bowl from Meg's hands, ignoring her squawk of indignation, and ate some of her cereal while Charlie chuckled. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 12th Grade

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the porn shall commence from here, jump for joy my fellow sinners.

Dean wiped his face with the rag next to his tool box, attempting to get rid of the sweat and grease that covered him. It was hot in the garage, his coveralls tied around his waist, his wife-beater totally ruined.

His dad had left about an hour ago to go pick up Adam from the neighbor’s house that watched him sometimes when they all were out and left Dean to finish up on the car they’d been working on. He’d been working at Bobby’s garage for the past couple summers, helped out during the year here and there, so it was really no hardship for John to leave him. Especially now that the Impala was officially his – early graduation present and all.

Man, he was gonna look so fucking good rolling up Senior year in his baby. 

He moved from the car he'd just finished up on, clipboard in hand, looking over the paperwork and heading into the front office with a stupid smile on his face. Baby did that to him. Janice, the receptionist, sat talking with her friend, practically ignoring him. He signed off on the paperwork and slid the clipboard over to her, he was about to leave to go shower when Janice's friend stopped him.

“Where you going, Dean-o?” 

He turned at the sound of her musical voice. She was a few years older than him with dark hair falling around her shoulders and elbows. She was beautiful and knew it from the look in her dark eyes, the quirk in her brows, the smirk on her large lips. He'd seen her around a lot this summer, but he only knew her as Janice's Hot Friend.

Apparently now she wanted to talk to him.

“To take a shower.” He smirked. “Why, where are you going?”

She let a smirk fall onto her sinfully big lips as Janice rolled her eyes. “Out with you tonight.”

Dean smiled at her, still oozing too much charisma and charm for a seventeen year old to really possess. “Well I guess I should go get ready then...”

“Rhonda.” She clarified. “Go make yourself pretty for me, Dean-o.”

Dean smirked and left for the showers, hearing Janice gag and Rhonda laugh. Whatever, Rhonda was _seriously_ hot and Dean was all over that.

He was use to girls hitting on him, he was use to dates and romps in the Impala. Rhonda might be a few years older than him, but there was nothing like an experienced partner to show him the ropes.

Him and Lisa had both been virgins their first go, Cassie had slept with one other person at the time, Amanda had never let him get that far, and all of his other rendezvous had been makeouts and handjobs in the back seat.

Plus, with his feelings for Cas all on lockdown, he _really_ needed this.

He showered in the back quickly, but thoroughly, and dressed in his clothes from earlier. Not the best outfit ever, but, whatever. Rhonda thought he was a dirty mechanic, so she wouldn't be too disappointed when he walked out in jeans and a black t-shirt. 

He met her out by reception, Janice rolling her eyes as Rhonda took his arm and led him out to their cars. She told Dean to follow her. He did, to a diner on the other side of town, not far from her apartment. He felt a surge of arousal go through him at her words.

They ate burgers and pie, laughing about the stories from their jobs – she was an accountant, go figure. Once they were done – Rhonda insisting that they split the bill – she pulled him into her car and drove a block to her apartment building. He'd definitely be able to walk to his car with ease after this was over, and he appreciated her thinking ahead, because it would've been a bitch to try and park the Impala back here.

Dean followed her up the stairs to her apartment, dick already hard and ready to go. She pounced on him as soon as they walked through the door. Pushing him back against the wall and kissing him hard, licking deep into his mouth.

She pulled him into her bedroom and pushed him down onto her bed. She straddled him and began to kiss him again. His hands found their way to her hips, moving her up and down over his length, moaning at the feeling of perfect friction.

She pulled back, ripping her shirt over her head and tossing it onto the floor with a smile. That was the thing about Rhonda that he really enjoyed – she was fun. She smiled and laughed and it didn't make him feel like she was looking down upon him. She was just genuinely having a good time and Dean couldn't get enough of it. 

He pulled off his own shirt, the amulet Sam had given him years ago cold against his bare chest. Rhonda slipped off his lap and shimmied out of her jeans, tugging on Dean to go the same. He shook them off and stood before her in his boxers. He couldn't stop staring at her breasts, all pushed up and glorious looking in a silky grey bra and matching panties.

She watched him stare at her body, a wicked smirk falling over those lush lips of hers. “Dean. I have a _great_ idea.” 

“Oh, yeah?”

He had no idea what she was about to say, but from the look in her dark eyes he just _knew_ it had to be kinky. She seemed like the type – so unabashed and confident in her sexuality.

Rhonda moved to one of the dressers by her bed, rummaging through until she turned back to him with a smirk, pink panties in hand. God help him.

“Why don't you put these on? I bet you have the prettiest cock and I bet it would look _so good_ bulging out of these.”

God damn, she was wicked.

“Please, Dean-o. For me?” She bat those big dark eyes of hers and pouted those large lips at him. 

He eyed the panties in her hand before sighing and grabbing them from her. She smiled triumphantly and watched as he shed his boxers, dick swinging out, and pulled the panties on. They were satiny and soft, the brush of it against his cock was actually really nice – arousing. He stood with his hands on his hips, blush covering his cheeks and chest, eyes narrowed at her.

Rhonda cooed at him, “Oh, Dean. You look just _divine_.” 

“Yeah, yeah. Get over here so I can fuck you.” Dean muttered playfully, pulling Rhonda in to kiss her soundly. 

She giggled, but let him kiss her, moaning around his tongue. She pushed him back down onto the bed, crawling over him on all fours. She nipped at his lower lip, smirking down at him.

“Have you ever been fucked, Dean?”

His eyes went wide as he looked up at her. “What?”

“You're Bi, right?” She asked seriously, but with a smile, non-judging.

He swallowed, “Yeah.” Unsure of how she could've known. 

“So,” She repeated. “Have you ever been fucked?”

“No.” He admitted, suddenly a little shy. “I mean, I've fingered myself before, but... no.” 

“Would you like to?”

She sounded sincere and sinful all at once, eyes trailing over his face and neck, following the blush that had yet to fade. His heart was beating fast inside his chest, afraid to say yes and also afraid to say no. In the end, Rhonda made up his mind for him.

“Dean, trust me, you're going to really like what I have in store.”

He bit at his lower lip, looking up into her dark eyes with wide ones of his own, his stomach dropping in anticipation and arousal. “Okay.”

Rhonda smiled and bit her lip at the same time, her energy was giddy and infectious. “Okay, move up on the bed.” She got off of him, moving to the bedside table and began rummaging through. “Oh, and keep the panties on.” She threw over her shoulder as an after thought. 

Dean complied, moving up on her bed so his head rested against the pillows. He felt exposed, but not in a bad way. He was nervous, sure, but mostly he was excited. His cock was swollen and leaking in her pink satin panties and he wondered if he'd be able to hold off from coming. 

Rhonda returned to the bed with a bottle of lube and what he was pretty sure was a blue vibrator. At least it wasn't hot pink. Dean wasn't sure if he could live with himself knowing he'd let a girl fuck him with her hot pink vibrator.

He tried to relax as she pressed a button on the remote in her other hand, the soothing sounds of Zeppelin wafting out from her ipod docked somewhere in the room. If he thought this chick was seriously cool before, it was nothing compared to now.

Rhonda moved the panties aside so his balls and hole were showing and drizzled plenty of lube on her fingers, bringing them down to rest against his hole.

He'd done this before – fingered himself in the middle of the night, pretending it was Cas – but the sensation was _much_ different when it was another person. He let out a gasp as she circled a finger around his hole, pressing but not pushing until he opened for her. She slid the finger in, the wet slide warm and the intrusion made his dick harder – if that were even fucking possible.

She pumped her finger in and out, letting him adjust, and then added another. He bit his lip around a moan at the gentle burn of  the stretch, palming at his cock which was throbbing. She kept up a steady pace of in and out until she added a third slim finger and curled them. Dean nearly jumped off the bed when she grazed firmly at his prostate, or what had to be his prostate because _fuck_.

“Found it!” Rhonda called triumphantly from above him. “It's been a while since I've done this, but I knew I'd find it eventually.”

She began swiping against it on every thrust in, making Dean see stars and close to begging at this point, for what he wasn't quite sure.

For Cas, mostly. He wanted Cas here, fucking him into the mattress, kissing him long and hard, whispering filthy fucking things into his ear in that deep gravel voice of his.

He was panting by the time Rhonda removed her fingers, his dick hard enough to cut stone, but he didn't want to come yet. He watched, breathless, as Rhonda slicked up the toy, smirking at him as she pressed the tip to his entrance.

“Now is when things are really going to get fun, Dean-o.”

She pushed the toy inside of him and Dean gasped around the feeling of being stretched and full, wanting nothing more than it to be Castiel. She pumped it in and out of him a few times before switching the thing on and Dean really did jump that time. The vibration went through him, making him moan and thrash, then she pressed it up into him at an angle so it pressed against his prostate and Dean nearly cried. 

“Oh my fucking god.” He all but sobbed, lurching up, gasping at the feeling.

Rhonda sat up, sliding off her bra and panties quickly, before pulling his cock out of his own panties. She ripped open a condom, rolled it down his length – while he whined, basically – and straddled him. The feeling of her sliding down his cock at the same time as the vibrator pressing insistently against his prostate was almost too much.

He was gasping and moaning as she bounced up and down on his length, tugging at his hair and throwing her head back in pleasure. He gripped her hips tightly, pushing down on the toy in his ass as she fucked herself on his cock. He wasn't going to last, he knew that. 

“I'm close.” He ground out between breathless pants.

“Touch me.” She begged.

He slid a hand down to her entrance, warm and wet, so different from how he knew a boy would feel. He felt for her clit and rubbed as she found that perfect angle and rode him hard. Her inner walls spasmed around him and he was fucking done for. Crying out, he came hard inside of her, head thrown back, gasping for air and close to crying, honestly. 

She came not long after, slumping against him and leaning back to pull the vibrator from him. He gasped at the feeling of it being pulled out of him, but sighed in relief from the over stimulation.

Rhonda slapped his chest with a fond smile. “Now, did that rock your world or what, Dean-o?”

It honestly had. 

And if he went home and ordered some toys off the internet because of it, well, whatever.

 

* * *

 

Senior year rolled in and it was exactly the same as years past. Dean had thought it'd be different, that it'd feel different somehow because he would be graduating and moving on. It didn't.

He woke up too early, went to school, sat in class, went home, repeat.

Whatever excitement he had about the whole thing vanished the first week in. 

He had spent the summer working and when he wasn't working he was usually lounging in Cas' pool or watching tv in the A/C with his brothers.

There'd been that thing with Rhonda – but he was literally never doing to talk about that, to anyone, ever. He'd fucked up a little and fooled around with Lisa – which he'd promised himself he totally wasn't going to do since they broke up for real last summer, but he was weak.

The look on Cas' face was one of annoyance at Dean's lack of self-control. Dean, of course, didn't tell him that one of the driving factors behind the hookup was how crazy Cas had been driving him all summer. It wasn't like Cas was doing it on purpose, he had no idea how into him Dean was, but everything he did made Dean hard and horny and it was making him mean. 

He'd go over to Cas' after work and he'd still be in bed all sleepy and warm beneath the blankets in his cold room and Dean had to grit his teeth to keep from making out with the guy.

He'd roll up to jump in Cas' pool, the dude was already wet and glistening in the summer sun, those fucking hipbones all on display, making Dean _yearn_.

So, he'd broken his pact with himself and answered Lisa's texts and fucked her long and hard in the back of the Impala – so not classy, but, what was he gonna do?

Sleeping with Lisa had helped, he wouldn't lie, but it wasn't quite as satisfying as he wanted it to be. Mostly because Lisa was his ex-girlfriend and his mind was currently fixated on how much he wanted Castiel.

He hadn't really spoken with her since then. They were still friendly, she was still in the group – unlike Cassie who had sort of started pulling away and sat with other friends these days – but they'd never be quite as close as they'd been before.

That's what bothered Dean the most, the thing that kept him from pursuing something with Cas. He was worried that things would never be the same between them, and Dean couldn't lose Cas. He just couldn't.

So, things were normal, things were fine. Dean just felt simmering arousal and affection all the time and tried really hard not to smile fondly at Cas too often or let his erection be known. 

School was school, his grades weren't shit and he actually had a GPA high enough to do something with. He wasn't sure about college yet, didn't know if he wanted to go, and if he did he didn't know where or what for.

Mostly he just walked around boasting about how smart Sammy was – who was a freaking genius – and about how cute Adam was, and his impressive movie collection, and the Impala.

He was sitting in Latin with Cas when a ridiculous smile spread over his face at the morning announcements.

They were announcing the musical for this year and it was Peter fucking Pan. He could already hear everyone from their fifth grade class going wild, the group chat on his phone steadily blowing up.

Dean turned to Cas with a smirky-smile and arched a brow, “Should we do it?" 

Cas gave him a pleased look in return.

They did. They auditioned.

Their group wasn't the normal crowd that auditioned for the High School Musical and it set the whole school talking. The normal theatre kids seemed a little put out by the sight of them and Dean could understand why, they were jumping into their territory.

Balthazar just winked at them.

The Musical Director seemed intrigued by the sight of them all sitting in the hallway by the sign-up sheet, waiting to get their audition packets. He was a cool guy and had been one of Dean's assistant coaches for JV soccer, he'd been trying to get Dean to do the musical for years. He smiled when he saw Dean waiting, his name on the sign-up sheet.

“Mr. Winchester, I thought you'd never grace the music department with your presence.” 

Dean smirked from where he stood leaning against the wall, “I figured it was about time, Mr. Martinez.”

Mr. Martinez smiled in that all-seeing kind of way most teachers did and began distributing audition packets to the kids waiting in the hallway. Most kids just picked them up in the front office on their way out, but Dean had wanted to let Mr. Martinez know he was serious.

“Have any of you ever preformed before?” The teacher asked not unkindly, but curious about the new students he'd just inherited.

They all sort of smirked at each other. “You could say that.” Balthazar answered. 

Mr. Martinez quirked a brow and faced Dean who just smiled. “We all went to the same elementary school and we did Peter Pan in fifth grade.” He answered and then added cheekily. “I was Peter.”

The teacher chuckled and nodded, walking back to his classroom. “I'll see you all at auditions.”

 

* * *

 

Every year on the anniversary of Mary's death caused Dean to sink into a deep state of despair. This year, of course, was no different.

It didn't matter if he was doing pretty good in school, or how many sports he played, how many great friends he had, or if he was auditioning for the damn musical. None of it mattered because he let his mother die.

He knew, deep down, that it wasn't _actually_ true, but there was still a part of him that believed it. Believed he could've done more to save her. If only him and Sammy had cleaned up like they'd been asked, if only he had helped Sammy get over his fear of the dark a little sooner, if only he'd woken up that night a little quicker, she might still be alive.

He didn't talk about these thoughts. Didn't say them out loud. But, that didn't stop him from believing them to be at least somewhat true.

They often took off from school for a week and didn't leave their bedrooms in November. They'd go to her grave with dad and leave flowers there, they'd go to the diner and order rootbeer floats and cheese fries, and then they'd go home.

Dean mostly just sat staring at the wall until Cas came over and then he curled around him like a small child octopus. Cas did what he could to distract Dean and just be there for him. Most of the time it worked. 

They were older now, no longer small boys intertwining themselves in each other. It felt different now that they're older, being held by Cas felt different, but he liked it. Liked that Cas was tall and strong now, liked the way his arms enveloped him, liked the way Castiel's rough voice soothed him with the harsh language from his youth.

He doesn't tell Cas any of this, he doesn't tell anyone any of this. Just like the thoughts about his mom's death, he keeps it to himself.

He let Cas help him through that week in November and knows that he'll be back to do it again that week in December around Mary's birthday. Cas has been doing it for years now and Dean can't help but be grateful. He is grateful to have someone like Cas. Maybe that's why he's so terrified to acknowledge the feeling he has for the other boy. He doesn't want to lose this. 

He tries to convince himself he won't.

 

* * *

 

All of their auditions weren't on the same day. There were just too many people trying out for the musical this year that the auditions spanned over three days after school. Dean was day two, Cas was day three, and everyone else was sort of scattered between them. 

Dean wasn't necessarily nervous, he was just... okay, he was a little nervous. He hadn't actually done any of this since he was eleven and even then just how good are you really at eleven?

Balthazar went the first afternoon and boasted about how wonderful and great he'd done, and the rest of them had taken to waiting after school for everyone to audition. Dean was currently seated in the hallway outside the auditorium, reading over his audition scene with Sammy, who was trying out today.

That, of course, was the moment Cole fucking Trenton chose to stride in. His regulation ROTC pants and boots clunked down the hallway, the asshole was wearing a tight t-shirt and his father's dog tags around his neck. Dean couldn't help the scowl that took over his face at the sight.

“Well, well, well.” Cole smirked, stopping in front of where Dean sat with Sam. “Looks like the Drama department really does bring out the faggot in everyone.”

“Fuck you, Trenton.” Dean rolled his eyes, not bothered by the waste of space that was Cole Trenton.

“Sorry, Dean-o, but I don't swing that way.” He taunted, hands on his hips.

“Suck my dick, Trenton. There's nothing gay about being in the musical. And if there was, then you'd be fucking gay, you asshole, because you did one in fifth grade.”

Trenton just rolled his eyes and flipped Dean off, Dean just did the same and ignored him as he walked down the hallways and away from where they sat.

Jo had just went and came out with a bright smile on her face, saying that she killed it. Sam was nervous, but not worried. Dean wasn't either.

Sam did well and Dean watched his friends go in and out. When the next day rolled around he was a bundle of nervous energy throughout his classes. Cas had taken to reciting phrases in Latin and Russian to calm him down. He wasn't entirely sure what Cas was saying to him, but he appreciated it all the same.

When he walked onstage for his audition, he felt his heart beating fast, but the nerves start to melt away. Mr. Martinez was seated in the front row with a clipboard and papers surrounding him, his assistant – Ms. Tuck – sat beside him.

It was different from what he remembered, standing in the music room of the elementary school. He had memorized everything, every line and piece of music they had given them. 

“Dean.” Mr. Martinez said as he shuffled some papers around and scribbled into his binder.

“Hey, Mr. M.”

Dean stood with his usual swagger, hoping that if he emulated mischief and confidence, it would stick.

“I'm assuming that you'll be auditioning for Peter.” Mr. Martinez said with a smirky-smile.

Dean sent a cocky one back, “You know it.” 

“Alright, Dean, when you're ready.” 

He started with the monologue – Peter frustrated about Wendy leaving and the noticing that Tink has begun to die. He was talking to no one, no fairy flitting around, no one in his hands as he cradled the fading light in his mind. He jumped to his feet, shouting for the audience to scream that they did believe in fairies. Once he was finished, he could see the small smile in the corner of Mr. M's mouth. 

He then read the next scene opposite Ms. Tuck, who was still seated in the front row. It was the scene where Peter sneaks into the nursery to find his shadow. They then asked him to sing. The audition song was _Dream A Little Dream_. A boy from the band sat in the pit with a guitar and played to match Dean's voice. He was smooth and sweet, and once it was over Mr. M thanked him and asked him to call in the next person.

He sat outside the auditorium the next afternoon to wait for Cas, Charlie, Garth, and Donna. Balth was sitting next to him, Crowley across, the two of them bickering as Dean did his homework. 

Charlie came out all smiles and exhaustion, Garth was perky per usual, Donna looked like she was going to fainted but smiled, and Cas was stoic as ever. He sat down between Dean and Meg, and when Dean asked him how it went, he just nodded. 

And that was the end of auditions.

 

* * *

 

The list went up on a Friday. Practically everyone raced to get a look at the list, some people were texting it out to the school. Dean muscled his way to the front, quickly taking a picture of it and racing back down the hallway where their group stood on antsy feet. He thrust the phone in the middle of them all and leaned back as they began screaming.

He felt arms go around him from all sides, one look down at his phone confirmed the screaming in his ear. He'd gotten Peter.

He had fucking beat out everyone who had auditioned. All of the standard leading men in the musical department. He fucking did it.

The rest of the list showed that it was almost the same as their fifth grade cast, with only a few exceptions. Cas was once again John, but Charlie wasn't Michael, Sam was. Dean hugged his little brother so tight that Sam was punching Dean for embarrassing him.

Balthazar would be reprising his role as Hook, Garth as Smee, Jo was now their Tink, Meg was still Tiger Lily, and Bela was the head mermaid that would lure Wendy. Lisa was Wendy and Dean wasn't really sure how he felt about it, actually. He'd think about it another time.

Every one of his friends had been casted, they were all in the show once again.

This shit was going to be crazy.

 

* * *

 

Shit was sort of crazy.

After school rehearsals and Saturday practices had taken over his life. His coaches weren't exactly happy that he was coming to practice late or leaving early. But, soccer and football were just sports, they extended past the show date. It could wait. 

What couldn't wait? The fucking hard-on he'd had all damn rehearsal.

Lisa was sick the last couple days, which meant people had been filling in for her and writing down Wendy's blocking as they went. It wasn't a big deal and often times pretty funny considering that the dudes in their cast were jumping at the chance to fill in as Wendy. 

It'd started out as a joke the first day Lisa had called out of school, Garth smiley and shoulders shaking said he'd be more than happy to fill in for her. Mr. M had laughed, they all had laughed, but then Mr. M had said sure and now days later various guys in the cast had acted opposite of him. 

Today, though, had been Cas' turn.

Most of them put on voices and acted all girl-like, it made everything comical and slightly over dramatic. Cas did none of that. He didn't change the deep cadence of his voice or act like a girl. He acted like he was Wendy herself – pragmatic and steady. It threw Dean a little and made everything feel much more real.

Apparently that was what acting was supposed to be like, who knew. 

Of course one of the scenes they were going over was the scene where Peter and Wendy fight before she takes everyone to leave and Peter's left all alone with the poison.

Cas had been all up in his personal space – not shocking, this was Castiel – eyes intense, voice pitched low, like he was embodying the Seraph he was named for. He hadn't even been touching Dean and he'd gotten hard. He was uncomfortable for the duration of rehearsal and the long, chatty, drive home where he dropped off multiple people.

When he finally dropped Cas off, the corners of Castiel's usually downturned lips quirking up and his too-blue eyes shiny in the waning light. Dean thought he was beautiful.

He watched Cas walk to his door wanting nothing more than to run his hands through that disheveled hair, grab onto that firm ass and those thick thighs, and just kiss the fuck out of him.

Sammy had clamored into the front seat without getting out of the car, jostling Dean from his thoughts but not causing his continuing and raging erection from receding. He punched Sam in the arm for scuffing up his baby with his small giraffe limbs and began to drive them home.

Once they got to the house, Dean bypassed everyone and made his way straight to the bathroom. He was fucking taking a shower and he was taking one now, dammit.

He shed his clothes quickly and stepped into the warm spray, letting the water run over his body and his face. He felt more relaxed once he was in there, not as urgent or stressed. He ran his hands over himself, washing away the imaginary grime and sweat, feeling his stomach coil the lower his hands traveled. He finally just wrapped a hand around himself, hissing at the contact, but throwing his head back at the relief. 

He wasn't ashamed to admit that the only images that played behind his eyes were Cas. He wanted to know how Cas felt like, what his lips felt like, what they felt like on his skin and not just his lips. He wanted to know what Cas sounded like as Dean ran his hands over the sharp lines of his hips and the meat of his thighs. He wanted feel Cas' cock in his hands, in his mouth. He wanted to push into Cas, drinking in the noises he made, and he wanted Cas to push into him.

He came across the shower wall, chest heaving and blush splotchy over his neck and chest. Fuck, this was not good.

Cas was his best friend. Cas hadn't really ever shown interest in him as a potential dude he'd like to engage with. Cas also didn't know that Dean probably, most likely, definitely, swung that way. 

This was fucked.

He finished his shower and went downstairs to cuddle with Adam. His littlest brother was always good at distracting him.

Sammy was seated on one end of the couch doing homework and Adam was in the middle watching tv. Dean took the other side of Adam and pulled the sandy haired five year old into his lap. Adam went willingly, curling into Dean's broadening frame sleepily. Sam moved his legs now that Adam wasn't occupying the couch and dug his toes into Dean's thigh.

This made him content, made him ease from the naughty thoughts he had for his best friend. Cuddled by his little brothers, all warm and normal, he could forget. For now, anyway.

 

* * *

 

Rehearsals for the musical were more frequent now that they were nearing the show date and Dean was constantly rushing in, sweaty or freshly showered from practice and it was really fraying Castiel's nerves.

He'd seen Dean practically every way imaginable over the course of their long friendship, but this was just getting ridiculous.

Dark blonde hair all ruffled and spiked, cheeks flushed with color, chest heaving from being slightly out of breath, that horrible fucking smile that lit up his whole face, those stupid winks he'd throw Castiel's way for no reason. Why the gods had decided to allow Dean Winchester to grow up and look like this when he was already one of the loveliest people Castiel had ever met was just unfair.

It was also unfair that Dean was straight and he was not.

Yet, probably the most unfair and ridiculous thing thus far was Mr. Martinez giving Dean his Peter costume.

Dean had just run in from practice, Mr. Martinez had begun starting rehearsals a bit later for Dean. He was freshly showered, still wet, and smiling as he rushed in. Ms. Tuck had been distributing some of the costumes, having everyone try on some things and seeing what worked and what didn't work.

Lisa stood in an aqua dress that vaguely resembled a nightgown. Balthazar had a long red coat and a hook. Garth had a striped shirt and a hat. Sam had been given a blue onesie that zipped up the front. Jo didn't have a Tinkerbell ensemble yet. And he was in a fitted striped pajama set.

But, Dean?

Dean was handed these leafy shorts with a vine-like rope attached and that was all. Dean chuckled when Ms. Tuck handed him the pants and shook his head. And because it was Dean and Dean didn't care, he began to strip on stage instead of going to the bathroom to change like everyone else had.

Castiel couldn't help but watch as Dean pulled the shirt from over his head in that ridiculously attractive way boys did in the movies, tossing it to the floor beside his bag. Next he began unbuttoning his jeans when the wolf whistles from their friends started and Dean just made a face at them.

“Mr. Winchester.” Mr. Martinez sighed, but not without amusement. “Why are you stripping on my stage when there's a perfectly good restroom you could be using?”

Dean just smirked and looked around at all of them. “Everyone here has seen me without my pants at one time or another, Mr. M.”

Mr. Martinez just sighed and went back to looking over the music with their conductor, the rest of the cast laughing as Dean removed his jeans and stood in his boxers. Castiel had seen him undressed many times, yes. But, that didn't mean he was always prepared for it.

Dean was... perfection.

Beautiful and strong with broad shoulders that he didn't fit into yet and an ass that made Castiel want to cry.

He pulled on the leaf-shorts, Ms. Tuck fitting them to him, and pulled the vine over his shoulder so it laid across his chest and back. The shorts fell to his knee and sat right below his hips. Practically every inch of that amazing body on display and open for Castiel to stare at.

And Castiel couldn't help but stare. 

Dean looked at him as Ms. Tuck made him do some of the choreography in his shorts to make sure they stayed put and Castiel felt out of breath. The leaves brought out the green in Dean's eyes and his freckles from summer were still a bit prominent. He looked like a forest nymph. 

Meg sidled up next to him, watching him as he watched Dean. He knew she was there, and he knew she wasn't clueless to how he felt about his best friend, but right now Dean was dancing about shirtless in leaf-shorts and Castiel was not about to miss out on that because Meg was there.

“You okay there, Clarence?” She asked a little mockingly. She threw an arm around his shoulders and leaned in with a smirky-smile. “I have to admit, the sight of Dean-o in nothing but foliage is a bit striking.”

He just sent Meg a blank face and turned away from her prying eyes. “His costume is fitting, yes.”

Meg rolled her eyes and pulled away from Cas, “Sure, Clarence.” She moved over to where Charlie was sitting, leaning against the wall.

“Um, you do see the very obvious and extremely intense eye-fucking that is happening on this stage right now, yes?”

Meg snorted as she leaned against the wall, looking down at the redhead and nodding. “Of course I do. I have eyes.”

“This is getting ridiculous.” Charlie exclaimed.

Meg scoffed, “You're telling me. I'm so over this pining shit.”

“So over it.” Charlie agreed. 

They sat, watching Dean and Cas make eyes at each other, yet both of them completely unaware. They'd have to do something about this soon, because the tension was just ridiculous. But, for now, they watched.

 

* * *

 

Dean was nervous.

Castiel watched him peek out the curtain for the twelfth time, chewing on the inside of his lip, eyes narrowed. He shook off all of their friends as they tried to calm his nerves and settle him before the show started. He stood alone, by the curtain, nervous.

Cas had kept his distance, only because it seemed like that's what Dean wanted. But, after watching him grunt and ignore Benny for the third time, Castiel moved to where Dean stood. He didn't say anything as he stood beside Dean, he just looked out the small open sliver of the curtain and waited for Dean to either push him away or draw him closer.

After a few moments, Dean sighed. He turned to face Castiel a bit with wide eyes and his bottom lip sucked into his mouth. “I'm so nervous, Cas.”

“I know, Dean.” He grasped Dean's shoulder loosely, looking into his leaf-colored eyes. “ _V_ _am budet khorosho, lyubov' moya. Vy ochen' sil'nyy_.”

_You'll be fine, my love. You're very strong._ He spoke gently in Russian and he could feel Dean begin to calm down. His anxiety was still there, but it wasn't as harried as before. Dean sagged into Castiel's touch and worried his bottom lip between his teeth.

“What if I mess up? Like, what if I'm horrible up there and disappoint Mr. M and my coaches and you guys? I don't want to let you all down.” 

“You won't, Dean.” 

And Cas meant it. Dean wouldn't disappoint. But, that was Dean's cross to bear – his raging insecurities that could only be healed in time.

“I fucking hope so.”

 

* * *

 

He sipped at the fresh beer he'd just taken from the fridge, appreciating the cold pull. This was stupid, but then again _they_ were stupid so what did it really matter. The “after party” that Charlie had singlehandedly put together felt more like a middle school sleepover than a rager meant for the cast after their first show – but, it was Charlie, and no one seemed to really mind the late-90's vibe so neither did he.

Their first show had been... amazing. 

He had freaked out a bit before curtain, but once he was up onstage there was no stopping him. It was like he forgot about everything when he was up there reciting lines and dancing about. He had soared over the audience on the wire, smiling impish and coy at everyone onstage. It was perfect.

They had two shows tomorrow and another on Sunday, and Dean couldn't help but be excited. He had no idea what he wanted to do about college, but he honestly wouldn't mind doing something like this. Which, was something he'd never considered before. 

Dean slinked his way back to the sitting room towards the back of the house, moving through the living room from the kitchen to get there.

Bela's house was packed with the whole cast and friends who weren't in the actual show but were obviously invited. Bela herself was perched on the counter in the kitchen, Tessa and Donna beside her, pouring shots down the throats of their classmates straight from the bottle, loud dance music wafting from speakers, people dancing and laughing and generally having a good time.

Benny was in the middle of some story when he finally reemerged from his jaunt to the kitchen, it was still loud back here, but just a tad less so they could talk at a comfortable yell. Charlie fell over onto Meg's shoulder, laughing at Benny's tale which Meg was smirking at.

Cas sat beside her, eyes slightly narrowed as he followed along in the story, attempting to figure out the joke buried in there. Ash, Jo, Kevin, Lisa, Garth, Dorothy, Balthazar, Hannah, Crowley, and Victor all sat around in an almost circle; some on the floor, some on the small couch and armchairs. 

Dean slid into his spot on the floor in front of Cas, he leaned back against the couch seeing as Cas' legs were drawn up from the floor. Benny's story rambled on into a Victor story from a football practice a few weeks ago that had everyone dying, and that morphed into Balthazar and Crowley attempting to out British each other which was equally as entertaining. Somewhere in there someone had commented on Dean's thought from earlier about how middle school this all felt, which of course prompted Charlie into making it even more so. 

“Hey, you wanna diss my party skills, fine.” She stood, grabbing Dean's almost empty beer right out of his hand and chugged it.

His eyes went all appalled and his arms went wide, “Dude!” 

Cas just leaned down and placed his own half empty beer in Dean's outstretched hands without a word. Dean leaned his head back and looked up at Cas upside down and smiled before taking a drink.

Charlie wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and belched very attractively. “Alright, bitches. You want middle school? Let's do middle school.” She placed the now empty beer bottle down in the middle of their sort of circle. “Spin the bottle. _Boom_.” 

Garth, Benny, Jo, and Balthazar started to laugh immediately, everyone else was smiling and shaking their heads. Except Hannah and Kevin who were blushing about the whole thing. Dean just chuckled behind the rim of Cas' beer.

Meg smirked and raised a brow. “Spin the bottle? Come on, Ginger Spice, you _know_ everyone in this circle has made out with practically everyone in the circle.”

Charlie just shrugged, seemingly un-phased. “Fine, Seven Minutes in Heaven. Or Truth or Dare. Your pick, but you wanna mock my party, then we're gonna rock the fuck out of it.” 

Meg narrowed her gaze as she looked around the circle, surveying who was actually seated to participate before making her decision. Why anyone was letting Meg pick the game was beyond Dean, but he was too slow on the draw to say anything about it now.

“Combo. Spin the bottle, Seven Minutes, and Dare.” The group just sort of quirked some brows at her until she rolled her eyes. “Yeah, fuck off, it'll be fun. Spin the bottle, whoever it lands on is your intended for Seven Minutes, but you must first complete a Dare before you get to ride off into the sunset that is the spare bedrooms.” 

“That sounds exhausting.” Jo complained from her spot leaning against Ash. 

“Yeah, well, we're not twelve anymore.” Meg fired back.

“What're these Dares gonna be like?” Victor asked skeptically.

“And what if you land on another dude?” Garth asked in earnest. 

Balthazar chuckled and leaned into Garth's space, gently brushing the fringe from the skinny boy's eyes. Bal was smooth at the worst of times and downright suave at the best; Dean knew he was Pansexual, but he'd never seen someone with such fluid sexuality quite like Balthazar – the guy practically exuded sex anyway and wasn't very picky about who he was attempting to woo. 

“Well, I'm sure you'd be able to find _something_ to do for seven minutes.”

Garth seemed a little star struck as Balthazar pulled away, that smarmy smirk on his handsome face. “Wow,” Garth chuckled, shaking his head and turning back to the group. “That just made me question a few things.” 

Dean couldn't help the snort and the loud laugh that followed, prompting everyone to laugh as well. Balthazar chuckled and clapped Garth on the back before dropping an arm about the skinnier boy's sharp shoulders.

“Who gives a shit what the Dares are going to be like, Henrikson.” Meg responded to his question. “Just roll with the punches and live a little; you're not a cop yet.” 

The two were equally matched in piercing glares and it wasn't the first time that Dean had thought they'd make an interesting couple. Cas seemed to think the same as Dean watched him eye their friends with intrigue from where he sat perched on the couch next to Meg. 

“So, are we playing?” Charlie asked from her position on the end of the couch, sitting on the other side of Meg and Castiel. There was a general mumble and nod from the group, the consensus being yes and Charlie yipped in her seat. “Hells _yes_! Let's do this, bitches. Seventh grade, here we come.”

Charlie went first and landed on Balthazar – prompting some _ooh_ s and giggles from the group. Charlie rolled her eyes with a smile as she stood with Balthazar in the middle of the circle, awaiting their Dare and then their jaunt to the bedroom. 

“Well, hello, darling.” Bal smirked down at the red head.

She turned towards the rest of the group with a pointed finger, “I'm going this for you all. Now none of you can complain if you get matched with a sex that is not your preferred. I'm sacrificing myself like Harry did in the seventh book –” 

She got cut off from rambling by Jo who shouted their Dare out into the air. “Give him a Jersey Turnpike!” 

Charlie scowled at Jo as the rest of them cheered and laughed. It was no secret that Charlie was a little awkward when she danced and also _super gay_ , but Bal was smooth like jazz and would fuck anything so he sort of made up for it.

“I'm going to full out _Psycho_ murder you, Joanna Beth.”

“Hop to it, sweetheart!” Jo blew her a kiss.

The music was loud enough from the rest of the house that they didn't have to pull out somebody's cellphone, although _everyone's_ cellphones were out and probably would be for the duration of this game. Bal smiled and twirled Charlie about for a few moments, making her laugh and smile once again before she had to go to town on Balthazar like she was a drunk college coed at the Jersey Shore.

They stood in the middle of the circle, Charlie turning around so that her back was against Bal's front and began to shimmy her hips enticingly before she bent over to touch her hands to the floor. Her knees were straight, her legs in a wide stance and her ass as high up as it would go as they grinded together. Dean wasn't gonna lie, it was a little impressive.

It lasted all of thirty seconds before Charlie stood and the two of the hugged as the group cheered them on. Charlie gave them all the finger before dragging Balthazar out of the circle and into one of the downstairs guest bedrooms down the hallway from where they sat in the back sitting room.

Meg was next in line in the circle, spinning the bottle and landing on Victor. Dean would pretend tomorrow that he didn't cheer loudly when that happened, but he so did. Cas whooped too, so he didn't feel as embarrassed. 

Meg rolled her eyes at them and stood in the middle of the circle, manhandling Henrikson up from the floor to stand with her. They were both grouchy and a bit sarcastic – one most certainly more than the other (Meg, obviously) – but they were even tempered with each other.

“You have to refer to each other in endearments for the rest of the night.” Benny called out, knowing it would aggravate the two hardcore sarcastics, tipping his beer towards them in a salute with a wide smile. “Give us a taste before you go.”

Meg rolled her eyes as Victor groaned and shot Benny the finger. “Baby, wanna get out of here?”

Victor sighed and turned to face her, “You know it, cupcake.”

“Let's do it, Shnookums.” Meg smirked, grabbing Victors hand and leading him out of the circle.

“Okay, Honeypot.”

Dean put his phone down as they exited the circle, he had a feeling he'd have a lot of ammo before the night was through. He could hear Bal and Charlie returning back to the circle before Jo went and he could feel Lisa's eyes digging into the side of his face. He chanced a look at her and watched her smile all slow and pretty at him.

He liked Lisa. He'd always like Lisa. But the things he felt for Cas eclipsed anything he felt for her now. He loved Cas, and wanted Cas, Lisa was… fleeting, something from his past that he didn't particularly need to revisit. He knew that she wanted more from him, more than the friendship they'd fallen easily into once again after their very amicable breakup and summer romp. But he couldn't give that to her, not anymore.

He returned her smile with one of his own before tipping his head up and raising his hand to give Cas his beer back. Cas took it without a word and took a long pull before handing it back to Dean. He was a little preoccupied with watching Cas' mouth wrap around the bottle and the way he licked his lower lip to catch any stray amber liquid. The heat that coiled in his stomach had his cock twitching in his jeans, fucking Cas and his stupid perfect mouth. 

He snapped back to attention as Jo's bottle landed on Benny, and Charlie jumped at the chance to get back at Jo for her dare. Charlie tossed her head back and laughed as she rubbed her hands together mercilessly like an old time-y villain. She dared them to convincingly lip sync/dance _You're the One That I Want_ from Grease. It was really very funny, Jo and Benny were both good sports and while Benny was definitely _not_ a convincing Danny Zuko, Jo could for sure land Sandy if the school decided to do Grease next year.

When Jo slinked around Benny for the final time and pulled him out of the circle laughing all loud and bright, Ash grabbed the bottle and it landed on Lisa. Garth dared them to “out smize each other” as Victor and Meg came back to the circle.

“What the fuck is a “smize”?” Dean called from his place on the floor.

Cas rolled his eyes and pushed at the back of his head, “Don't act like you've never sat with my sister and watched _America's Next Top Model_ reruns for the majority of a Sunday.”

Dean flushed a bit and huffed as he leaned up to wrestle Cas to the ground next to him, “You shut your liar mouth, Castiel.” Cas just laughed and let Dean manhandle him to the floor as everyone around them chuckled at the very normal display of the two of them all over each other.

“For those of you who aren't Dean – who has _totally_ watched ANTM,” Charlie started and winked at Dean, who pouted a bit into his beer as the joke turned on him. “Tyra Banks invented the smize. It's when you smile with your eyes, like so.” Charlie and Dorothy then gave a very over dramatic display of a smize.

Lisa and Ash had their smize off, which turned into a staring contest basically, but dissolved into hysterical laughter every couple seconds. Garth called time and they laughed off to their seven minutes.

Hannah and Crowley went next, Hannah having spun on him, as Jo and Benny came back to the circle. Kevin daring Crowley to try and get the stoic Hannah to crack a smile using only European slang. It was actually pretty funny to watch Crowley's attempt at comedy using bad words in his posh accent that he would usually rolled his pompous eyes at. 

They slunk off as Lisa and Ash returned, the bottle now in Dean's hands. He knew who he wanted it to land on, but luck wasn't usually in the Winchesters favor, and he didn't want to get his hopes up. It'd probably land on Kevin or Lisa and he'd have to ignore the way Cas' eyes would trail after him as he slunk off with his intended.

At the same time, he was nervous that it would actually land on Cas. 

They were friends – best friends – the best of all the friends. They were surrounded by all their other friends, the people that they cared about and would totally judge their relationship when and if it changed. These were their peers; and while everyone knew that Cas was gay, and Charlie was gay, and Balthazar was everything, no one really knew that he was bi.

It wasn't actually a secret or anything, and he was ninety-eight percent confident that if and when they found out, he'd be totally cool with it. The opportunity had just never rose to say something about it until now.

But, Dean knew for certain that if he so much as kissed Cas in front of them, everyone would know. They'd _have_ to. He could never just kiss Cas and have it be platonic.

He reached out and spun the bottle with the appropriate amount of force, not really even looking at it, as his thoughts were still stuck on kissing Cas, and being a boyfriend, and their friends’ reactions if that were to happen before the year was up and they'd all be lost in the wind. 

He tracked the bottle's progress absently with his eyes as his mind moved with the topic, thinking about how their friends surely knew about his feelings for Cas – Charlie definitely did, Meg too, maybe even Benny – and then it stopped.

The bottle stopped. 

In front of Cas.

And Dean stopped breathing.

He turned his head to glance at his best friend, blue eyes a little round as he gently flicked them up from the bottle to Dean, almost a little shy. There was a question there, as well as an excuse; an out. Castiel wouldn't make him do something he'd be uncomfortable with, something that would chip even the slightest bit at their tightly woven friendship. He loved Cas even more for it.

And then, the weird air bubble that only ever happened in movies popped and the noised ratcheted back up and everyone was _oooh_ ing and laughing. Charlie and Meg looking at each other like it was fucking Christmas or some shit, Jo looked like she was about to cry from how happy she was, Benny was giving him eyebrows, Balthazar and Crowley were smirking, Victor shaking his head, Garth looked like an excited puppy, Ash and Dorothy were smiling lazily at the turn of events, and even Kevin was trying to tamper down his smirky-smile. 

The only two who looked like they had to put in effort to join in on the fun were Lisa and Hannah. That wasn't exactly surprising. Dean knew how Lisa felt about him, about her hopes that they'd rekindle before graduation, before prom. And he certainly knew about the annoying as fuck crush that shy, cute, Hannah had on Castiel since the dawn of fucking time. It was something he'd had to deal with for years, as well as the jealousy and possession that went with it.

“Get on up here, studs! I've got plans for you.” Charlie called.

Dean rolled his eyes and stood from his spot on the ground, stretching out his muscles from sitting on the floor. Cas clamored up all cat-like and graceful beside him and they made their way into the middle of the circle. Dean was honestly a little terrified about what Charlie was going to do.

She seemed to look at Meg silently for confirmation and the both of them were smiling and holding in snorts of laughter as Meg nodded and got up out of the circle. She came back with a chair from the kitchen as the music changed to a song that he definitely remembered. 

“Oh, fuck no, Charlie.”

She looked at him fake-innocently with her mouth open and her eyes wide.

“Charlie, _no_.”

Cas was looking at him with furrowed brows and confusion written across his face as his own face began to flush.

“Dean, _yes_.” Was all that Charlie replied with.

They stared each other down for a few moments before Crowley called out from the circle and over the music which seemed to get much louder after Meg went into the kitchen. “Mind sharing with the class?”

Dean continued to glare as Charlie excitedly turned towards the rest of their friends and explained the dare that he'd already figured out.

“I dare Dean to give Cas a lap dance in the form of the Magic Mike _Pony_ solo.” She smirked as the group went crazy, screaming and laughing hysterically. “Now, whether you choose to do either of the actual movie dances or Jenna Dewan's lip sync battle one; that's up to you.”

She knows that he knows this dance. They all know that he knows this dance. He went as Magic Mike for Halloween last year because he'd both forgotten that it was Halloween and didn't have enough money to make and or buy a decent costume, so he'd gone as something that he could pull off from his closet. The dance had just been something he'd learned a few days before in an effort to impress/entertain everyone at the party. 

He was seriously considering setting himself on fire at this point. He couldn't even look over at Cas.

He sighed, rubbing a hand over his eyes before shaking his head. “Fine.” He grumbled out all gruff and annoyed. “But you owe me for this.” He narrowed his eyes and pointed at Charlie. “And I'm not taking my pants off.”

“Spoilsport!” Meg called. 

He shook his head as he pushed Cas by the shoulder in a gesture to go sit in the chair they'd brought him from the kitchen. Cas looked alarmed and a little turned on already – it really, _really_ pained Dean that he knew that little fact about Cas and had never been able to actually _do_ anything about it – but sat in the chair, a ruddy blush working over his pale skin. His face remained stoic and passive as normal, the only emotion to be seen was bleeding out from his eyes, which were hyper focused on Dean.

He could feel the pinpricks of arousal start on his skin from the way Castiel was staring at him. He hoped that this wasn't crossing some unspoken line between them. They'd done ridiculous things to each other before, but for whatever reason, this just felt different this time.

The song was about to end, they'd been fighting and it'd played out, but Dean knew that Meg would've clued Bela in on what was happening and told her not to change the song from repeat until she gave the okay. He didn't look around to see if Bela was in the room watching, but he didn't really care if she was.

“Dewan-Tatum.” He called as the song ended and was about to restart. “Both.” He clarified and he heard a few cheers, mostly from the females of the group, but there were a couple whistles from the guys too. 

The song restarted and he did the opening of the original Magic Mike version, because clearly there weren't active power tools just lying about. He was a little annoyed that he was even almost properly dressed for this shit. He hadn't felt like getting actually dressed after the show and had pulled on sweatpants and one of Sammy's hoodies that he always kept in the back of the Impala; he wasn't wearing a wife-beater and he didn't have a hat, but he could make do. 

He unzipped the hoodie, throwing it off behind him, aware that everyone had moved back and was now standing to watch this catastrophe in action, circling and thrusting his hips in time with the music. They were so fucking lucky that he remembered this shit and had just enough of a buzz to do it justice. Thankfully, it was basically just a lot of body rolls and hip thrusts, so how much could he mortify himself in three minutes?

Actually, retract that last statement. He really didn’t want to know.

He deviated from the original dance and sat on the couch across from Cas and began the choreography from Jenna Dewan-Tatum's impersonation of her husband in XXL. It was a couple powerful hip thrusts and a lean forward and around, he stood and slid towards Cas on his knees, legs spread all wide.

He looked ridiculous in his tight Zeppelin t-shirt and baggy sweat pants, dancing dirty to _Pony_ , surrounded by all their close friends. But Cas wouldn't take his eyes off him, his breathing becoming a bit labored, that delicious flush rising higher over his pale skin. If it was a fucking show those vultures he called friends wanted, it was a fucking show they were gonna get. He took this as the opportunity that it was, he was going to get Cas so hot and fucking bothered that when it was time for their Seven goddamn Minutes, they'd have no choice but to go for it.

Not the suave-est of plans, but he was Dean Winchester so he'd certainly come up with much worse. 

He slid to the side, still on his knees, leaning back as he caressed his chest down until his hands were on the floor and he was sliding on his hands and knees over and then back, his hips bouncing up and down. He could feel Cas' eyes following the movements of his hips, eyeing the bounce in his ass, taking in his muscled shoulders and arms. 

He did a sort of side-flip and got himself up from the position he'd been in on the floor. He stood, lifting up his shirt a bit, showing off the stomach muscles literally everyone here had seen a million times before, but in this context he knew it'd be different, feel different. He slid his hand down his stomach and into his sweatpants, grasping his cock and thrusting his hips right into Castiel's stoic and blushing face, cool smirk never leaving his own lips.

Dean moved a little bit around him, playing with his shirt, before jumping down to the floor in a body roll move. He pressed his hips into the floor, arching his back so that his ass was up in the air and moved away from Cas on his hands and knees, thrusting his hips and ass.

He slid back towards him on his knees, hands spreading Castiel's legs open so he could step up onto the chair between Cas' thighs. He sunk his hands into the disheveled mess that his best friend called hair, all soft between his fingers, to steady himself as he rolled his hips in Cas' face. Dean didn't push too close to him, but it was clear that Dean's cock so close to his face was having a serious effect on Castiel. His eyes were wide, not looking away from Dean's face and his breathing shallow.

He released Cas' hair and did a back handspring off the chair, making sure not to fully extend his legs and kick Cas in the face – Sammy had done that a time or two when he'd still been in karate and asked Dean to help his practice his handsprings and round-offs; spoiler alert, it wasn't fun.

He laid back on the floor, all spread out in front of Cas, legs open wide and feet planted as he thrusted up his hips and locked eyes with his practically panting best friend. He wasn't sure if the next move was crossing a line or not, but it was in the choreography and he knew that they were both strong enough to pull it off, so he thought – what the hell.

He stood, pushed Cas' shoulders back and grabbed onto a strong thigh as he sort of cartwheeled onto his lap, Castiel's strong hands immediately gripping tightly at Dean's waist. Dean's head was planted in Castiel's thighs, his face right up against the slightly tented crotch of his jeans, his hot breath insistent and present on what he was sure was Cas' erection. Dean tightly gripped Cas' thighs with his arms, his hips at eye-level in Cas' face, his legs spread in the air and bent at the knee.

This was fucking ridiculous. Why did he do this? Why was he continuing to do this? What was wrong with him and all their friends?

He undulated a few times before rolling off of him and coming back facing away from Cas, his hips just slightly above Castiel's in a more traditional lap dance, hips rolling but barely touching. He let that linger for a few moments before he slid down on his knees and away from Castiel, and stood as the song ended. 

His breathing was heavy from exerting himself doing tricks he hadn't practiced in a year and from all the dancing he'd done earlier in the show. His friends were screaming and clapping coming to pat him on the back and gush about how ridiculous and amaze-balls that entire display was. He heard cheers from outside the entrance to the sitting room where a bunch of other party people had watched and saluted him with their drinks.

Charlie and Jo were screeching in his ears about how crazy-cool he was and why he didn't audition for more dance things they didn't know, when all of a sudden he watched Castiel remove himself from the chair he'd still been planted in and zero in on him. His blue eyes had that intense look that always reminded Dean of a solider heading into battle – they'd always joking called it his “Seraph” look – and it was heading right his way.

He was pushed away from Charlie and Jo by a strong hand on his chest, moving him back the very short distance to the wall just behind him, where Castiel proceeded to practically jump him against it. Their bodies were pressed tightly from head, to hip, to toe. He could clearly feel the very firm erection Cas had _most definitely_ been sporting during his dare pressed right up on his hip, and Cas was holding his head in his hands as he kissed Dean with the vigor of a dying man. 

He was nipping and licking and pressing into Dean's mouth and all he could do was grip Cas tightly and kiss back. It was a little harsh, a little sloppy, years of pent of frustration and tension and feelings exploding all over the place. Dean was vaguely aware that they had an audience present, an audience made up of practically all their friends, but he couldn't find it in him to give a fuck right now. Because he had six feet of Castiel pressed all against him and his best friend's ridiculous mouth on his, and how was he supposed to think when there was all this happening? 

They did break apart eventually, their breathing totally labored and harsh, still pressed tightly to one another, their eyes locked. He looked down at Castiel, his eyes so fucking blue this close, his mouth all kiss bruised and red, his pale skin still ruddy from the blush and now from the kiss.

He pushed Cas off him gently, the quick flash of panic in those blue eyes made him ache. He quickly grabbed Cas' hand and moved from the wall, pulling him out of the sitting room and down the hall towards the bedroom, his gaze never moving from Castiel's.

Their friends watched them go, _Pony_ still playing loudly on repeat because Meg and Bela hadn't been able to move from their spots to go turn it off. Charlie, Jo, Balthazar and Bela were all fanning themselves at what they'd just witnessed. Everyone else in their group was sort of struck into silence by the kiss. 

Charlie sighed, not moving her eyes from where the bedroom door closed, fanning herself. “Well, shit. Even I was turned on by that.” 

“You'd have to be dead not to find that appealing.” Bela's cool British voice agreed as she smoothed back her hair and took a deep breath.

Benny held out a hand in front of Victor. “You owe me twenty bucks.”

“Fuckin' A.” Victor grumbled as he fished out his wallet.

 

* * *

 

Dean pushed Cas against the door, claiming his mouth and rutting his hips against Cas', unable to stop himself. Cas let out a whine against his mouth that made Dean groan, his hands in Dean's hair. They kissed hard and sloppy, hips moving quickly against each other. Each rut that connected their cocks sent a shiver down Dean's spine and sparks behind his eyes.

He felt like he was going to pass out from the sensation of Cas against him. Just an endless cycle of lips and hands and hips. He wanted to lick every square inch of that pale skin. He wanted to mark it with his teeth. He wanted to worship those hipbones and get his mouth around that cock. He wanted Castiel naked and he wanted it now.

Cas already had his hands down the back of his sweats, squeezing and kneading his ass, pulling him closer as their hips rutted against each other. Dean had just snaked his hands under Cas' shirt, thumbing at those hipbones slinking up towards his nipples when a loud banging came from the other side of the door they were currently pressed up against. 

“Alright, bitches. Your seven minutes are up!” Charlie cried cheerfully as Meg snickered in the background.

Dean pulled his face away from Cas just enough to look at him. His eyes were practically black, all pupil, his mouth was red and abused, and his breathing labored. Dean could still feel the erection throbbing in time with his racing heartbeat beside his own. Cas' hands were still clutching Dean's ass and his own hands were gripped tightly on Cas' hips.

He wanted to strangle the laughing girls standing outside the door, but at the same time he knew this was so not the place for them to confess some feelings – which Dean had no doubt was a conversation they'd be having very soon.

“Do you want to go home?” He whispered, still so close to Cas' lips.

Castiel nodded, still slightly dazed and Dean began to untangle himself from Cas. Another series of banging knocks happened against the door and more laughter followed.

“Okay, you vultures!” Dean yelled at the door. “We'll be out in a second!” 

His erection was still throbbing to the beat of his heart, still incredibly painfully hard. He tried to adjust himself in his sweatpants, which was quite the feat considering they were sweatpants and practically see-through with a hard-on.

“Do I look like a sexual deviant?” He asked sarcastically, holding out his arms for Cas to inspect him.

Cas had adjust himself in his jeans, his eyes roaming Dean with a predatory glint that made him flush and his dick jump. 

“Yes.”

Dean rolled his eyes. “Thanks, Cas.” He leaned over to push Cas' shoulder in retaliation for his comment, but just ended up with his mouth once again on Castiel's. He threaded his fingers through Cas' insane hair, pulling his mouth closer as he nipped at lips and licked in all deep.

They pulled away from each other when they heard Meg scream, “Oh my god! Get out of the room!”

Cas rolled his eyes and moved past Dean to unlock the door, throwing it open and glaring at Meg. She just smirked as Charlie giggled. Dean followed after Cas, also glaring at the pushy girls they called best friends and made their way back out into the back living room. They unfortunately had to pass through to get out front where Baby was parked and Dean was not looking forward to their friends.

As soon as they stepped out of the hallway and their friends noticed them, the room erupted into a fit of whoops and hollers, cheering and clapping, and of course, laughing. Dean just gave them all the finger and grabbed Cas' hand, pulling him through the throngs of party people and out the door.

Once they were settled into the impala and away from those heathens they called friends, Dean finally let out a sigh of relief. It wasn't awkward between them, but the air was tense. He was afraid to say anything to ruin this fragile thing they had just started. Cas wasn't speaking either, so Dean just drove.

It didn't take them long to get to his house. He'd said home and figured Cas knew what he meant by that. If Cas wanted him to drive him back to his own house later, he would. But, Dean hoped that he'd want to stay. 

They quietly made their way inside and up into his room. The house was asleep, quiet in the darkness of the night, and giving off a feeling of urgency.

He was still hard, still turned on, and he still wanted to roll around with Castiel, kissing every inch of him. But, now he wasn't sure how to go about it.

Dean closed the door to his room, turning the lock silently and facing Cas. He was nervous now. He hadn't been nervous at Bela's, but he was nervous now.

Cas stood beside his bed, staring at him with those intense eyes, looking like he was ready to pounce. God, Dean hoped he would. 

Instead, fueled by his nervousness, Dean moved from the door and over to his dresser, pulling out pajama shirts and pants for both of them, just as he did every time Cas slept over. He found the consistency comforting, even though what he really wanted was both of them naked. He changed quickly, silently, ignoring the fact that his erection was obvious in only his boxers. He couldn't help but sneak a peek at Cas and saw the tent in his own shorts, a shiver running down Dean's spine at the thought. 

Once they were changed, Dean turned on the tv, the low murmur of _Buffy_ playing in the background as they slid into his bed, just like they had a million times before. But, it was different this time. This time Dean knew what Cas' lips tasted like, could recall the soft whines and moans he made, the feel of his cock heavy against Dean's.

They laid there silent for a moment, listening to Buffy sass the Scoobies, until Dean rolled over to face Cas, who followed. They were staring at each other and all Dean wanted to do was lean over and kiss him. He'd had these urges for a long time, wanting to kiss Cas and touch Cas, now should be no different. But, now he knew the feeling and he couldn't just let that go.

So, he leaned over and kissed him.

Castiel reacted instantly, sliding his body over in the bed until he was flush with Dean, hand in his dark blonde hair, tugging. Dean brought a hand up to cover Cas' jaw, controlling the bruising kiss as their bodies shifted against each other.

Cas nipped at his lip, pulling a moan from Dean that was just this side of too loud. It caused him to pull back just slightly, Cas trailing after his lips and pouting when he realized Dean wasn't kissing him anymore – the sight of that zapping straight to his cock.

“Wait.” He whispered.

They were so close, only a breath apart, Cas' eyes roaming Dean's face, both of their chests heaving. He could feel the heat of Castiel's erection pressed up against his hip and all it would take was one shift and their cocks would be deliciously pressed together. Dean pushed down that urge.

“Why?” Cas moaned out in a whisper, looking desperate for Dean to return to him. It made Dean groan and grab Cas' hip sharply as his own hips snapped forward, pulling a whine out of Cas.

“Because, we need to talk.” 

Cas looked put off then, pulling back from Dean with reluctant eyes. Dean pulled him back in, not letting him get far and firmly placing his hand on Cas' hip so he couldn't move.

He felt his heart beating too fast in his chest, his jaw tightening and his teeth grinding. He was about to admit to Cas the feeling that he'd kept to himself for years. He was nervous that Cas wouldn't feel the same. Just because they were kissing, didn't necessarily mean that Cas wanted him.

“Well, uh, first of all I'd like to tell you that I'm Bi, if that wasn't already obvious.” Dean whispered, his fingers tracing patterns unconsciously on Cas' hip, heart racing. “I didn't tell you, I didn't tell anyone – not because I was like, ashamed or anything... I just, didn't know how to bring it up, I guess.”

Cas' was staring at him with those wide blue eyes, chest rising and falling quickly, like he was nervous. “Good to know.”

Dean bit the inside of his lip as he smiled a little at Cas' easy acceptance. He shouldn't have expected anything different. But, his next confession was a bit harder. He'd always hoped that Cas maybe might've had a crush on him, even though they were so close. But, Dean was worried that it was all in his head. He pushed on anyway, they were already here, might as well go all in, right?

“I... like you.” He struggled to get out, looking up at the ceiling, shaking his head as his heart jack-hammered in his chest. There was no turning back after this. No matter the outcome, their friendship would be changed at least a little. “Like, a lot. In that stupid middle school like-like kind of way. I've had feelings for you since... god, I don't even know. A long time. I just... it's stupid. I'm probably not even your type and we're best friends and... I don't even know what I'm saying anymore.”

He felt stupid. And embarrassed. He was like the least articulate person when it came to chick-flick moments and matters of the heart. Someone should just smack him. This was just embarrassing for both of them.

Cas gripped the back of his head and sucked in a breath at Dean's confession, but he didn't let Dean wallow in humiliation for long. He pulled Dean in harshly, kissing him hard and sloppy, biting his lip and licking into his mouth with purpose, hands raking through his hair. When Cas released him, Dean's breathing was quick, his eyes sort of dazed, and his lips bruised.

Cas just looked at him and shook his head. “You're an idiot.” 

Dean gave a fake-wounded look that he always gave when Cas' called him that. But instead of Cas' rolling his eyes like usual, he leaned in a gently kissed Dean's lips.

“Dean, I have been so hopelessly attracted to you since I first realized that girls were not my... preferred. You are so pretty it should be illegal. But, you're also the most wonderful, selfless, honorable person I have ever met. I've liked you since I met you. But, you never seemed... open to that kind relationship from me, or any other boy. So, I thought we'd always just stay friends. Clearly I was mistaken.”

Dean's heart felt like it was going to fall out of his chest. He was absolutely sure that he was blushing big time. Cas liked him. Cas thought he was pretty. Cas _wanted_ him.

Dean leaned forward and kissed Cas again, leaving both of them breathless and panting. Dean felt like he was on fire, felt impulsive and reckless. He wanted to roll Cas over and fuck him into the mattress, he wanted Cas to do the same.

“I want you.”  He ground out in a voice that didn't sound like his own. “Cas, I want you so bad.” He whined all needy. He'd be embarrassed about it later, but right now his hips were moving in aborted little thrusts and Cas had a strong grip on his hair.

Cas flipped them at Dean's words, settling on top of him and both of them groaning then their hips flushed. He'd always known that Cas was strong. They were on the sparring team together and Cas had done both Swimming and Wrestling in the past. But to feel the strength in this aspect? It had Dean panting.

Dean's knees were pressed into either side of Cas' hips as they ground into each other, Dean's head arching back, exposing his throat. Cas wasted no time kissing down his throat, licking and sucking at the skin there, making Dean moan. Cas slapped a hand over Dean's mouth and stilled. 

“We have to be quiet, Dean.” He whispered right into his ear, causing Dean to shiver and his hips to buck up into Castiel's. “You don't want anyone to interrupt us.”

He shook his head as Cas removed his hand, “No, I most certainly do fucking not want anyone to interrupt this.” Dean rolled them over so Cas was now spread out beneath him. “I've been waiting a long time to get you here, no one is going to ruin this.”

Cas reached up and pulled Dean down, gently placing feather soft kisses to his lips. “Then you need to stay quiet.” 

He kissed Cas deeply, rolling his hips in deep, long thrusts, rolling them the way he'd fuck Cas if given the chance. Cas was whining softly, but needy, into Dean's mouth, his hands trailing down Dean's back and palming at his ass beneath his shorts.

“ _Cas_.” Dean whined quietly, moving his hips sharper against Cas', wanting nothing more than for their cocks to align and rut against bare skin.

“What do you need, Dean.”

A shiver went down his spine at Castiel's deep voice. Dean vaguely wondered what if would sound like after being deep-throated by Dean's cock. Would it get even darker than it was now?

“You.” He moaned out. “Something. More. I just… need more.” 

Cas removed his hands from Dean's ass to between them where their hips were still moving. He pulled down the front of Dean's sleep pants and let his cock spring free, the cool air making him hiss. Cas wrapped a hand around him and Dean nearly sobbed. Cas stroked him with a firm grip, leaning up to lick and nip at his neck.

Dean quickly scrambled to get his hands down Cas' pants, pulling his pretty dick out and stroking quickly. Cas made a sound like he had been punched in the gut, gasping and whining into Dean's neck. Dean was panting and moaning quietly into Cas' ear, hips snapping to fuck into Cas' fist. 

Cas was making more noise now that Dean's hand was on him, bucking up into his hold just as Dean was doing. He finally bit down on the meat of Dean's shoulder and came hard in his hand. Dean hissed at the pain from the bite but it sent him spiraling over the edge and it didn't take much more for him to come as well 

He felt winded as he pumped white ropes of come over Cas' hand and shirt, leaning down to lay his head in the space between Cas' neck and shoulder.

“Fuck.” He managed to get out, their hands still holding each other's lengths.

“Yes.” Castiel agreed, just as breathless.

Dean moved back and looked down at Cas' splotchy flush over his neck and ears, eyes wide and glassy, lips red and bruised. He leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on his lips before getting up from the bed and grabbing a towel from the back of his door. He dipped it in the glass of water sitting on his bedside table and wiped his own hand and then Cas', he patted at Cas' dick and then his own, cleaning them as best he could.

“Cas, buddy, we're going to have to burn that shirt.”

Cas looked down at the t-shirt he was wearing, finding it streaked with Dean's come. The small frown between his brows was too cute for Dean to handle in this post orgasmic mind-space. “Yes, that is rather unfortunate.” 

Castiel stripped the shirt and laid back against the pillows, staring at Dean. If Cas didn't paint just the prettiest picture lying there like that.

Dean gathered the soiled towel and shirt, shoving them deep into his hamper, and then moving back to the bed. He pulled off his own shirt, throwing it onto the floor and pulled Cas into his arms.

“So... are we doing this?” He couldn't help but ask as Cas settled against him easily.

“Doing what, Dean?”

“You know,” He started, nervous. “The whole dating thing.”

Castiel shifted in his arms so that he could look up into Dean's eyes. “Is that something you'd be uncomfortable with?”

“No!” He nearly shouted. “Not at all. I was just worried about our friendship if it like... you know, doesn't work out or whatever.”

Cas rolled his eyes and snuggled into Dean's embrace. “Don't think about what may become, Dean. Whatever happens between us, I will always be your friend. But, I can't lie and say that I haven't been dreaming about being your boyfriend for quite some time.”

Dean bit his lip to contain his smile. “Well, great. Because, I'm a really good boyfriend. Just don't ask Lisa or Cassie.”

Castiel snorted at that comment, “I'll try not to.”

Dean knew the alarm on his phone was set for early morning, they had shows tomorrow and he was _so_ not looking forward to their friends and their smirking attitudes. But right now, Dean was pretty content with Cas in his arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> senior year is not over, don't you fret.

**Author's Note:**

> TELL ME ALL THE THOUGHTS! OR COME YELL AT ME ON TUMBLR! @ellieohno


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